‘Jessie! Breakfast!” ‘Mum, I'm in a hurry’ I yelled from my bedroom. “You can’t go to work onan empty stomach.’ Mum, bustled out of the kitchen carrying a plate of bread and butter, as I ran down the stairs. Behind her Pinky, was rushing about in her uniform, moaning that she couldn’t find her keys. She’s a rep on the Avis car rental desk at Heathrow, and she's always late. ‘No, I've got to go, Mum,’ I said firmly, waving the food away. ‘Bye.’ I wanted to be well away from the house before Pinky left for work. I slammed the front door behind me, and hurried over to the flower border at the side of the path. I pulled out my sports bag, which I'd hidden there the night before, then legged it. Id been doing this for about a week now. Mum, Dad and Pinky thought I was working at HMV. Instead, I was at the Harriers ground. I felt really bad about lying —as well as scared stiff that someone would see me somewhere they shouldn’t. I kept telling myself it wasn’t like | was doing anything 4wrong. I mean, I wasn’t going around doing drugs or getting pregnant or shoplifting or anything. 1 was just playing football, trying to get better at something I was already good at. ‘And I 1as getting better. Joe was such a brilliant coach, it was impossible not to learn from him. He spent a lot of time with me and Jules, working on our partnership and teaching us one-two moves that we could use on the pitch. He worked us pretty hard, but the three of us had a good laugh too. The more we trained together, the more I liked him. Jules was always flirting with him, and staring at him when we were training, Joe would've been blind not to notice, but he never gave any sign that he had. Lwondered if he fancied her too. I couldn't tell. Still, it wasn’t really any of my business - ‘The day our first match of the summer tournament against Chiswick came round, 1 felt nervous, but 1 couldn’t wait to get out on to the pitch. This wasn’t like playing in the park, or the games in our training sessions. This was the real thing. “All right, Jess?” Joe asked me quietly as we filed out of the changing-rooms. I blushed, and Jules, who was just ahead of me, 2 turned round curiously to look at us. Don’t ask me why I went red, I don’t know ~ I just did. ‘Yeah, no problem,’ I muttered. ‘OK, go out there and do your stuff, Joe said, and turned away. And, suddenly, when I was out on the pitch, everything seemed to come together. Joining the Harriers had been the best thing in my whole life so far, and I'd loved the training sessions, pushing myself harder and getting better and better. But out on the pitch, playing a real game, was what it was all about. Adrenaline raced through me as the ball was placed in the centre circle, ready for the kick-off. I was up for this, and I was going to do my best. Mel was right. Chiswick had a great defence, and it took us a while to break them down. About halfway through the second half, Jules slotted the ball through to me, opening up a gap between two defenders. I ran through and banged the ball into the net. One-nil. "Yes! I yelled. My first goal in a proper, real-life match! I was so excited, I cartwheeled across the pitch and finished off with a back-flip. As the other girls rushed to congratulate me, [looked over at Joe. He was grinning at me, and I glowed with pride. BBy the time we'd won the match two-nil, with another goal from Mel, I knew that there was no going back. I couldn't give this up. Even if T did have to lie to keep on playing. ‘After that, I began to relax a bit, and the days settled into a routine. Most mornings I'd get up, collect my sports bag from behind the bush, and dash off to training, Afterwards I'd give my dirty kit to Jules, and she'd take it home to wash. The team were still playing in the first few rounds of the tournament, and we had several more matches. We won them all, and L either scored myself, or managed to set up goals for Jules or one of the others. When we had evening games, it was more difficult for me to get away, though — I had to tell Mum I was doing overtime at work. Luckily no-one at home seemed to notice that I was just as skint now as I when [ started my ‘summer job’! Iwas getting on better with Mum too, because I'd agreed to learn how to cook. She wasn't too pleased, though, when she saw me practising my ball skills with a potato when we were cooking aloo gobi. I just couldn't help it. Football was consuming my life. But everything seemed to be going brilliantly. My “4 parents were happy, the team was happy ~ I was happy. It was perfect. You know what? It couldn't last. A few weeks later, I was in the changing-rooms, getting dressed after a training session. I'd kind of got used to getting changed in front of the others now, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable sitting there in my sports bra and shorts next to Jules, while I took off my boots. ‘Is that right then, Jess?’ Charlie, the goalie, asked me as she towelled her hair dry. ‘Your parents have no idea you've been playing all this time?’ I shrugged. ‘Nah, they haven't.’ Now that I felt more comfortable around the other girls, I'd let them, in on my little secret. “Where do they think you are, then?’ Mel asked. _‘At work: pulled off one of my boots. 'They think ve got a summer job at HMV.’ ‘Blimey.’ Mel looked a bit startled, ‘That's not on.’ ‘Indian girls aren’t supposed to play football,’ 1 explained helpfully. ‘That's a bit backward, innit?’ Mel remarked, picking up her towel.‘Yeah, but it ain’t just an Indian thing, is it?” Jules cut in. ‘I mean, how many people come out to support us?” Mel ignored her and grinned at me. 'So, are you, like, promised to someone, then?” ‘Nah; I said, looking alarmed. All the other girls in the changing-room were listening now too. ‘No way. My sister’s getting married soon, but that’s a love match.’ “What's that mean?” “It’s not arranged,’ I replied. So, if you can choose,’ Charlie said, looking interested, ‘can you marry a white boy?” Ishook my head. ‘White, no. Black, definitely not. Muslim—’ I drew my finger across my throat. Mel and the others looked shocked. So you'll probably marry an Indian boy, then?” Jules asked, packing our kit away in her sports bag. ‘Probably.’ Mel was shaking her head. ‘I don’t know how you put up with it’ I shrugged. ‘It’s just my culture, that’s all,’ 1 said defensively. ‘Anyway, it’s better than sleeping around with boys you're not going to end up marrying, What's the point in that?’ 6 They all burst out laughing. ‘That's the best bit!’ giggled Sally, one of our defenders. “Yeah, you should know,’ Charlie retorted. They all laughed even harder. I turned pink, and bent over to do up my trainers. ‘When are you going to get some decent boots, Jess? Jules asked, as we went outside. ‘You want some Adidas ones like mine. They're especially made for women.’ ‘They look a bit pricey,’ I said doubtfully, but 1 was thinking hard. If I was going to take my game seriously, [really should get some new boots. At the ‘moment, I was still using the tatty ones Joe had given me. There must be a way I could get the money for some new ones... I headed for home, dumped my bag in the flower border as usual and went inside. Mum was sitting on the sofa. She was doing some sewing and watching a Hindi film with Amitabh Bachchan, her favourite actor. I was knackered, and dying for something to eat. ‘Mum, I said in my sweetest voice, ‘I'm really starving. I had to work all through my lunch hour today’Mum had been fussing around me ever since T started my ‘summer job’ so 1 was hoping she’d get up and make a meal. Instead, she just stared at me. ‘Where's Pinky?’ she asked, looking over my shoulder at the front door. ‘She went to HMV to pick you up, so you wouldn't be late for Poli. She's coming to measure you for the wedding suits.” My stomach flipped over, and my heart began to pound. It was so loud, I was surprised Mum couldn't hear it. I was desperately trying to think of an explanation which would cover me, when the front door opened. Total panic. I looked round as Pinky came in, looking pissed off. She gave me a filthy look, and | gulped. Was she going to give me away? FIVE I stared pleadingly at Pinky, as she shut the front door. If she told Mum I hadn't been working at HMV at all, Iwas going to be in big trouble. No, wipe that ~ HUGE trouble. They'd probably never let me set foot outside the house again. “Pinky, why didn’t you pick your sister up from work?’ Mum asked, rolling up her sewing, ‘Lwent, but the manager said I'd just missed her,’ Pinky replied, staring hard at me. Id been holding my breath, and now I let it out with a sigh of relief. I was safe ~ for the moment. “Poli’s on her way’ Mum got up from the sofa. ‘I'l make you girls some tea.’ Pinky waited till Mum had gone into the kitchen, then she grabbed my arm, dragged me off the sofa, and hustled me into the comer of the room, as far away from Mum as she could get. ‘All right,’ she whispered eagerly. ‘Who is he, then?” Iooked blank. I'd been expecting her to have a go at me. ‘Who?’‘You must think I’m stupid or something,’ Pinky snapped. ‘I know what you're up to, lying about a summer job!" ‘You can’t say anything to Mum and Dad,’ T gabled, panicking all over again. ‘Remember, | kept Teets a secret for you.’ Pinky suddenly looked worried. ‘He's not a Muslim, is he?” Ishook my head. ‘Ssh! Nothing like that. I’ve been playing football with a women’s team.’ Pinky’s eyes widened, and she looked at me as if Iwas mad. ‘It’s worse than I thought,’ she muttered. “Ws a proper tournament,’ | explained. ‘They're real matches.’ Pinky grabbed my arm again, ‘What's trong with you, Jess?” she hissed, looking completely puzzled. ‘If you're gonna go to all this bother lying, at least do it for something good! Don't you want a boyfriend like everyone else?” Isighed, rolling my eyes. Why was itso impossible for her to understand? ‘You know, you're quite pretty,’ Pinky went on, studying my face intently. ‘If you just did something with your hair and put a bit of make-up on, you'd look all right” 50. ‘Leave her alone, Pinky.’ We both jumped as Mum came in with two mugs of tea. ‘Inever put make-up on till after I was married. Jessie’s a good girl now.’ She beamed at me. ‘She helped me to wash all the net curtains, and she made lovely aloo gobi last week.’ Tsmiled back at Mum, feeling a bit guilty. Luckily, Poli arrived just then, which got Pinky off my case, She would never understand why I was going behind Mum and Dad’s back to play football, and there wasn’t any point in me trying to explain it to her. Just as long as she kept my secret. And it looked as if she was going to, thank God. Poli was the seamstress who made most of our Indian clothes. She bustled round, unpacking her tape measure and chatting to Mum in Punjabi. Pinky stood up to be measured first, while I sat thinking about how I could get my hands on some new football boots. I had a bit of money, but not enough for the Adidas ones. “Waist, 25 inches,’ Poli muttered, wrapping the tape measure round Pinky. ‘Under bust, 28 inches. Bust— Pinky grabbed hold of the tape measure and pulled it tighter. Mum frowned at her. ‘No, that's too tight and too rude,’ she complained. 51’Nah, Mum,’ Pinky argued. ‘I want my sari blouse mote fitted. That's the style, innit?’ ‘OK. Poli pulled the tape measure tighter. ‘Bust, 34 and a half.’ ‘Tighter,’ Pinky whispered. ‘And how are you going to breathe?” Mum snapped. I was my turn. I dragged myself up reluctantly from the sofa. ‘Mum, I can wear the same suit all day/ Imoaned. ‘Why do [have to wear a sari for the reception? It'll just fall down.’ “Your first sari is for when you become a woman,’ Mum retorted. ‘Poli, she needs a sari blouse and petticoat,’ Poli started measuring me. ‘Bust, 31 inches— ‘No, that’s too tight,’ I said quickly. ‘I want it looser.’ Mum snorted. ‘Dressed in a sack, who's going to notice you?” “Don't worry,’ Poli said. ‘In one of our designs, even these mosquito bites will look like juicy-juicy mangoes!’ The three of them burst out laughing, while I pulled a face, But an idea had suddenly popped into my head... 52 ‘Mum,’ I began innocently, ‘I'll need to buy different shoes, then. One pair to go with the sari and the other to go with my suit” ‘What?’ Pinky said, looking stunned. Mum turned to her. ‘You see, she’s coming into line’ she murmured approvingly. ‘Ican pay for one pair myself out of my wages,’ I went on hopefully, ‘but could you give me some money for the other pair?’ Mum beamed and nodded. ‘You need one black pair and one white to go with everything,’ She, Pinky and Poli looked delightedly at me. What they didn't know was that I was planning to spend almost all the money on football boots - and they definitely wouldn’t go with my new suit or my sari... “Those are the ones, Jess!’ Jules said gleefully, looking down at the pair of black, white and red Adidas Predators I was holding. I nodded, excitement welling up inside me. We were in Soccer Scene in Carnaby Street. We'd gone to Hounslow Central and caught the tube into the West End after training, so that I could buy myself some boots. Now, as I tried them on, I was 53beginning to feel like a real player at last. ‘OK, I'll take them, | said at last. I handed over the money, then took the precious bag. I couldn’t stop peeking inside at them. My very own pair of flash football boots! ‘Where shall we go now?’ L asked, as we came out of the shop. ‘Haven't you got to buy some shoes for the wedding?’ Jules reminded me. I pulled a face. ‘Yeah, but I've only got fifteen quid left.’ The boots had been more expensive than I'd thought. “What about that place over there?’ Jules pointed at a nearby shop called Stylish Shoes. ‘That looks cheap and nasty.’ "Thanks a lot!’ I laughed. It was cheap. T got a pair of black loafers for £13.99. That should shut Mum up, I thought with satisfaction as we left the shop. Now I just had to make sure I kept my new boots out of her way. ‘I don’t really want to go home yet/ Jules said, as we headed back through the side streets. She stopped outside a pub called The Three Greyhounds. ‘Let's have a drink. 4.can't go in there, I said nervously. I'd never been 54 in a pub in my life. ‘Someone I know might see me.’ ‘Aw, come on, Jess.’ Jules took my arm and dragged me inside. She sat me down at a table and went to the bar while I looked around the smoke- filled pub nervously. Once I was sure there were no Indian guys around, I relaxed a bit. Jules came back with a lager for herself and a Coke for me. I couldn’t help envying her. She seemed so sure of herself. She knew exactly what she wanted, to do and where she was going. And here was me who'd never been in a pub before, who'd never even, drunk alcohol either. ‘When's this American scout coming, then?’ 1 asked her, remembering what she'd said when we were in the park. Jules shrugged. ‘Dunno.’ She lifted her glass and took a drink. ‘But I hope it's soon. You know what really pisses me off, Jess? There's no money in the women’s game over here. We're years behind America.’ “But America never get anywhere in the World Cup,'I pointed out. ‘That's the blokes’ Jules replied. ‘The girls are mad for it. The US's women’s team, right, they went on strike to demand that they got paid the same as the 55a men.’ She grinned at me. ‘And they won! One of our England team even drives a taxi to pay her way. Can you see Beckham having to do that?” I shook my head. ‘I still can’t believe that women get paid for playing football.’ ‘Mia Hamm, one of the American players, makes millions in sponsorship,’ Jules said, a serious look on her face. ‘And I want to be up there with her: I've got, a place at Loughborough doing sports education, but if Joe does get that American scout over ...’ She shrugged. ‘Who knows?” “You're so lucky; I said enviously. ‘I can’t even leave home to go to college. I have to go to Kingston Uni if I get my grades.’ Jules looked me straight in the eye. ‘And is that what you really want to do?’ she asked. I couldn't say anything. I knew what I wanted to do, and it was exactly the same as Jules. Go to ‘America and become a professional player and earn loads of money doing the one thing I loved. The problem was, I knew that I'd never be allowed to do it. “Mum, she’s back!” Shut up, Pinky, I cursed silently as I hurried into 56 the house. Mum and Dad were sitting on the sofa, and Pinky was in the kitchen, so she'd spotted me fumbling with my key outside the front door. I'd been hoping to slide in quietly without any fuss, shoot upstairs and shove my boots under the bed where nobody would see them. ‘Jesminder!’ Mum turned round and stared at me. “You've been gone all day for two pairs of shoes? Come here.’ ‘It’s not that late, Mum,’ I said, edging towards the stairs. ‘I was looking at other things too, like ~’ I had to think for a minute ‘~ handbags.’ Pinky came out of the kitchen, and raised her eyebrows. ‘Let me see ‘em,’ she demanded. ‘Not yet, I gabled. ‘'ll try them on with my suit’ Theaded for the stairs. made it about halfway up, but Pinky ran after me and grabbed the carrier bag. Traced down the stairs after her, but she jumped on to the sofa between Mum and Dad, and handed the carrier bag to Mum, My heart sank, [leaned over the sofa, trying to get the bag back, but suddenly Mum grabbed my jacket and pulled me closer. Then she started sniffing me like a mad thing. “Have you been smoking? she asked furiously. ‘No!’ I gasped. I groaned inwardly, remembering 37how smoky the pub had been. I must stink of cigarettes, and Mum’s got a nose like a bloodhound. ‘Chi chil’ Mum moaned, sniffing me again. ‘Cigarettes and drink!’ ‘Look, [had to go to the loo, so I went into a pub ‘with my friend,’ I gabled. ‘Thad a Coke - look, you can smell my breath.” Dad jumped up from the sofa and came round to sniff at me. ‘She could be right’ he admitted. ‘Mum looked slightly less stressed. That didn’t last long though. She opened the first shoe box and took out the black loafers. She stared at them in disgust, and Pinky pulled a face. “These don’t even have any heel,” Mum pointed out crossly. ‘How will your sari fall nicely in these?” “Vil take them back,’ I mumbled, desperate to stop them opening the second shoe box. ‘Give me the bag.’ But it was too late. Mum already had the other box opened, and was holding an Adidas Predator in, her hand. ‘Football shoes’ she wailed, and buried her face against the boot as if she was about to burst into tears. “You can’t take them back, Jess,’ Jules said firmly. The 38 whole team was on the grass doing sit-ups. We were in two long lines facing each other, and Jules was opposite me. ‘V've got to,’ I muttered. The hassle I'd got was unbelievable. I'd been warned again that football was out. Luckily, my parents hadn't realised that I’d been playing all this time for the Harriers without them knowing, and Pinky had kept her mouth shut too. ‘Mum told me I had to take them back and get, some proper shoes for the wedding.’ “Don't worry about it,’ Jules said between gasps. ‘Come to my house after this, and I'll sort you out.’ ‘Come on, gitls,’ Joe yelled. He was standing at the top of the two lines, keeping a sharp eye on us. “Wake up!’ ‘God, my mum had a fit when she saw the boots,’ Igrumbled. ‘And I smelt like a bleeding ashtray too. They made me wash up all the big saucepans after dinner. Yuk.” "Yak, yak, yak, Jess!” Looked up to find Joe staring hard at me. “Everything all right?’ he asked in a softer voice. “Yes, coach,’ I said. ‘Training getting in the way of your cosy little conversation?” he enquired. 59‘No, coach, I said nervously. ‘Good!’ he shouted, making me jump. ‘So you won't mind five more laps round the pitch, then, Elbows to knees as you go.’ 1 got to my feet, wishing he hadn’t said that. My right ankle was hurting me at the moment, and it had got worse during training, But I wasn't going to argue. That didn’t stop Jules, though. ‘Joe, that's totally out of order!’ she exclaimed. ‘I don’t remember telling the rest of you to stop,’ I heard Joe shout as I ran off around the pitch, lifting my knees up high. ‘C’mon, move it! You're doing really well. Just keep it up for the next fifteen minutes.’ I carried on running round the pitch. My ankle twinged every so often and I winced. It felt as though I'd sprained it slightly. But I was determined to keep going. The training session finished just as I was completing my fourth lap, and I watched the other girls going back to the changing-room. My ankle was really beginning to hurt now and I was limping. ‘All right, Jess.’ Joe came running over to me, looking concerned. ‘You can stop now.’ "No, I'm OK,’ I panted. ‘'ve just got one more lap.’ 60 a ‘I said, Stop,’ Joe said sternly. ‘You're doing yourself an injury.’ He took my arm. ‘Come on, let's have a look at you’ “It’s nothing...’ ‘Sit down.’ Joe pointed at the grass. ‘And let me decide if it's nothing or not.’ Leased myself down on to the grass, biting my lip. Joe knelt down and undid my boot, then he slipped my sock off gently. I felt hot all over. I knew I was red in the face, and it wasn’t just because I'd been running either. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you'd twisted it?’ Joe asked. He put his hand on the sole of my foot and rotated it gently. ‘I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t as strong as the others,’ I muttered. The feel of his warm hand on my bare skin was doing weird things to my insides. Joe shook his head. ‘That's stupid, Jess. Look, my dad was my coach and the scouts kept telling him I was too slight to play, but he kept pushing me. That's how I injured my knee.’ “You mean, your dad made you?” | asked softly. ‘wanted to show him I wasn’t soft,’ Joe replied. ‘So I tried to play injured.’ His face shadowed. ‘He always was a bastard, anyway.’ 6‘You shouldn’t say that about your dad,’ I murmured. Joe glanced up at me, and my heart started to thunder in my ears. ‘You don’t know my dad.’ He helped me up, then put one arm round my shoulder and the other round my waist. I froze, and just about managed to stop myself gasping aloud. It was the closest I’d ever been to a boy before. And I was enjoying it. If Taz or Sonny or any of the others, even Tony, had tried it, I would probably have punched them on the nose. But this was different. The way I felt about Joe was different. I was falling for him. ‘And I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. six stared intently at the photo of Joe and Jules on the dressing-table. Jules had left me in her bedroom, while she went to nick a pair of her mum's shoes for me to borrow. I'd been studying the posters of women footballers on the walls, when I'd spotted the photo. Jules and Joe had their arms wrapped round each other, and they looked really happy, as if they were celebrating, I felt a bit jealous, although I tried not to be. Nothing was going to happen between me and Joe anyway. He was white, for a start. It was OK for me to hang around with Jules, because we were just friends. But I could just imagine my parents’ faces if | brought Joe home to tea and said he was my boyfriend The way I felt about Joe had kind of shocked me. Yd never thought about a boy that way before, and it had sort of crept up on me without me noticing. My head was spinning as | tried to analyse exactly why I liked him. OK, he was good-looking, but it wasn’t just that. It was the way he understood exactly why I loved playing football, and how 63important it was to me. We were on the same wavelength. I was still staring dreamily at the photo when a pair of black, high-heeled shoes with diamante bows were suddenly thrust under my nose. ‘Just give ‘em back after the wedding,’ Jules said with a grin. ‘My mum loves them. She stuck the bows on herself, would you believe.” The shoes were a bit fussy for me, but Mum would like them, so at least they would shut her up. ‘Are you sure your mum won't miss them?’ I asked. Jules shrugged. ‘Nah, she’s got a million pairs.’ She hesitated for a moment, then went on. ‘Listen, Lhope Joe isn’t too hard on you. Some of the girls think he’s, strict.” ‘Oh no,’ I said, knowing that I was blushing. ‘He was really nice.’ That sounded like I fancied him, so I quickly added, ‘Really professional.’ 1 glanced at the photo again, wanting to ask Jules if she really did have the hots for him. But I was too shy. Jules followed my gaze, and her face lit up. ‘Oh, I love that picture,’ she said. ‘It was taken just after we beat Millwall last year.’ Smiling to herself, 64 she went over to the TV and switched it on. ‘Come on, you've got to see this. It’s wicked!’ A logo appeared on the TV screen ~ Women’s United Soccer Association. 1 gasped as the picture switched to a large American stadium full of fans, watching a match between two women’s teams “Wow! That’s amazing!’ “Yeah, we don’t get anything like that here, do we?’ Jules muttered, her gaze fixed on the TV. The video was a montage of action from women’s matches, and everything looked slick and professional ~ about a million miles away from Hounslow Harriers. I watched as one player, a woman with her dark hair tied up in a ponytail, took a free kick, and blasted it past the defensive wall into the comer of the net. ‘That's Mia Hamm,’ Jules told me, as the team celebrated. We watched the video to the end. Jules was right ~ it was like a different world. I really envied her having the chance to play in the States. When the American scout Joe had mentioned came to visit, he was bound to be interested in Jules. And what about me, whispered a tiny voice at the back of my mind. I pushed it away. It didn’t matter one way or the other 65if the scout was interested in me. I wouldn't be going anywhere. ‘So, Jess.’ Jules tuned the TV off and looked at me, ‘When are you going to tell your parents about your game?” I groaned. ‘Oh, I dunno.’ “You can’t keep lying to them,’ Jules pointed out. "You're too good: ‘Jules?’ Someone was calling, coming up the stairs. “Sweetheart?” ‘It’s my mum, Jules hissed. I dived across the room, and shoved the shoes into my bag, Then we both sat down on the bed, looking, innocent. Jules?” Mrs Paxton came into the bedroom, and stopped short. ‘Oh, you've got company. Mrs Paxton was wearing cut-off jeans and a tight blue shirt with high-heeled white mules and lots of gold jewellery. She looked very glamorous. Her hair was blonde and wavy, and she was beautifully made-up. Her cleavage was a bit over the top, though. Jules had told me that her mum worked in a lingerie shop on Ealing Broadway, and was always trying to get her to wear lacy numbers instead of sports bras. She was always on at poor Jules to be 66 a more girly. She just didn’t get that Jules wasn't interested. “Mum, this is Jess,’ Jules said. Mrs Paxton beamed at me. ‘Hello, love.’ Then she frowned. ‘Jess. Is that Indian?” “1s really Jesminder/ I explained, ‘but only my mum calls me that.’ ‘Jesminder. That's nice. Lovely.’ Mrs Paxton nodded encouragingly at me. ‘Well, Jesminder, I bet your room at home doesn’t look like this ~ with all these great big butch women on the walls.’ And she waved a hand at Jules’ posters, “Mum! Jules groaned. Mrs Paxton homed in on me again. ‘Jess, I hope you can teach my daughter a bit about your culture, including respecting your elders and the like.’ I tried not to laugh. Beside me, Jules rolled her eyes and pulled a face. ‘Cheeky madam,’ her mum said fondly. “You're a lucky girl, aren’tyou, Jess? I expect your parents will be fixing you up with a nice, handsome doctor soon ~a pretty girl like you.’ ‘Mum!’ Jules shrieked. ‘Stop embarrassing yourself!” Mrs Paxton looked hurt. ‘I’m just being friendly, 67Juliette,’ she said. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Jess, love? ‘Course not. Now, are you a friend from school or work?! I didn’t have to reply because Jules did it for me. ‘She's a footballer,’ she said with a grin. ‘Jess is on the team with me.” ‘Mrs Paxton looked as if Jules had said I was a serial killer or something. She was obviously shocked and disappointed, and her face fell. I was dying to burst out laughing, but I couldn’t because it would have been rude. | bit my lip hard, and managed to hold on until Jules had rushed me out of the house after ahasty goodbye. We made it to the 120 bus stop, and then we both collapsed in hysterics, clutching each other for support, ‘Did you see her face?’ Jules giggled. ‘Juliette’ I snorted, doing a crap imitation of her mum. ‘Jesntinder/ Jules joined in, and we laughed even harder. I was in a pretty good mood by the time I got home. Even my ankle was feeling better. I bounced in through the door, beaming all over my face - and came to a sudden stop. The first person I saw was 68 Pinky. She was standing in the kitchen doorway, a hanky clutched in her hand. Dad was standing by the fireplace looking stern, and Mum looked tearful too. Teetu’s awful parents were sitting on the sofa, staring at me like I was a piece of dirt on the floor. ‘Sats-sri-akal, Uncleji, Auntieji.’ I greeted them nervously, wondering what the hell was going on. The atmosphere in the living-room was arctic, and everyone was glaring at me, for some reason, ‘Look, we'te not trying to cause trouble,’ Teetu’s dad blustered, heaving himself off the sofa. ‘We just felt it our duty to tell you. Now it is a matter for your own family.’ Teetu’s mum stood up too, her face even grimmer than usual. ‘Listen.’ Dad came forward, looking upset. ‘You know how hard itis for our children here. Sometimes they misjudge things, and try to be too western.’ eetu’s mum looked unconvinced. ‘All I know is that children are a map of their parents,’ she snapped, hustling her husband towards the front door: ‘Sats-sri-akal” I stood aside as they went out. What on earth was going on? ‘You stupid flippin’ cow!’ Pinky yelled, charging 69across the kitchen towards me, as the door clicked shut behind Teets’ parents. “You've ruined your sister’s life!” Mum wailed. “Are you happy now?’ I just stared at them with my mouth open. I didn’t have a clue what they were going on about. “My whole wedding’s been called off because of you,’ Pinky sobbed. ‘Me!’ I couldn’t believe my ears. ‘Why? ‘They saw you,’ Mum snapped. ‘Being ...’ She searched for the right word, ‘Filthy with an English boy!" ‘They're lying!’ I gasped. ‘I wasn’t with any English boy’ “They saw you today at a bus stop kissing him, Pinky retorted furiously. ‘You bitch! Why couldnt you do it in secret like everybody else?” ‘Kissing? Me? A boy?’ I spluttered. ‘You're mad, you're all bloody mad!” “Jesminder, don’t use those swearing words,’ Dad said sharply. Suddenly, I got it. Bus stop. English boy. Trust Teetu’s dumb parents to make a mistake like that. The idiots. “T uns at the 120 bus stop today with my friend 70 Juliette,’ I explained quickly. ‘She's a girl. And we weren't kissing or anything, for God's sake.’ Thad to convince them I was telling the truth or I'd never be allowed out of the house again. Dad pointed at the picture of Guru Nanak on the wall. ‘Swear by Babaji,’ he said sternly. “Lswear on Babaji’s name’ I said quietly. Everyone was silent, except for Pinky who was sitting on the sofa, sobbing. “These English girls have such short hair,’ Mum muttered, sinking into a chair. ‘Sometimes you just can’t tell.” ‘They must have made a mistake,’ Dad agreed. ‘That boy's shameless parents are just making an excuse,’ Mum went on. ‘We were never good enough, for them.’ My knees felt wobbly with relief - until Pinky opened her big mouth again. ‘No, Mum, it’s all her fault,’ she moaned. ‘I bet she was with some dykey girl from her football team. ‘She's still been playing, you know.’ ‘Pinky!’ I hissed. ‘She ain’t got a job or nothing,’ Pinky went on hysterically. ‘She’s been lying!” Mum and Dad stared at me, totally shocked. I 71groaned. Now I really was in for it ‘Oh, God!” Mum wailed dramatically. ‘Why did you give me two deceiving daughters? What did I do wrong in my past life?” Pinky pointed an accusing finger at me. ‘She's the one who's ruined my life—’ “Be qui didn’t know you'd been sneaking out with that Mum broke in crossly. ‘Do you think 1 good-for-nothing Teetu?’ That shut Pinky up. Mum looked from me to Pinky and back again. I knew exactly what she was going to say. ‘Well, that’s it,’ she snapped. ‘No more going out for either of you.’ So that was the end of my football career, such as it was. | wasn’tallowed out of the house, and I couldn’t get to the training sessions. I was gutted, and Pinky was as miserable as I was. The wedding was still off, even though Teetu’s parents had been told the truth. Like Mum said, they were using it as an excuse to split Teetu and Pinky up. I was bored out of my mind. I kept wondering how the other girls were getting on in training, and who'd replace me in the next match of the 7 tournament, which was coming up. And I couldn’t get Joe out of my head. Was I ever going to see him again? It didn’t seem very likely. The house was like a morgue. Mum was still mad with both of us, and Dad went around looking upset, He’d taken the fairy lights down from the front of the house, so all our nosy neighbours were gossiping about the wedding not happening. Pinky had taken assickie from work, and was spending all her time in her room, crying. I was sent upstairs every mealtime to see if she was coming down to eat or not. ‘Pinky?’ I tapped tentatively on her bedroom door. It was a few days later, and Mum was finally starting to calm down. I'd missed two training sessions by now, and Iwas wondering what Joe was thinking. Would he be worried? Would he ask Jules 1g her to tell where I was? I'd thought about pho her what had happened, but I couldn’t see any point. It was too painful to be reminded about what I was missing. ‘Pinky?’ I pushed the door open warily. We hadn’t really made up since the row. ‘It's dinner-time. Are you coming down?’ Pinky shook her head. She was sitting on her bed, her eyes swollen and red, clutching a wet tissue. She 73was surrounded by every cuddly toy and giant, schmaltzy card that Teetu had ever bought her. ‘Sorry I told them about your football,’ she muttered. ‘It’s OK’ I gave her a hug. ‘They'd have found out soon enough. They always do.’ 1 went back downstairs, feeling better now that Pinky and I were talking again. Mum and Dad were sitting at the table, waiting to start. ‘How's your sister?’ Mum asked. ‘It’s time she stopped crying now. She's lucky she found out what a bad mother-in-law she nearly had.’ We alll sat there in silence. None of us felt like talking, Just as I leaned over to take a chapatti, the doorbell rang, Before any of us could move, Pinky came thundering down the stairs. ‘Tl get it!’ she yelled. She was obviously hoping it was Teetu. Pinky flung the door open eagerly. I turned round to see who it was - and nearly passed out on the spot, ‘Hello’ said Joe. SEVEN I carried the tray of tea in from the kitchen with shaking hands, hoping no-one would notice the cups rattling in their saucers. There was an awkward silence in the living-room. Dad, Mum and Pinky were sitting staring at Joe, and not ina friendly way. But at least they hadn't kicked him out without hearing what he had to say. Iput the tray down on the coffee table, and handed Joe a cup. ‘Thanks, Jess,’ he said quietly. I sat down on a corner of the sofa, stealing a glance at him, It was great to see him again. My heart was thumping and my insides were flipping every time he looked at me. But I had to be careful. Pinky could spot a romance a mile away. If Mum and Dad suspected that I was crazy about my coach, my chances of playing for the team again would be even more microscopic than they were right now. I wondered if Joe had come just to find out why I hadn’t been at training, or if Jules had told him that, my parents hadn’t known I was playing for the team 75all this time. Either way, he'd probably guessed the situation by now, based on the dirty looks he was getting. Joe cleared his throat. ‘I'm sorry to barge in on you, Mr and Mrs Bhamra,’ he said, ‘but I wanted to talk to you in person. I only found out today that you didn’t know Jess was playing for our team.’ ’No, we didn’t, Mum snapped. “1 apologise.’ Joe looked straight at Mum, and 1 loved him for it. Jules must've told him, so he'd known when he decided to come round here that it was going to be tough. He'd still come though. Oh, I knew it was just because he wanted me back on the team, but it made me feel good. ‘If I'd known, 1 would've encouraged Jess to tell you ~' he paused, then went on ‘~ because I believe she’s got tremendous potential.’ ‘We all sat there in silence for a few seconds. ‘I think we know best our daughter's potential,’ Dad said quietly. ‘Jess has no time for games. She'll be starting university soon.’ “But playing for the team is an honour’ I blurted out, unable to keep quiet any longer. Mum glared at me. ‘What bigger honour is there than respecting your elders?’ she demanded. 76 Dad looked at Joe. ‘Young man, when I was a teenager in Nairobi, I was the best fast bowler in my school,’ he said curtly. ‘Our team even won the East African cup. But when I came to this country, nothing. I wasn’t allowed to play in any team, These bloody goreh in their clubhouses laughed at my turban and sent me packing,’ I looked down at the floor. I knew about this because Mum had told me, but Dad had never talked about it before. ‘I'm sorry, Mr Bhamra; Joe began. ‘But now— ‘Now what?” Dad broke in. ‘None of our boys are in any of the football leagues. And you think they'll let our girls in? I don’t want to build up Jesminder’s hopes ~’ he glanced over at me’~ she'll only end up disappointed like me.’ “But, Dad, it’s ll changing now,’ Isaid desperately. ‘Look at Nasser Hussain. He's the captain of the England cricket team, and he's Asian.’ ‘Hussain is a Muslim name, Mum said sternly. “Their families are different.’ ‘Oh, Mum!” It was no use. I could tell that they weren't going to give in. Joe got the message too. A few minutes later, he got up to leave without finishing his tea. 7I was determined to grab a quick word with him alone, so I walked out to his car with him. Mum gave me a filthy look, but I didn’t care. It would probably be the last time I ever saw him. ‘Sorry about that,’ I muttered as I pulled the front door shut behind me. ‘But thanks for trying.’ Joe shrugged. ‘We've been invited to play a match in Germany this Saturday. It’s a shame you'll miss it’ My eyes widened. ‘Wow! Germany? Really?’ Then my face fell, as I realised that I had more chance of going to the North Pole. ‘Ican see what you're up against,’ Joe said softly. “But your parents don’t always know what's best for you, Jess.’ 1 stood staring at him as he turned away and got into his car. My mind was buzzing. Your parents don't always know what's best for you... Joe was right. In this case, they didn’t. ‘OK, you know what to do, yeah?’ Pinky said impatiently, as she scorched down the road towards the club, “Yeah, call them twice a day,’ I replied, picking 78 up her mobile. ‘They won't be able to tell I'm in Germany, will they?” Pinky shook her head. ‘Trust me, I’m an expert at this.’ She swung the car into the club car park. ‘Look, there's your team’ The girls were all sitting in the minibus, and Joe was just climbing inside. He was pulling the door shut when he spotted the car. 1 jumped out, grabbing my bag. ‘My sister's covering for me,’ Isaid breathlessly. ‘We're supposed to be staying at our cousin’s in Croydon.’ Joe smiled at me. ‘I didn’t hear that.” I rushed on to the bus, and all the girls cheered. 1 made my way over to Jules, who was sitting on her own. ‘knew you'd come,’ she said with a huge grin. ‘I even saved a seat for you.” ‘Iwouldn’t have missed it for anything.’ I grinned back at her, pushing the fact that I was deceiving my parents to the back of my mind. I was going to enjoy myself, whatever happened. Things started off brilliantly. The plane journey was a laugh, and I even enjoyed the plastic meal we were served by the stewardesses. When we arrived in Hamburg, we were whisked out of the airport and 79on to a luxury bus for the short drive to our hotel. Jules and I were sharing a room, but we hardly had time to unpack before we were off for a river-boat trip around the city. ‘Isn't this fab?’ Jules yelled in my ear, as the oat sailed along one of the many canals. I nodded. Hamburg was huge, a real mixture of old and new, with churches and museums right alongside big new shopping centres. ‘Come on, Jess.’ Jules whipped her camera out of her bag. ‘Say “cheese”!’ ‘What do you wanta picture of me for?’ [aughed, doing a mock-sexy pout. I was playing to the camera a bit because I knew that Joe was looking at me. But, it was liberating to know that no-one was going to see me and rush to tell Mum and Dad that I wasn’t behaving myself properly. The match against the German team was in the evening, so we headed back to the hotel for lunch and a rest before we went over to the club. We were all up for the game massively. Even though it was a friendly, we were determined to win. I couldn't wait to get out on to the pitch - though there was a secret worry niggling away at the back of my mind. I'd missed several training sessions, and I hadn't even 80 been playing in the park with the lads like I used to, What if I wasn’t fit enough for a ninety-minute game? The German club was amazing. reckon the German girls would have gone on strike if they’d had the same facilities we were expected to put up with at the Harriers. As I stood on the pitch that evening, waiting for Mel and the German captain to choose halves, I stared round at the immaculate green grass, the huge, comfortable stands filled with people, the state-of-the-art floodlights and the electronic scoreboard. This was easily the biggest crowd I'd ever played in front of. I was desperate to do well The ref blew his whistle, and the first half began. The German team were no pushover. They obviously weren't considering the game as just a friendly either, and they were pretty physical. I got a bit frustrated after forty-five minutes when all my runs and attempts to set something up with Jules were blocked. At the half-time whistle, we'd had one shot at goal, a header from Mel, and that was all. ‘Don’t lose heart,’ Joe said urgently to us in the changing-room. ‘We're blocking them just as efficiently at our end. It’s going to be a question of 81which side can hold out the longest. Don’t give up.’ 1 felt OK as we ran out for the second half. All my fears about not being fit enough seemed to be unfounded. But as the deadlock continued for the next twenty minutes, I began to wheeze a bit. My pace started to drop, and I was having to push myself hard to keep up with the flow of play. Suddenly a shout from behind startled me. ‘Jess! Mark her!’ Mel yelled. With a sinking heart, I realised that my opponent had got away from me, and was dribbling towards the penalty area, unmarked. I chased after her, but couldn’t catch her up. She banged the ball into the net past Charlie, and we were one-nil down It was all my fault, I thought gloomily as the German team celebrated. Mel saw my face and came over to put her arm round me. ‘Don’t worry, Jess,’ she said. ‘These things happen.’ Yeah, but it wouldn't have happened if 1 was fit enough, I thought silently. It wasn’t fair on the rest of the team. I had to make it up to them somehow. The match was nearly over and I was almost on my last legs, when I saw a chance. I picked the ball up from Sally, and, as if by magic, a gap suddenly 82 opened up in front of me. I got my second wind, and headed for the German penalty area ‘Jess!’ I could hear Jules shrieking as she ran alongside me. ‘Pass!’ I glanced up and hit the ball forward into space. Jules ran on to it, picked it up and thumped the ball into the net. It was just as good as Beckham's last minute goal against Greece. I almost collapsed with relief Jules cartwheeled over to me and I jumped on her, followed by the rest of the team. We were all screaming with joy. The ref had to break it up and hustle us back to the centre circle, but two minutes after we kicked off, he blew the whistle for full-time. A draw. ‘Penalties,’ Jules said, with a wide smile on her face. ‘Let's stuff ‘em, girls.’ Although it wasn’t usual to finish a friendly with penalties, ‘oth sides had decided that it would be a nice idea. Now, with my legs wobbling dangerously underneath me, I wasn’t so sure. I hung, back as Joe came on to the pitch to give us a quick pep talk Maybe he wouldn't choose me. ‘OK, Jules, you go first Joe said briskly. ‘Then Mel, Tina, Hannah and ~’ he turned to me Jess.’ 83 | | |I tried not to look relieved that I was last. With any luck I wouldn’t have to take my tum, if the match was decided before that. The Germans went first, and scored. So did Jules, with a cracking shot that nearly broke through the net. The Germans scored again. So did Mel. After a third German goal, Tina was looking nervous, but she was lucky because her shot went in off the post. My stomach was turning over and overas Hannah stepped up to take our fourth penalty. The Germans hadn't missed one yet. If Hannah scored, it would be all down to the last German penalty-taker ~ and me. Hannah sent the goalie the wrong way and rolled the ball smoothly into the left-hand corner of the net. tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. If the next German player scored, I'd have to take my tur. I closed my eyes, willing her to fail. Aloud roar around the stadium told me that she'd scored. The ref beckoned to me, and I trudged over to place the ball on the spot. I was incredibly tired, and my legs felt like they were made of lead. Behind me I could hear the girls yelling encouragement. ‘Come on, Jess!’ That was Jules. “You can do this.’ Imade a superhuman effort and ran towards the 84 ball, but even as I hit it, I knew it wasn’t right. 1 groaned as the ball hit the crossbar and ricocheted into the crowd. Now I knew exactly how Gareth Southgate, David Batty and all those other pla who'd missed penalties for England felt. Like someone had grabbed hold of my insides and ripped them out. Gutted, in other words. 85