| by CHRIS BOUDREAU and LEX MANDRAKE ) MONSTER COOKINGJOY OF MONSTER COOKING The All-Purpose Adventurer's Cookbook by Chis Boudreau and Lex Mandrake Art Used: Slavic and East European Collections, The New York Public Library. “Felon, pugovka k nel prinadlezhashehala, | dereviannaia lazhka prepodobnogo Seria. (VTrotski lave.) Krromoltoarafila F. Dregera." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1849 1853, ion, The New York Public Library. "ig sis by the fire on the wolf rug." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1908 @uitp At and Picture Col DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, D&D, Wizards ofthe Coast, Forgotten Realms, the dragon ampersand, Player's Handbook, Monster Manual, Dungeon Master's Gulde, D&D Adventurers League, all other Wizards ofthe Coast product names, and their respecthe logos are trademarks of Wizaids of the Coast In the USA and other ‘countries. Al characters and their distinctive likenesses are property of Wizards of the Coast. This matesal s protected under the copyright laws of the United Sates of America, Any reproduction or unauthorized use of ‘the material or artwork contained herein is prohibited without the express writen permission of Wizards of the Coast (©2016 Wiards ofthe Coast LLC, PO Hox 707, Renton, WA 98057-0707, USA, Manufactured by Hasbro SA, Rue Fmile Boéchat 31, 2800 Delémont, CH. Represented by Hasbro Europe, 4 The Square, Stockley Park, Uxbridge, Middlesex, UBII TET, UKCONTENTS Foreword iii The Monsters We Eat iv The Culinary Arts vi Soups 1 Boutlla-light Bulette Bourguignon ‘Soupe A la Orc Gratinee Sauces 3 Baslisk Bernaise Beholder Bechamel Dragon Demi Glace Appetizers 5 Couat! Eggs in Aspic Myconid Duxelles Owlbear Tapenade Entrees and Luncheon Dishes Cacio e Pixie ‘Chuul Paella Goblin Thermidor Withid Parsilade Kobold Katsu Nothic Gnocchi Ragu alla Rothe Sahuagin Nicoise ‘Stirge SoubiseFOREWORD Its sald that every meal is a puzzle. That each strangely shaped piece Is a different ingredient. When we discover the ways in which they interlock, we create a picture of satlating beauty. Such has been the mantra of chefs since time immemorial. They take their perfectly procured portions of only the best cuts and combine them with a type of material wizardry. Any peasant can simmer a stew, or grill a bit of meat, but the technique of a true chef is a secret greater than any contained within an eldritch tome. ‘What then of the dungeon delving adventurer? Those who traverse the dark comers of the world with a stalwart heart, but a wandering belly? Is it wrong for them to wish for meals beyond hardtack and jerky Why must those who can master the art of the sword and the power of the elements be denied a mastery of the palette? We propose to you that they need not sacrifice one for the other. That such a traveler can eat well while on the road, or beneath the earth, or beyond the mortal realm. However, it would not be the same. No, for those who live a life of danger battling awesome creatures, the craft of cuisine would not be so safe. Cooking under these conditions would not be familiar to any chef of the realms. Those who live lives of adventure have more potential than anyone to create the finest dishes. Truly, one with access to such ingredients would not cook as a renowned chef does. They would cook better. IIs with that certain knowledge in our minds that we present this book to you. Contained within these pages are rules and recipes for cooking intricate dishes using the remains of slain foes. Being that these meals consist of magical creatures, they all produce supernatural effects after being eaten. This text also contains special items to make it possible to prepare even the most elaborate fare while in the field. Finally, for those who \wish to have previous experience in the culinary arts, this book contains rules for that as well. That said, it is important for anyone interested in this subject matter to remember that ideas do not exist in a vacuum. The idea of adventurers cooking is not a new one, although we hope that in the following pages, we can give a different take on the exercise. In the Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook, Page 154, Cook's Utensils, are introduced as a type of Artisan Tool. Their possible uses are expanded upon on Page 81 of Xanathar’s Guide to Everything. We have tried to follow Xanathar's expanded format in this text, Both these influences are obvious, but worthy of mention. What is less evident perhaps are the writings of other authors who first broached the topic of expanded ‘cooking rules in Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition. Two works that inspired us to undertake this project are How To Cook by Cecilla D’Anastasio and From Dungeon to Dinner by Nicholas Martignago. Both of which are available on the Dungeon Masters Guild. While these documents take different tracks toward the goal of monster cooking, they nonetheless helped fuel ideas for this book. The last, and most critical player in the production of this document is of course you, ‘our dear reader. Simply that you have taken the time to pick up and read our work means a great deal. Thank you.THE MONSTERS a WE EAT ‘When you delve into the deepest caverns of the most ancient of runs, you wll encounter a multitude of powerful monsters. Often these en ‘counters lead toa very dead monstes, and an ad- venturer who has just burned through alot of ca fori. Rather than letting that carcass rotor attract scavendets, why not use Itt0 replenish some of your enersy? ‘The problem les in what parts from these monsters we can eat without inducing violent ie ness. No one wants to sit down toa meal after a Tong fight, only to be felled by your opponent ater they‘e alteady dead. Furthermore, what parts could possibly be beneficial to eat in more ways than just filing your stomach? It stands to teason that since many ofthe creatures encountered in the wild have supermatual abies, consuming them could ‘rant the eater similar abilities, While We at Joy of “Monster Cooking have not catalogued every mon- ‘ter known forts edible properties, we have deter- mined a eat number. Moreover we have dined how best to use them In a number of delicious and uncommon dishes. What follows isa listing ofthe monsters ap pearing in recipes throughout this document. In Addition, we also provide a short description of ‘what supernatural effect to expect upon eating Basilisk -A large magical lizard capable of turning its prey to stone. Not only does ths beast taste fa tasticaly tender, but ingesting I or is eggs can you the abity to ward off all sons of petifiation ‘Beholder - For an otherworldly creature made from ‘dreams, Beholders are suprising filing. They are best known for the array of magical Beams they fie from their many eyes. These eyes are packed with magical energy, and when eaten can provide robust protection. However, since the beams cover Such a wide aay of magics, thei benefits can be a tad random, ‘light - lights are made from plants, and ae the perfect candidate for vegetable heavy dishes. These creatures are brought to life by the magic of the forests they inhabit. Consuming the light in parts some ofthat magic tothe eater, making them more at home in the wilderness, Bulette- lage heavily armored creature known, {or their superior tunneling abilities. The meat of a Bulete Is tough if not cooked property, but with sullable technique, It can be tender and rich, ‘Strangely, these creatures don't grant the eater a ‘tougher skin, but rather one oft less iconic pow ers the ability to leap reat distances, as the Bul fette often does when hunting pre. ‘Chul -These hulking aquatic crustaceans’ sim lates to lobster are not purely cosmetic. Tough ‘many parts are more lke shrimp of octopus in text tte there is no “bad” part ofa Chuul forthe sea- food lover. Consuming them grants the eater ‘access to this creature's wondrous innate ability t0 Sense magic in its area, ‘Couatl- The meat of these mythical snake birds ‘may have mote in common with thei serpent half, but their eggs definitely take after the avian side. ‘These creatures possess the ability to shield their thoughts and forms from magical detection. While ‘this may make it dificult to find Couatl in the fist place, the effect can be replicated after eating, Dragon - What more can be said about Dragons? They ate certainly one of the most legendary mas. kcal creatures, and thetr taste ves up to thet re- Dutation. Since Dragons typically have an element: al breath weapon, eating them can simply make ‘one mote resistant to that element. However, eat ing older Dragons have additional magical effects Goblin - They ae one of the most common and lowly of monsters, Not paticulaty appetizing to ‘most, but afew pars are quite edible. Eating them an also make one surprisingly limber, which a ‘most makes it worthwhile lthid - While these creatures are strange and allen, it does not mean they can't be delicious. ‘Their tentacles are sad 10 be more delectable than ‘any octopus from this plane. Being that these mon- Sters have innate mind powers, eating them allows fone to tap into those psychic ables. Kobold - Perhaps even lowlier than goblins, these tiny Dragon men luckly taste much better. Unfor ‘nately, eating them can be abit of a double edged sword. While thelr natural inclination toward ‘working In packs can be transferred, so too can thelr weakness to light, Myconid - Like Blight, mushroom people are a natural choice for cooking. Myconids are known for their ability to create spores with supernatural effects. Cooking them property nt ony eliminates the danger of ingesting these spores, it can allow the eatet to produce spores themseWves. Never ‘spores may be abit embarrassing, but they are quite helpful,Nothic- These twisted forms of creatures tainted by magic may be tricky to prepare but ae simply {ul of magical residue. Like Beholders, the most ‘concentrated effects can be gotten by eating the Signature eye, Doing so can give the eater brief access to the Nothic's supematural power of per ‘ception, Orc: These brawny waitors are exceedingly dif: icultto prepare due to thelr extremely tough meat. However, its possible to find tender pars, and ‘when cooked properly can be quite tasty, Orcs nat tural ability to surge their adrenaline in batle can be tansferred to the eater, with surprising effect ineness, ‘Owibear- These creatures are perhaps one of the best known ofthe animal combinations, and are named appropriately so. Owibears are also known {or being powerful predators in the wilderness. ‘One who eats the Beast can access those hunting instincts. Athough this incentive is hardly needed sven how delicous and easy to cook Owlbea Is. Pixie - Few creatures contain so much magical ‘energy in such a small package. fay-flk nave all manner of magical abilities and thei parts can ttansfer those powers. Most east, chefs can cook 4 Piaie’s power to become unseen into some dishes, Sahuagin - These brutal humanoid aquatic hunters ate lke the nighimare version of Merfolk. How ‘ever, they ae the dream of any lover of isi-based dlishes. What many don't realize is that Sahuagin are actually amphibious rather than stricy water breathing. This natural ability can be granted to ‘one who consumes them, Stirge-Pethaps one of the most annoying and disgusting creatures afreshfaced adventurer can ‘encounter isthe Surge. Luckly, they are also a per fect example of when not to judge a book by its cover. Strge meat can taste great and more impot- antl, eating It can make one’s blood distasteful 0 all sorts of Bloodsuckers, AWord on intellegence: Where does one draw the line on eating Inteigent creatures We a the Joy of Monster ‘Cooking do not presume to be your moral arbiters, What Is right for one group might be wrong for another. Some people draw the line at language: “iFt speaks, we don't ea.” Other people don't eat meat at al preferting to lve a vegetarian lifestyle. ‘We advise that atthe very least, you let your party know what you intend to cook before you serve them. Before you start cracking open Ore skulls and aning out Nothic eyeballs inform your party ‘about the dish you intend to prepare, and make Sure they are comfortanle eating it the motal and Aletary choices of your party come fist above al That said, let me explain our stance on the matter, and the stance of this book. Ifyou and your party had ukimately lst that fight against those Orcs, those Kobold, that Sahuagin, what do you think those monsters would do? Those monsters ‘would eat you, ven the chance. And what do most of us do when we vanquish our foes? We us- tally leave them on the ground forthe vultures to Pick apart. Look, you'e going tobe kiling these Creatures anyways, so why pretend that ts more righteous not to eat them, given the chance. And. knowing low delicious some ofthese creatures, ‘an be, itwould be a waste to let them rot ‘We lve in a dangerous world, where The ‘Adventurer is advays coyy dancing with Death, Just fone room over, just one wrong step, and your time is up. With your Ife constant on the line, why ‘Would you wait any longer to taste something new? ‘Our sense of tase and the world of food ‘are grand adventures, as intense and challenging {as any dungeon, as icky and complex as any wiz ‘aids tower. So why limit the tools you could use on these adventutes? Werte here to help expand yout Palate. To open your taste buds to nev possibik- ies. Io give you the too's you'll need going forward. To get you ready for the epic adventure that Is Cuisine,THE CULINARY ARTS Variant Rule: Cooking ‘yplcaly, when a player uses Cook's Utensis they roll an ablity check and add ther proficiency bonus. The dficuit is set by the Dungeon Master based on how dificult they believe the check to be. Here, we alter the second half ofthat formula, “This rule sets the DC For the ablity rll to a static number no matter what meal is belng cooked. We at Joy of Monster Cooking feel that if the adventurer has already done the work of king ‘powerful monster they should not need to perform a difficult roll 10 enjoy the culinary benefits ofthat kill However, we have built ina higher isk and higher reward for cooking. Ifthe player rolls, significantly below the tarset number, they not nly lose the magical effects of the dish but also fain the Poisoned congltion for a period of time. Converse, ifthe player rolls significantly above the target they gain addtional healing. ‘Our rule assumes that to make these recipes, the player doing so must be proficient in either ‘Cook's Utensils of Chef's Utensil, For information fn Chef's Utensils and ways to use different ability Scores or cooking, look futher in this chapter. We also intend that these meals ae prepared and faten during a short or long rest Difficulty Classes For Cooking outcome pe effect Gut Wrenching Failure Tor less Tasteless But Edible Bi Well ecuted Dish na ACulinary Masterpiece 18 or more Poisoned for the 1 hour, provides no special effect Provides no special effect Works as described in recipe Works as described in recipe, Regain all HP on a Sort Resto all Hit Dice on aLong Rest New Tool: Chef's Utensils Chef's Utensils (26P) A simple set of Cook's Utensils can get you ‘through the preparation of mundane, everyday meals. But you, my friend, are anything but simple and mundane. You ae a Chefl visionary A ‘aulinary craftsman who demands only the sharpest knives and only the sturdest of tools ‘Components. Chefs Liensils include a knife roll(a chef's knife, a paring knife, a flet knife, and a sertated knife), a wie whisk, a large saute pan, a Staight sided saucepan, a pai of metal tongs, a wooden cutting board, measuring cups and ‘spoons, fine cloth for staining liquids, and a Dortable spice rack containing al the herbs and spices presented inthis book. (ther spices may be presenta the DM's discretion) Intimidation, Oui Chef! The voice ofa chet has absolute authority in the kitchen. When ‘ooking food, oF ordering others to do so, you have a formidable presence. You're used to cooks following your orders and customers trusting yout prowess, even iit akes raising your voice from, time to time. Insight. Omakase. A good chef can read a ‘customer like an open book. When someone is cating food that you've prepated, you pick up on ‘mall ticks, gestutes, and wordings that might go Uunnoticed to others. Performance. Big Night. In your hands, a ‘meal s not just nourishment, i's an event! When ‘cooking fora larse crowd, you know how to please and impress everyone atthe table. This willbe a hight to remember! ‘Nature. Farm to Table, You'te keenly aware of ‘what kinds of produce are in season. You can tell the time of year a plant was harvested and the ‘general location where it can be found. You aso know which plans are edible, which arent, and hhow to harvest them safely. Wouldn want to be poisoning the customers! History, Journeyman. You've tried countless types of dishes in your career. Ever plate tells a story. You can tell the cultural background of any ‘ken dish that you eat, and what cicumstances it ‘was made under. (Cantrps in The Kitchen ‘Many adventurers have the ability to cast spells. Simple magics can be a huge boon for ‘cooking, Cantips such as Prestditation of Control Flame can be used to reat effect when preparing meals. CConitol Fame can be used to adjust the Intensity of your cook fre on the fy, making it ‘much easier to go from a boll to a simmer. Prestdigtation’s ability to clean an object can ‘make dealing with piles of used dishes, mixing Utensils, and measuring cups a breeze. Given that Prestdigtation Is so versatile, some DMs may allow a caster to use It as a shortcut for other tasks such as prepping ingredients.New Background: Chef vil You've spent your whole ife working up through the ranks ofthe Kitchen. From dishwasher, to prep: ook, to ne-cook, to sous-chet, and finally, Chef Scores of kitchen workers have been under your ‘command, and you've run them lke a General uns a welltrained brigade. Food isnot just your Passion, is your life. To you, a meal is not just ‘something eaten for nourishment, i's something tobe studied and perfected. With a sharp knife, and even sharper Senses, you've worked hard 10 master your craft Your repertoie of recipes and honed shils came from years of tutelage under ‘other masters ofthe culinary ats, unl you ‘eventually became a master In your own right. When choosing this backsround, work with yout DM to determine what kinds of restaurants You've worked in or owned. Were they small, Family ‘owned taverns, ot bustling highvend eateries in a major city? Are they stil in operation? What kinds, fof food were they known for! Were there prominent NPCS who frequented the restaurant and did you become friendly with them? Who is ‘our Former master, and what's become of them? Abo, shat was your reason for leaving the restaurant lfe behind? Pethaps you became ‘obsessed with a rare Ingredient, and set out to find itat any cost Maybe ife inside a fancy Kitchen was {0 stifing, and you've ventured off to see how “real” people prepare and eat meals. Whatever yout reason, you're out in the word now. Your kniferol is packed, your pans are wel seasoned, and you have a taste for adventure ‘Skil Proficencies: Intimidation, insight Tool Proficencies: Cook's Utensils, Chefs Urensils Equipment: Your Chefs uniform (double breasted jacket, checkered pants, Chef's ha, the fist piece of gold you ever made at your restaurant a tome of your collected recipes, a honing rod, camp dinnerware (a lightweight, stackable set of 4 plates, Bowls, forks, and spoons), a pouch containing 5 Gp (excluding the piece of {old mentioned above Ccutinary Foous chefs become obsessed with studying and mastering certain sIvles of cooking. Some can ‘pend their entie professional ives on just one aspect of the culinary arts. Consider what your favorite types of food are, and what kind of ‘ooking your character would focus on. You can ‘choose from this lst, roll a D8 to decide, or work wth your DM to choose an option not listed here. 1. Pastry and desserts 2. Barbeque and siling 3. Vegetarian and vesan 44 Sandwiches and pub fare 5, Haute cusine and molecular gastronomy 6 Bread baking and pizza craft 7. Sushi and sashimi 8, Charcuterle and sausage making Feature: Service Industry You have an unspoken camaraderte with yout Fellow cooks, bartendets, and waltstaff. Anyone in the service industry can Spot you as one of thei ‘own, and they tend to give you preferential treatment, You receive food and drink for tree ‘hile visting any establishment with an organized kitchen staf as long as they are not hostile towards you. They are aso likely to give you access to thelr Kichen to cook meals, should you ask them fo do so. When they know you're a Chef, the chen and wait taf will ust you more than usual. They are more likely to give up rumors and facts about regular customers and people working, atthe establishment Suggested Charactentstics: Personality Trait: ‘The rigorous and demanding word of the professional kitchen instls behaviours on cooks ‘and chefs that last long after their shifts are over. Chefs take the phrase “work hard, play had,” as a personal philosophy. When there's work to be done, a chef wil dive themselves and the people ‘around them like a field marshal But when its time to unwind, they will feast and drink til the ‘wee hours of the morning, usually to their detriment. With a mind always focused on Increasing efficiency, and cutting wastefulness, they can be a boon fo an adventuring party even i Itinvohes dealing with someone who is ‘ccasionally strict, loud, and overbearing, 1. Lam an asst wth werk anays ony 2. make a nual of leaning and stoning my Lunform and equipment. ove to hagale, never settling for what | think ‘soverpriced. 4. oud praise my companions when they are doing a good job, and loudly chastise them when they aren't 5. Thave a crude and sometimes offensive sense of humor 6. Hook down on people who dont respect fine food and drink. | hyperfocus on a task until it's complete, ‘whether its important or menial. 8. I disrespect laziness, and will ty to mothate someone that isn't working hard enough With force if necessaryteat: 1 I vit Echelon. Everyone wil fll nto the weeds if the team doesnt stick to their assigned jobs. Rigld structue fs needed to get anything done efficient (Lawful) Hospitality. I's my job to make sure every. fone is eating well and drinking deep, even if Infightens my coin purse. (Good) ‘Originalty. Creative vision should never be hampered, even if t goes against common, sense or the law. (Chaotic) Avarice | will swindle customers and colleagues alike to make more coin. I's a ddog-eatdog world, and Fm only looking out {or myselt. (Ei) Laborer. Keeping people fed is ust another part of an operational society. 'm not here 10 impress anyone. (Neutral) ‘Master. | hone my skils and the skils of ‘those around me so I can become a master cof my craft. (Ary) Bond: ‘My knives, which were handed down from mm old master, are one of a kind. don't know who forged the knives, but 'd love to meet them one day. There isa dish from my childhood that | can’t set quite ight. Someday I'l track down the riginal recipe. ‘Someone, or something burned down my restaurant. {wil stop at nothing to find them ‘and make them pay. ‘There isa famous chef who I've always measured my ovn success against, and have bays come up short 'Afamous atic gave my cuisine a bad review ‘out of spite. I need 10 confront this person. Tam perfecting a certain someone's favorite dish. Hopefully when I present itto them, can Secure thet love, Flaw: © 2 6 | nave a very short temper, and lash out ‘when someone doesnt follow my orders. | suffer panic atacks when situations become Aisordetly beyond my contro. loverindulge on food and drink when it ‘comes time to unwind. rm very critical about food prepared by others. often judge them based on their ood. rm very possessive about my cooking equpment and ontletarjone ese use them, rm obsessive about cleanness, New Magic Items Mandrake's Mythical Ice Box Wonderous item, rare ‘This bas holds a small pocket dimension crated from the Elemental Plane of Ice. This item appears asa soft bag made of light blue sik, witha zipper top and shoulder strap. The mouth of the bag is roughly 3 feet in diametes and is 4 feet deep. ‘Much Ike other bags that have pocket dimensions within them, ts appearance belles its capacity. The bag can hold up to 1000 pounds, not exceeding a volume of 80 cubic fet, The bad welghs 25 pounds, regardless of is contents. Retrieving an tem from the bag reauires an action. Ifthe bag is overloaded, pierced, oF torn t ruptures and is destroyed, and it contents are scattered into the Elemental Plane of Ice. When the bag is ruptured it ets loose a blast of pure cold energy that has the same effects as the Cone of Cold spell, cast in a random direction (roll a DB to determine ditection) Ifthe bag is turned inside out, its contents, plus 1D4 pounds of snow, spill forth. the bag must be put right before it can be used again, eathing ‘eatures inside the bag can survive up toa ‘number of minutes equal to 10 divided by the ‘number of creatures, after which time they begin to suffocate The average temperature inside the bas is 0 degrees Falnenheit (-18 Celcius). The nature of the Cold inside the bag is magical and cannot be ‘warmed up in any way. Any item or creature placed Inside the bag reacts the same way t would to non: ‘magical temperatuies that are below freezing. Items and cteatues that are removed from the bag will thav and react to the amblent temperature outside the bag as normal. Ifa freezable liquid, such as water, 's poured Into the bag, you can speak a shape you would tke Itto freeze into, such as “cube,” “sphere,” “disk ‘or “oinder." and it wil form into that shape as it freezes. ime (1 hour for water en liquid from the bag. The frozen objects size isin direct proportion to how much liquid you deposted into the bag. Placing a Mythical Ice Box into another cextradimensional space, such as one created by a Heward’s Handy Haversack ot a Portable Hole, will Instany destroy both items and open a Gate into the Elemental Plane of ce. The Gate originates ‘here the one item was placed inside the other. Any creature within 10 feet ofthe Gate is sucked through it to a random location on the Elemental Plane of Ie. The Gate then closes. The Gate is one- ‘way only and can't be reopened,Sheness's simple Scorch Tandoor Wonderous tem, rae This tem appears asa hatd leather box wth a shoulder strap, measuring 1 foot long, 1 foot wide, and 1 foot deep. The box weighs 5 pounds. The item has three command words, each requiting YoU to use an action to speak it ‘One command word will cause the box to burst open and unfold into a4 foot long, 3 Foot Wide, and Ys foot deep cooking oven made of hard iron. The oven weighs 300 pounds. The oven has two rack positions and a heating element on the bottom. The stovetop has 4 burners. The oven stands on 4 steel legs with wheels a the bottom. Speaking the second command word while pointing at one of the burners, or the oven Interior, will cause the heating element In that Portion ofthe oven to ignite, The volume at which You speak the command word will determine how hot the flame willbe loud for hotter flame, quiet {or softer flamel. The source of the flame Is magical and does not requie fuel, but burns at the ‘same heat asa mundane fire ofthe same size. The flame cannot be extinguished by wind of cold, but ‘an be extinguished if submerged in water. The flame wil buin constantly until the second ‘command word is spoken again, or the third ‘command word is spoken, ‘The third command word will cause the oven to fold back into its original box form. Any items that are inside the oven that cannot fit within the box will be ejected out of the oven in the nearest 5 {oot space. The masical ames willbe ‘extinguished, and the box will be cool tothe touch,SOUPS Bouilla-blight Morale can run low while deing the cold and ‘cursed reaches ofthe world. The pat is etting mad. They e geting hungyy. You had better get something on the fite quick before your Barbarian friend takes another one of your toes as a snack. ith afew common ingredients, and a handful of ‘creatures that areas tough and dmb as twigs, ou ‘an end your day of hacking down plant monsters With this hearty and comforting soup. Equally at home inthe depths ofa dungeon, or an open forest rove. its always a crowd pleaser 1 pound assorted Blight parts, peeled of thelr tough outer bark, and cut into vs inch pleces 1 tablespoon oll plus 1 tablespoon more for sauteing the Blights 1 onion, thinly sliced =1/2 fennel bul, thinly sliced, with fronds reserved for gamish = Salt and pepper “1 dove gar, sliced 1 pound tomatoes, diced +172 cup red wine =2.1/2 cups fish stock +1 teaspoon saffron (optional) 1 bay leat 1. Peel back the rough outer bark of the Blights ‘with the at of an axe, scrape with a dagger. 2, Heat I tablespoon of oll in a hea bottomed pot over a medium fre. When the oils shimmering, add the sliced onion and fennel {othe pot, and season with salt and peppet. Allow the vegetables to sveat, then add the sliced garlc. Cook vegetables untl they turn translucent 4, Add the tomatoes and there juices, along ‘with the wine, to the pot. Stoke the fie unt raging, and alow the wine to reduce to halt 4, Add the stock 0 the pot, along with the ‘optional saffron and bay lal. When the stock ‘comes toa bol, move the pot halfway off the fire, and allow the stock to simmer uncovered for 10 minutes. Ina separate pan, directly over the fre, heat the remaining oll until ighty smoking. Toss In the Bight parts and saute unt the pleces take on a datk brown color. 6. Add inthe assorted Bight parts tothe broth and stir to combine. Cover pot and cook, Stiring occasional, over low heat until the blight parts ae tender and have stopped screaming, $10 4 hours. Spoon soup into warm bows and garnish with, fennel fronds ifthe Druid hasn't eaten them already. Serve along with bread or hardtack for ‘soaking up the broth ‘Branching Out: After eating this dish t becomes. easier for you to make your way through natural plant ie. For the nex 8 hours plants that count as hhindering terrain do not slow your movement, In adaltion, when you passthrough areas of heavy Hora, you do not leave tracks. Bulette Bourguignon Many moons ago, | worked on a potato farm in the highlands for a season. The farmers ~a beautifully rugged older Couple ~ had personalties carved by every mundane nuisance, every vicious winter that ‘a commoner could face. The rigors of time had lft them with a temperament towards hardship that ‘was akin to astern shrug, and with skin sun bleached and ruted to match. ‘One bright afternoon during the harvest, the ground erupted around us. A Bulette, perhaps ‘not fully grown, but stil lage and fearsome enough for me to reco, had burrowed into the farm. The old couple, not missing a beat, dropped thelr plows and ran to the barn Like taned soldiers, they emerged wielding poleaxes and charged the beast. After afew moments, they had felled the Butete,ieaving this huge pile of bleeding monster among the potatoes. Wordless they began the process of working knives between the armored plating, and peeling it back, revealing the flesh underneath “They eventually found me, eyes wide, in utter shock for my ie, hiding among the farm equipment. They calmly tld me to come inside for Supper. AS Isat at the Kitchen table, shaking from fear, | started thanking them for saving my fe, and ‘actually, how they hel id they kill that thing so eficienty? And how were they so calm? The older ‘woman handed me a steaming bow full of dark, black almost, ich, deep meat stew that had simmered in wine for hours. As | took my fist spoonful | fet my anxiety washing away. The old ‘woman looked to me, and simply shrugged. 3 pounds Bulette shoulder or neck, cut into 1 Inch pieces 4 onions, thinly sliced “1 pound cured pork, such as bacon or salt pork, ‘cu into" inch matchsticks +2 tablespoons flour =2-cups Auroch stock -3 cups red wine +6 carrots, cut into 1 inch pleces = 3 coves gatlic 1 bundle of herbs, such as thyme, parsley, sage= 2 bay leaves = Salt and pepper 1. Season the chunks of Bulette meat on all ‘ides with salt and pepper. 2. Heat a laige pot over a medium fre. Add the ‘cured pork, cooking and stiting, unt the Dork has rendeted out most oft fat and has become crispy Take out pork and set aside, ‘making sure the the party does not eat all of it before the meals teady. Move the pot directly onto the coals. Add the meat chunks to the pork fat, and seat, until every piece is. \well browned, then set meat chunks aside 3, Add the onions tothe pot. Pull the pot halfway off the fre, and cook the onions until they are soft and just starting to take on ‘some golden color. Add the flour tothe ‘onions and str until the flour smells nut |Add inthe wine, and scrape any brown bits ‘off the bottom ofthe pot. Bring the wine toa boil 4, Return the meat chunks tothe pot along with carrots, datlic, and the bundle of herbs. Add in the sock, and adjust the pots location to ‘maintain a gentle simmer. Let it cook for 23 houts, or until the meat Is fork tender Keep an eye on the pot while i's cooking, and skim away any scum that accumulates on the top with a wooden spoon. Once the meat is tender, remove the bundle of herbs and add the cured pork back to the stew, Serve in warm bowis with some crusty hunks of bread. Make sure to drink up the rest ofthe wine that was used in the cooking, ‘Spring tn Your Step: Consuming this dish gives you the Bulette’s uncanny jumping ably. For the fst 8 hhours after eating you may double the distance you Jap in a standing or running jump. Soupe A la Orc Gratinee This tch and satisfying soup is al about ubiauty. ‘01cs and onions: they can be found almost ‘everywhere. And where there is one, the oth isn't too far aay. These things are so abundant that you may dismiss them as common fare, not worthy of our talents. However, with alte time and cate ~ and some strong Brandy ~ these ‘common, ubiquitous things transform into a deeply noutshing dish. Unfortunately, Orc flesh is tough and stringy, and can often cary dsease, Their brains however, being the least used part of an Orcs body, remain smal, soft, and succulent. They add a fich mineral favor to this already robust soup. You ‘ook the onions down for hours, until they almost 2 melt away. The bread and cheese crouton on top Is pure indulgence, Hest served on araiy day, or I the depths ofa cold tomb. Ths is a meal that ‘warms the stomach and the soul + 2 whole Orc brains, pulverized into a paste +6 tablespoons butter = pounds onions, thinly sliced =i cup Dwarven Brandy +2 sprigs of thyme +1 bay leaf 1 teaspoon vinegar =1 clove garlic <1 pound melty cheese, such as Gnomish “Gruyere, grated +2 quarts Auroch stock 1146 rounds of hard toasted bread “salt and pepper 1. Melt butter in a saucepan over a medium fre ‘until foaming, add all the onions and Orc brains. Cook, stiring occastonaly, until fonions are softened. Move the pan almost all the way off the flame, and cook brains and, onions, sting frequently ntl they take on a very rich golden brown color, 110 2 hours {otal It oaks like the brains and onions wil burn, add a splash of water and scrape up any dark bts with a wooden spoon, 2. Add Dwarven brandy and move pan back to the fe, bringing ittoa simmer, and scraping up any browned bts that may be stuck on the bottom of the pot. Cook until the strong, alcohol smells gone. Add inthe stock, bay feat, and thyme. simmer the liquid for half an hour 3. Add vinegar, and season soup to taste with salt and pepper. Fish out the bay leaf and discard 4. Stoke the fire high. Rub some butter and {atic on the toast rounds. spoon the onion {and brain broth into 4 small clay serving bows, then top withthe toast rounds. Sprinkle a good amount ofthe cheese on {op. Move the bowls close tothe fire to melt the cheese evenly turning the bowls as needed. Move the bowls away from the fre with tongs, or a Mage Hand. Present bowls on cloth towels, as not to burn the hands. The rest of the Dwarven brandy makes for a ‘00d accompanying drink. ‘Aggravated: After eating this dish you are able to summon a surge of adrenaline for a period of time. For one hour you may use your bonus action 10, ‘move up to your movement toward a hostile ‘creature you can see.SAUCES Basilisk Bernaise There's more to take away from an encounter with a Baslsk than a few new statues for your garden, If ‘encountering a nesting Basllsk, make sure to check for their eggs. They ate large, black, have the texture of stone, and above all, are absolutely delicious, You might think that there would be danger in handling such a produc, and you'd be right! While the yoiks are harmless, the whites have ‘paralyzing effect on touch. Make sure to wear heavy leather or steel gloves when cracking open and preparing these eggs. litle bit of contact \wor't be the end of you, but it will eave your hands stiff and unable to prepare the meal. That's faux pas that could run the evening, or worse Yel. the entire adventure! This makes for an easy and elegant sauce it handled and prepared correct I's uses are virtually endless. Itcan be draped over a poached Blece of ish, used as a dip for roasted root vegetables, slathered on a perfectly cooked steak, fr eaten straight from the bow, (we promise not totell. - 2 Basilisk egg yolks, carefully handled as to not paralyze the hands =1/4 cup vinegar +1/2.cup white wine +3 sprigs tarragon, leaves finely minced 3 sprigs chervl, eaves finely minced 1 small shallot, oughly chopped =1/2 teaspoon whole black peppercorns. = 2 tablespoons butter “salt 1. Combine vinegar, wine, herbs, shallots, and black peppercorns in a saucepan. Bring to a simmer over a medium fire, then move hallway off the flame to maintain a gentle simmer. Cook until reduced to about 1 {tablespoon of liquid. Stain the liquid through apiece of fine cloth into a small bow 2. Add Basilisk eg yolks and a pinch of salt to ‘the bow! with the vinegar reduction. Melt the butter in a saucepan, swiling t constantly tnt the foaming subsides. 3. Get your strongest party member and hang them a whisk, Have them start whisking the vinegar and eda mixture very rapidly. While they are whisking, slowly pour the melted butter into the bowl with the egg mixture. if ‘whisking rapidly enough, the butter and eggs should emulsify, Forming a thick and creamy 3 4, Season to taste with salt and serve immediate. Bearnaise cannot be reheated, asthe sauce will break, Serve in any manner described above, but always ‘on waim plates. Serving near any statuary would probably be in bad taste. lastic Skin: Consuming this creature makes you less susceptible to being tured to stone. For one hhour after eating this dish you have advantage on any savings throughs to resist Petifcation. Ifyou do become Peed you may sl anoe Ws effects Beholder Bechamel Bechamet by itself is litle more than a white sauce of butte, flour, and milk. What i ack in favor, i ‘abounds in versatility In fact 1s a sauce that makes other sauces. When cheese Is added, it becomes a Mornay. When sauteed onions are ‘added, It becomes a Soubise. And when Beholder Is added, becomes an adventure! The many staked eyes ofthe Beholder are as dangerous as they are delicious, and | don't envy the party that went through the process of ‘acquiring them. Think ofthis sauce as a Consolation prize; something to eat while you Scoop up the ashes of a fellow adventurer, ot haul their stoned body out ofthe dungeon. The sauce 's surprisingly delicate when prepared correct, ‘and goes well with almost anything. Dolloped on top ofa thick teak, slathered on toasted bread, or served as a communal dp for vegetables; all are ood chotces. 1 cup mashed Beholder eyeball =11/2 tablespoons butter =11/2 tablespoons flour =1.cup milk = Ys teaspoon nutmeg = Salt and pepper 1. Over amedium fre, mek butter in a saucepan, or equally sized helmet, until Foaming subsides. Pour flour into pan and stir until smooth, 2. Constantly whisk the flour and butter miature ‘ver medium heat until the flour takes on a olden, sandy color, and stats to smell nutty. 3. While cooking mitre, heat ik in a Separate pot unt immers. When milk is about to boll, begin gradually pouring i into the butter mixture, whisking continuoushy Until smooth, At the same time have another party member pour in the mashed Beholder eyeball.4. Bing this mature to a boll and cook for 10 minutes, string constantly. Remove from, heat and season with sat, pepper, and nutes. Serve this sauce immediate ast will not hold for long {ye-Bites: This dish can dive you one of several ‘benefits based on which eve was in your serving. ‘Mer eating oll 146.on the chart below to gain: 1. Immunity to Charm effects for 8 hours 2. Immunity Force Damage for 8 hours 4 Immunity to Fear effects for & hours 4, Immunity to Necrotic Damage for 8 hours 5. Gain 2d8+-10 Temporary Hit Points 6. Advantage on all Spell Saves for B hours Dragon Demi Glace The tertor inthe skies, the tyrant wyim, deceiver, destoyer, Dragon! Heralded by some as the king ‘of all monsters, they te to be feared and respected, and in our case, eaten. There are many culinary delights to be had of these massive beasts. Many of them are simple butchers cuts; roass, steaks, and the lke, which we are not doing two cover here. With proper technique, heat, and application of salt, these simple cus are delicacies in their own right. We recommend “snout to Tal: Butchering Large Beasts” by Urqus Fanghat for in depth butchering and cooking instructions of these primal cuts. We are, however, concerning ‘ourseves with the lesse, perhaps the least, used. Patt ofthe Dragon. The bones. To be clear, we are not taking about dried ‘ut, sun bleached bones that have been siting around a templesuin for several millennia, We've talking about the martowsich fresh bones of a Dragon. Fist roasted, then simmered with hearty vegetables and herbs 10 form a rich stock, and finally reduced into a sytupy and extremely meaty sauce. This fs not a fast process, mind you. To get the best results, the stock must be tended and Watched fo at least houts. The outcome, though, vill be as impressive and satisfying as the fight that felled the beast 10 pounds of fresh Adult Dragon bones +3 carots, chopped. *Zonions, chopped 1 human handful of parsiey| 2 sprigs fresh thyme +2 dried bay leaves. water 4 1. Place bones in a lage pan and roast over a hat fe, of nan oven, unt the bones are Well browned. 2. Add carrots and onions to pan, spreading them out evenly among the bones. Roast the bones and vegetables again until everything 's deeply brown, about 45 minutes more. 3. Transfer the bones and vegetables to a large pot over a medium fire. Add 3 cups of water {othe original roasting pan and scrape up any ‘own bits that are stuck othe bottom, Simmer for 3 minutes, then dump the lquld from the pan into the pot withthe bones and vegetables. 4. Add the paisley thyme, and bay leaves to the ot. il the pot with enough water to cover the bones and the vegetables by an inch, 5. Bring the quid to a bare simmer, making sure not to hit rolling boll and maintain the simmer for along time, 810 12 hours. Check {every hour or so to make sure that the bones are covered in water, and add more water as heeded, 6, After 8 to 12 hours, stain the stock through a fine plece of clath set overa large bow Discatd the bones, or give them to your Barbatlan to chew on, 1, Put the clean stock n'a saucepan over a hot fire, and bol, Reduce the stock untl ts thick and sytupv. ‘Spoon generously over red meats and roasted vegetables. Goes exceptionaly well with Dragon steaks or toasts ‘Elemental indigestion: Depending on which Dragon you've been dining on, your body toughens toa certain element. For the fst 8 hours after you eat this dish gain resistance to an ‘element. Consult the chart below to see which ‘element corresponding to the kind of Dragon used In the cooking. Dragon: Damage Type: BlackiCopper Aad Blue/Bionze Lightning Brass/Gold/Red fire Green Poison Siver white ColdAPPETIZERS Couatl Eggs in Aspic We eat with our eyes first, We take in the meal all the colors and shapes and designs. t often let's us know what to expect in a dish long before the food {ets to our mouths. This dish Is all about showing and not telling. The clear asp suspends the tffle and egg, as if they are floating inal, tke a magic wick, The tarragon leaf drapes effortlessh, as iF ‘aust in the blowing wind. Cutting throusth the fich, dense Couatl egg reveals even more. A yolk of deep purple. This isa clean and relatively ight dish. W's meant to wow your duests, and set up the ‘expectations of further courses. Perfect as a Centerpiece appetizer for large groups. 3 tablespoons vinegar + 6 tarragon leaves +1 small black truffle, cut into 6 slices 1. Warm meat gelatin until it takes on alauid sate. Spoon the warm gelatin into 6 round ramekins. Put the ramekins aside 2, Bring 4 quarts of water and the vinegar to a simmer in a saucepan over a medium fe. Gently poach the couatl eggs in the water, then temove and drain them, 3. When the Jelly has just begun to set, layer 1 tarragon leaf and 1 slice oftuffe into each ramekin 4. Carefully puta poached egg into each mold, and spoon over some more warm jelly t fl the ramekin tothe top Store the ramekins in ‘cold place for a few hours, until the gelatin has set Run a knife around the edges of each mold And iui them out to a serving plate. Serve cold, or at room temperature as an appetizer. {Goes nicely with ight apes such as sparkling white wine, ‘rain Food: This dish gives you a sight lightheaded feeling as it makes your thoughts fuzzy o those who would ty to read them. For the ‘next 8 hours after eating you are immune to ‘crying and to any effect that would sense your ‘emotions, ead your thoughts, or detect you location. 5 Myconid Duxelles ‘What's to be done with a mushroom man? He's ‘woody, slimy, and probably full of spores. Most sroups would throw a dead Myconid to the side {and move on, but they would be missing out on a ‘World of favor. Once brain-dead, the spore sec tions of the Myconid absorb into the protein struc ture, tenderizing and seasoning from the inside. ‘This, n turn, makes the Nlesh of the Myconid one ofthe most succulent and rich sources of protein known to modern gastrononw. ‘We make a paste of Mconid meat inthis recipe, which can act asa stuffing for omelettes, a flavor enhancer for soup, a side dish to meat or pouty, oF as a simple garnish. Ifyou want to go all ut, you can slather it over an Auroch tenderloin, ‘wrap with puffpasty, and bake to pink perfection, ‘No matter how itis served, this is arfined delicacy not tobe missed, Ye pound Myconid flesh, woody torsos peeled Of their outer skin, and caps roughly chopped “1 medium shallot, roughly chopped “1 medium clove garlic, roughly chopped +2 tablespoons butter = teaspoon fresh thyme leaves, minced = Ye cup dry white wine, such as Alurlyath *-salt and pepper 1. chop Myconid flesh very fine. 2. Scape chopped meat into a clean plece of doth that you won't mind staining. Twist the cloth around the meat to wring oUt as much liquid as you can 3. Heat a large pan over a moderate fre. Add 1 tablespoon of butter and swt unt fully melted 4. Add Myconid, shallots, garlic a pinch of salt, a pinch of pepper, and allthe thyme tothe pan. 5. Cook stiring frequently until chopped [Myconid appears dry and is beginning 10 brown, 6. Stirin temaining tablespoon of butter and all the wine. Cook, string frequenty unl the wine has mosty evaporated 7. Remove from heat and allow to cool Serve in any manner described above, and preferably outside of the Underdark ‘Burp: For 1 hour after eating, you may use yout action to belch up spores. When you do so, target a Sf area within 30f of you. Any living creatures in that area must succeed on a DC 10 Constitution ‘saving thiow or be incapacitated for 1 minute. The target can repeat the saving throw atthe end of ‘each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a ‘success. Once you have used this abilty you ‘eannot use it again,‘Owlbear Tapenade Every adventurer remembers his other fist ‘Owibear. Somewhere in the woods; I's getting dark, and you've lost the tall. Another day to the north and you think you'l hit the road, but that’s ‘only duessing from the sun. Then, from the ‘omnipresent green thicket, you hear a “hoot” and "roar" simukaneousl. A hunry momma Owibear is upon you, looking for an easy dinner. And it you're reading this right now, you came out on the Winning side ofthat encounter. nd chances are that there is a huge ple of Owibear meat in front of you. You can take many succulent, meaty cuts from an Owibear carcass. Most of which take minimal butchering, and with the help of salt, heat, and time, can produice satisfying meals on thelr ‘own, But ke our Dragon Demi Glace recipe, we are not focusing on them. We instead turn our ‘alinary eye to the oft netected pats of the beast, the parts that don't make for quick steaks or roasts. In this case, the iver of the Owlbear. I's rch, tasting of minerals and iron, and ver fatty. When Pounded in a mortar and pestle with briney capers, ‘lives, and preserved fish, It makes for a salty ‘savory appetizer that will ight up the taste-buds of your party. As it requltes no cooking, this isthe Ideal quick snack fora group that's onthesoad, ‘Make sute to have plenty of bread or hardtack because this wil go Fast! = Owbbear liner, removed of veins and blood Ys pound olives <1 cup capers 2 ounces salty, preserved Nish, such as anchovies +4 teaspoons mixed herbs, such as thyme, ‘oregano, and marjoram +2 teaspoons strong mustard Oil, as needed 1. Roughly chop capers, olives, anchovies, and ‘Owibear liver. Ad them allo a lange mortar and pestle. Have your strongest party ‘member crush and smash the ingredients to fine paste with the pestle 2, Add the herbs and mustard to the mortar and ‘mix thorough, 3, While moving the pestle ina vigorous mixing ‘motion, slowly add oll to emulsify the mixture. ‘Once the misture forms a thick spread, siop adding ol ‘Scoop out Tapenade into a handsome dish, and ‘serve with toasted bread points, coasted root vegetables, or if you're really desperate, hardtack Primal Senses: After eating this dish you will often find that your pupils expand and nostils fare. for 1 hhour you have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) ‘checks that ely on sight or sme!ENTREES AND LUNCHEON DISHES Caclo e Pixie \We all have late night go-o's, and this, dear reader, is undoubtedly mine. Almost every ingredient in {his tecpe is mercifully long lasting, takes min utes to put together and i's effortlessly hxurious, Dried Phe wings are one of those ingredients | wish more adventures had on them. When property dried, they have a near infinite shel life. 7S not necessarily an ingredient that demands the life of the Pixie, as the monster grows them backat a pretty rapid rate; to what degree it causes the Pixie mental or physical harm is unknown to me. And the flavor that it brings, even when applied in small doses, fs, well, Magical n this dish, we see it in full force. Toasted In butter and Dresented asa spicy, vibrant cut through the tichness of the cheese. If you must, you can serve this up in bowls for your whole party, but really, after a hard day of monster slaying, Ike ths best With everyone huddled around the table, eating Staight out ofthe pan, 1 tablespoon dried Pie wings, freshly ground +2 servings of long pasta or noodles 3 tablespoons butter +1 cup hard, aged cheese, finely grated water salt 1. Bring a large pot full of water to a boll over a raging ite. Season the water with salt. Add pasta, and cook, sting occasionally, until Just under al dente. Drain, and reserve % cup of the cooking wate. 2. Melt butter ina large pan over a medium fe. |Add the the ground Pile wings, and cook, ‘ting the pan, unl toasted. 3. Add the reserved pasta water to the pan and bring to a simmer. Add the drained pasta to the pan. Pull the pan almost completely of, the fire and add the cheese, sting and tossing with tongs ntl the cheese fs melted, and a silky sauce forms. Serve in warm bowls, or just eat out ofthe pan. We ‘wont tell anyone. Disappear: For the first 10 minutes after eating, as ‘a bonus action, you can magically turn invisible Until the start of your next turn or until you attack, ‘make a damage rol, o force someone to make a saving throw, Once you use this ability you cannot use it asain, 7 Chuul Paella There's a large fat iron pan fll of rice and Chuul sizzling over an open fire. The sun Is setting. You hunker back into your sea, cup of wine in hand. Out of the dungeon, out of harm, back with Friends, Time to eat! Nothing says conmadery and tory over tertiyingly large lobster creatures lke this communal dish, The key to mastering this dish Is in not ‘overcooking the Chuul. When raw, the flesh of the ‘Chuul is slippery and almost tanslucent. When heats anpled, i quickly turns pink and opaque, {and that I exact when you should take the pan Off the heat, nota moment later. Overcooked ‘Chuul can be chalky and tough, ruining what should be a relaxing meal 2 pounds raw Chuul, shelled and deveined, ‘chopped into ¥s inch pieces. +8 tablespoons butter 1 onion, finely chopped = cup mushrooms, sliced 1 green bell pepper, finely chopped 11/4 cups raw tice =1/2 teaspoon nutmeg += teaspoon salt +1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper = 1.cup dy white wine +3 cups hot Cockatrice stock, oF water +2 tablespoons chopped parsley + teaspoon thyme +1 bay leaf 1, Melt butter in a large iron sklet over a hot fie until foaming subsides. Add onion, mushrooms, green pepper, rice, nutmeg, salt, and pepper to butter, and cook, sting unt Tice Is golden brown. 2. Add the wine and simmer fve minutes. Add the stock, parsley, thyme and bay leaf. over skillet and cook, sting occasional, until fs tender and has absorbed almost all the liquid. Add more stock or water as needed if the rice threatens to dry out 4 Stirthe Chuul into the rice and simmer just. tnt the flesh turns pink and opaque. 4. Remove the bay leaf and serve Immediateh, ‘Serve itn the middle ofa lage table with plenty of bread and wine to pass around. Lobster Sense: This dsh gives you a sight buzzed feeling as you gain a kind of sith sense. For the fist hou ater eating you sain the ability to ‘Sense magic within 30 feet of you at wil. This ability Works lke the detect magic spell But isn't itself magicalGoblin Thermidor The Goblin is a pitiful ceature. shortived, dumb, dirty, nd ugly. Some may be less than hostile, of ‘even fiendl, but usualy they end up bleeding out ‘on the end of your sword. And after you've saved the Blacksmith’s daughter, grabbed the stolen holy relic, secured the tomb, you'te standing knee deep in Goblin viscera, without an idea of what to do With all these bodies. Much lke Orcs, the meat i, unfortunately, mostly useless. I's stingy fatty, and Drone to disease. But also lke Ores, the brain of a Goblin is small and tender. There is also a Surprising amount of tender meat clinging to the ‘skull. With a spoon, and alte bit of elbow grease, this meat Is all outs forthe taking. In this tecpe we make a festive ~ faite shocking = presentation of the Goblin head. We saute the brain and head-meat wth earthy mushrooms, and suspend the misture in arch ‘custard of es, cream, and stron Dwarven brandy, Using the skulthaWves ike howls, we bro the meats toa rich golden brown. Defeating the towns Goblin menace fs one thing. Presenting the monsters as an opulent and delicious meal after the battle fs another thing entirely. You're sure to impress the Townmaster wth this dish. Budding polticians take note. -210 4 fresh Goblin heads, removed of hair, ‘eyes, and scrubbed of any dirt 4 tablespoons butter + Ye pound mushrooms, thinly sticed = teaspoon paprika + Teaspoon salt = 1 teaspoon black pepper 2 tablespoons Dwarven brandy 1 cup cream -2.e98 yolks 1. Drop Goblin heads into a large pot of salted boiling water. Cover pot and cook heads ata simmer for about 10 minutes. Remove heads from water with tongs, or a Mage Hand, and set aside to cool 2. When the heads are cool enough to handle, ‘move them fo a large culting board. Using a large bladed weapon, ot a heavy cleaver, bisect the Goblin head right between the eves, pushing in a single forceful movement to crack the skull in half. Scoop out all the brains, and scrape all the meat from the two hhalves ofthe skull with a spoon. Chop athe the brains and meat ito Y inch pieces and set aside 3. Heat butter in a saucepan over a medium fre ‘unt foaming subsides. Then add ‘mushrooms, stiing frequently until ‘mushrooms begin to brown. Add Goblin ‘meat, paprika, salt, and pepper to the saucepan, and move almost all the way off, the fie. Add Dvvarven brandy, and a half of the cream tothe pot, and simmer for 5 ‘minutes, 4. Iva small bow, whisk together egg yolks and femaining cream. Transfer eggs and cream to a smal pot and cook over low hea, whisking Constant, unt the mixture thickens slight, but does not set or burn. Gent stir egg Custaid into Goblin meat mixture. 5. Asrange Goblin heads, cut side up, ina large pan of a baking sheet. Spoon the Goblin ‘meat and custard mixture into the skull halts ‘nti just over the ede. Brol the skulls in a hot oven, oF around a raging fire, turning to {et even browning, unl the meat takes on a olden brown coor ‘Serve on a plate festooned with greens, one-half Goblin head per ques. [Nimbleness: This dish gives you a strange sense of. ‘energy, lke drinking too much coffee. For 10 minutes after eating can take the Disengage ot Hide action as a bonus action on each of your tums. lithid Persillade ‘The Underdark isn'ta very festve or happy place. 1's crawiing with otherworldly abominations, over frown with deadly mushrooms, and pited with ‘teacherous ravines. And, if your'e particularly unlucky, you might stumble upon Mindfayers. The Ithid species is allen, and practically unknowable ‘While scholars and wizards debate the origin of these horrible beasts, far from the danger of act- ually fighting one, the average adventurer needs to know only one thing of the Mingfayer. They will suck out your brains. Ifyou have the misfortune to come across these beings, and if you have the luck of besting ‘them in combat, then you can make this dish. The Upside, and perhaps the only upside, to encounter. Ing itthid is that you can dine on their numerous tentacles. | don’t know, of envy, the person who fist ed eating them, but we can thank them for ‘making that daring culinary journey for us. Because, as It twins out, they actualy taste very ood! And in this recipe, we light fy them, and Pair them with some very fresh and light Ingredients. This meal can rip you out of the doldrums of traveling the Underdark. I only For a Hite white,1 pound of ilithid tentacles, sliced into % inch coins | ‘Ye cup mayonnaise +3 cups olf 1 whole head of gatic +6 tablespoons flour Juice and zest from ¥ a lemon "ve bunch of parsley, finely chopped salt 1. Heat an oven to a medium heat. Cut the top off the head af gatic, and place n the center fof the oven. Roast for 1 hour, then allow to ool, Squeeze out the roasted gare cloves Into a bowl and mash together with the mayonaise. Set galic mayo aside. 2. Inallarge bow, toss the siced ith tentacles withthe flour and sal 0 coat. There should be enough sme remaining on the tentacles forthe dry ingredients to stick 3, Heat the oll in a large pan over a moderate fie until the oll shimmers. Remove the tentacle slices from the flour and shake off any extiasil clinging on. Carefully drop the Slices into the hot ol ry, moving them about vith tongs, unt crisp and golden, about 3 minutes. Quickly move the tentace slices to a plece of clean cloth to drain. Do not overcook ‘them, or they will become chew. 4, Toss the ried ithid tentacles with the juice and zest of the lemon, and allthe parse. Serve the fred ilthid tentacles ona large com munal plate alongside the garlic mayo, Dip the tentacle sices in the mayo before eating, Pairs well with a dry white wine. “Transferable Migrain: For one hour after eating you are able to emit psychic energy ina 154001 ‘cone. Fach creature in that area must succeed on a DC 12 Intelligence saving throw or take 108 psychic damage and be stunned until the stat of your next ae Kobold Katsu Visiting the eastern islands is a sensory journey unlike almost anything else. i's a near constant bombardment of colorful dess, intricate customs, towering buildings, and food. Some of the most iniicatel, delicately prepared food from any commer ‘of the world. I's kel that your head will spin during your Mist few days here. it will seem that there is no escape to the breakneck pace at which your senses are fring. But want you to do one: thing. | want you to slow down. Stop. Look to your left and right. Chances are, you'll see a long line of 9 locals snaking outside some place without a name, You might see them carrying away some simple, even banal looking, fied cut of meat. You don't know it yet, but you want that meat, You need it, in Fact, Get in that line, et that fied cut of Kobold, eat it, and all ofa sudden the word will sow down, ‘and not seem so hectic Unlike Goblins and Orcs, Kobold meat is almost universally safe to eat. The problem is that I's prety scarce. Kobolds ae often emaciated ‘creatures, and small in siz. Luckll for us, they are usually felled In large packs. The best place to take the meat i from the legs or the tal, where tis ‘most abundant. In this recipe, we pound the meat ‘thin, soit will cook quick, and remain tender. This Is asic tavern food, best eaten with plenty of beet, and plenty of friends. 2 pounds Kobold meat, cut from the legs or the tall, divided imo 6 ounce steaks 1 cup flour = 3 edgs, lightly beaten = cups bread crumbs +3-cups olf salt + Your favorite sweet barbeque sauce 1. Pound the Kobold steaks with a flat ‘warhammer Into Inch thick cutlets. Season them on both sides with salt, 2. Place the ess, flour, and bread crumbs in 3 Separate dishes, and season each of them light with salt 3. Dredge 1 plece of Kobold inthe flour, then dip in the eg, then place inthe bread ‘crumbs, and press on them to help the crumbs adhere. Set aside, and repeat with the remaining Kobold cutlets. 4. Heat olin a large pan over a hot fre uni the ollis shimmering, Carefully place the Kobold Cutlets in the hot of, and fry until golden and {rispy on both sides, about 3 minutes per side. Remove the cutlets to cloth to drain Cut the Kobold cutlets into 's inch strips, and serve ‘ith plenty of barbeque sauce and light beer. ‘Cunning and Dim: This dish can give you a sense ‘of heightened coordination but unfortunately ‘also makes you quite sensitive to ight. For 10. minutes after eating this dish you have advantage ‘on an attack oll against a creature if at least one of Your alesis within 5 feet of the creature and the: ally int incapacitated. For 10 minutes after eating, ‘while in sunlight, you have disadvantage on attack rolls, as wellas on Wisdom (Perception) checks ‘that rely on sight.Nothic Gnocchi Every chef wishes they could read the minds of thelr quests: what they think of the food, f theyre having a good time or not, whether or not they might skip out on the check. This ustc litle dish makes that desite a realty by employing the powers of the sinister and bizzare eye of a Nothc. Punishment for dabbling in the darkest arcane secrets might mean alife of hell for one person, but it means culinary bis for us. Tis dish requies strong hands and strong intuition. Like making any kind of pasta you'e likely to messi up the fist few times you ty. Don't let this discourage you. Practice makes perfect, and the forbidden knowledge of The Vold makes for tasty gnocchi. A few simple Ingredients and alot of perseverance tuins into a hearty meal that wil fil your party's stomachs and opens their minds to the unknown, = Nothic eyeball, beaten and whipped untit runny ike an egg 3 pounds potatoes, scrubbed and pierced all ‘over with a fork 3/4 cup flour, plus more for dusting as needed +8 tablespoons butter + Leaves from 1 large sprig of fresh sage “salt Hard, aged cheese, for serving 1. Iman oven, ora covered pot over a hot fire, roast potatoes for about an hour, or unt completely tender throughout when pierced with a fork, Cut potatoes in half once fully cooked. 2. Using a spoon, scoop the the potato flesh onto a clean Work surface. Mash the potato flesh with your hands while stil warm, and spread into an even layer 3. Drizzle the beaten Nothc eyeball over the layer of potato, Dust the potato and eyeball with #4 cup ofthe flout 4. Using a dull dagger, cut down into the flour, eyeball, and potato, scooping up the mixture into isel, and cutting down again. Repeat this process unl the mixture has just come together, buts stil shaggy. Dust the dough with remaining Y4 cup of flout. Begin to genth fold and press the dough out ke you would a bread dough. Continue until the dough has no raw flout remaining, Rll the entire dough into a long snake shape, roughiy Ys inch thick. 6, Using a knife, cut the dough-snake into 1 inch portions 2. Bring a large pot of sated water toa boll. Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium 10 9. Add the gnocchi tothe boiling water and stir ‘gently to make sure they don't stick together. ‘Once the gnocchi begin to float on top of the water they are done, Remove gnocchi with a spoon, and move them direct into the saucepan with the butter and sas. 10, Cook the gnocchi in the sage butler, tossing gent, unl every litle dumpling is coated in the butter Plate in warm bows with cheese grated over. Serve Immediately, and ty not to judge your party by ‘what you might find out about them. Insightful Gut For the fst hour after eating you may use your action to magically learn one secret ‘fact about an intelligent cteature you can see. If the creature fs Immune to heing charmed they ‘cannot be affected by this abilty. Once you have used this ability you cannot use it again Ragu alla Rothe | don’t miss much about the cold, snowy North, ‘The winters are long and brutal. The people are shorttempered. But there is one thing, a sauce, that has weaseled i's way into my mind and never left. dream about this ragu the same way people dream of gold. I's arch, unbelievably meaty sauce ‘that's only made when the days are at their coldest ‘and darkest. I's a bastion against the unending tide of bleak misery. I's cooked slow and low for hhouts. When it's finally done, your diners will look 10 one another with an acknowledgement that there's sila lite bit of hope in this world. Yes, some siow-cooked Rothe meat can do this. ust =3 pounds Rothe spare ribs (about 1/3 large rack), cut Into three chunks 2 pounds Rothe shoulder, cut into 24nch strips +1/2.cup oll, divided = onion, finely chopped +8 cloves garlic, fnely minced,aivided =1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes +1 teaspoon dried oregano *2.cups ted wine. Table wine is fine 2 pounds whole peeled tomatoes crushed by hand in a large bow! = bunch fresh basil “1 pound mild Auroch sausage, n the casings = 8 0 10 servings of pasta + Grated cheese, for serving1. Season ribs with sat and pepper. Heat 2 " tablespoons of olin a large iton pot over a raging fie until shimmering. Add tbs to the pot and cook without moving until well browned. flip and cook until the second side Isalso well browned. Remove nibs to a plate. Repeat browning process with Rothe shoulder, then add shoulder to plate withthe ribs. 2, ‘Add onions to a now empty pot and cook, Scraping up any browned bits and sting, Lunt the onions just begin to brown. Don't fet 100 much color on them. Add garlic and ook unt fragrant. Add pepper fakes, ftegano, and wine. Cook unl the wine has almost evaporated. Add tomatoes and basil to ‘the pot Return the ribs and shoulder to the pot and bring it all toa simmer 3. Cover the pot slightly witha lid or equally sized shield. Move the pot halfway oul of the fite, oF until the sauce just barely simmering. Cook, stirring occasional, until the rb bones can be easly pulled from the ‘meat, hours of mote. Add sausages and Continue cooking for 30 minutes. 4, tthe panty Is partculaty ravenous, the ragu can be setved now in bowls, the meat divided evenly. OF, if you want this to be a proper meal, continue to step 5 Remave bones from the ribs, discard basil Spgs from the sauce, roughiy shred the shoulder meat with two Forks, slice the sausages into rounds, and return allthe meat back tothe sauce. Addin remaining ol. and season ta taste with salt and peppet. 6. Cook pasta in a pot of boiling water until just aldente, then drain. Return the pasta to the Pot you ust cooked it in and add haf of the ragu and a handful of arated cheese. Cook and stir the pasta rigorously over high heat tnt the sauce clings to the pasta, and it looks almost too good to eat Serve in warm bows with plenty of bread for ‘mopping up all that wonderful sauce atthe end. ‘Hearty: This dish gives your body the natural Insulation ofthe Rothe. For eight hours after eating You ignore the effects of cold weather. However, ‘Sources of cold strong enough to deal damage stl effect you in the same way. Sahuagin Nicoise Nothing Says “Summer” like spending long ‘afternoons at the seaside, basking inthe intense Sunlight, and fending off violent fish people. And after you've vanguished your fishy foes, while the last ofthe ight goes tipping over the horizon, stoke up the fre and prepare this ibrant seasonal salad ‘This dish makes use of thick, buttery cuts of ‘Sahuagin, bright seasonal vegetables, and stout barley ina simple celebration of Summer on a plate. I's a dish that your party won't soon fore ‘and one theylikely request all season long. that ‘upto the beachside Sahuagin nest might just become a yearly soiree! 8 Sahuagin steaks, cut from the tall or the neck. #1 Ys cups cooked peat barley = % pound green beans, rimmed = 2.cups tomatoes, quartered 1 cup olives, pitted and halved = onlon, sliced = cup oll + Juice of one fresh temon += tablespoon fresh thyme, chopped +3 cloves gatlc, minced +4 bell peppers of various colar, thinly sliced, + Lemon wedges for serving 1. Boil green beans in a lage pot of water until tender. Dain 2. Add boiled green beans, barley, tomatoes, lives, onion, ¥s cup of el, lemon juice, and thyme to a lage bowl. Toss to combine 3, Whisk garlic and remaining oil n a separate bowl. Ad Sahuagia steaks and turn to coat in the oll Remove steaks and set aside, Toss peppers in oll mixture, and set those aside. ‘Season both Sahuagin and peppers with salt and pepper. 4. Place a large pan over a hot fre, Place steaks. and peppers inthe hot pan and sear until Sahuastn s opaque inthe center and peppers begin to blacken. 5. Divide the barley and green bean salad among plates. Top withthe Sahuagin steaks ‘Serve with lemon wedges and a dry wine, Dieferably on a beach, ‘Green Around The Gils: This dish came make your ‘throat a bt sore as it can cause small gist form fora short time. for 1 hour afer eating you gan ‘the abiltyto breath both water and alrStirge Soubise Not every meal in an adventure’ fe has to be, oF should be, eaten hunched over a campfire, rnervousy scarfed dawn between Ist and 2nd watch. Moreover, not every meal eaten in own has to be atankard of warm ale and some sorty hunk ‘of mutton that’s probably been left out too long. | advise that you should, when you can, cook a meat {or your companions in a relaxed, mote intimate setting. It will do wonders for morale. And maybe you're looking to impress that certain Bard who's been plucking at your heartstrings. This simple but elegant dish takes that annoying lite blood-sucking beast, the Surge, and {urns It into meal worth remembering. {Butchering note: Be careful when removing the blood sac ftom the Stir. You never know what vas feeding on before you. Nothing ruins a omantic meal faster than having acidic blood eat ‘through your breastplate.) One large Stine, 4-5 pounds + 3 tablespoons butte, 1 tablespoon softened *Zonions, thinly siced =11/2 cups cream 1 teaspoon Elven spice mix + Salt and Pepper 1. Stoke an oven to high heat. Using a sharp dagger, or blacksmiths sheats, remove the spine and wings from the stige and reserve them for another use (such as Site stock) Flaten the stirge by placing It skin side up on €& cuting board and applying fm pressure to the breast bone. Season with salt and pepper ‘on both sides. 2, Place sie, beast side up, inthe center of a flat stone slab or baking sheet. Side into the middle of the oven and roast for 20 minutes, Remove and rub the skin all over with 1 tablespoon softened butte. Return tothe ‘ven and cook until the juice in the thickest part ofthe breast runs clear when jabbed with a knife, about 25 t0 45 minutes longer, 3. Meanwhile, in a small pot or equal sized helmet, mel the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter on the oven-iop unl foaming. Add the onions and cook, string frequent, until softened and most liquid has evaporated, about 20 minutes, sti in the cream and Simmer for 5 minutes, 44, Remave hot onions and cream from the heat ‘Add Elven spice mix, and whisk rapidly for 5 ‘minutes until a smooth sauce forms, Tis is quite the workout, so the largest and Strongest member of your party should probably handle it R 5. (Optional Ifyou ae tying to impress a cettain someone with this meal, ake the extra step of passing tis sauce through a plece of cheesecioth, Working over a bow, Dress the solids with the back of a spoon {through the cloth, The result wll be a sauce with a more refined and luurious texture 6. Retuin anion sauce to pot or helm and season with salt and pepper. Keep warm until Stirge is ready ‘Carve the strge Into quarters and generously spoon over sauce, Serve with greens and bread, ‘Bad Blood: This dish makes your blood become toxic to most creatures who would want to feed on It For 8 hours after eating any creature attempting 1 drain your blood must succeed on a DC 12 Constitution saving throw. On a failure they are tunable to feed on you with any of their abies.Check out some of our other products! $0.95! Pwyw! KCN: NAL ENHANCEMENTS FURIE METAMAGIC