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    HMM

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    HMM

    Uploaded by

    7p4vpx4hgm
    2 views1 page

    Original Title

    Hmm

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    2 views1 page

    HMM

    Uploaded by

    7p4vpx4hgm

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
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    “The crumbs you threw,

    Will make me ill—


    Yet they are all,
    I have of you.”

    To the boy I almost loved——-


    (recommend listening to ‘my heart is buried in Venice’ by Ricky Montgomery)

    “My mum’s coming back.”


    “Oh so you gotta leave early?”
    “Ummm nooo I was just letting you know.”
    We laughed. My mask rose high up nearly shutting my eyes completely. That was exactly a year
    back. Would I have not called you out for dinner if I knew what was about to unfold… I like to think
    that I would have done what I did even if I had the power to go back in time. I was 10 years old when
    I called you out from the huge red gate below. I asked you if you remember that deeply engraved
    memory on my mind, I was disappointed but maybe I should have known then… I was asking for too
    much.

    My heart shoots out fireworks when I take your hand in mine. Always. Do you think I could have it
    again? My mind instantly drifts back to the wedding when I first told you that I liked you. I was 14
    then. Messages on Facebook stored somewhere in a forgotten password. Shy eye contacts lost
    somewhere in the wind and trails of pounding hearts left behind the stony road of the quiet place we
    call home. Now every time I am home, I recall you. I feel sad. I met you at 21 and the face I swore I
    didn’t like anymore crept back in and I gently let it in. Maybe it was the weather or the hustle bustle
    of the traffic, or the alcohol, I felt a rush. A rush to leave everything and hold your hand, look straight
    into your dark eyes and let the universe take us to somewhere only we know. But then again I was the
    only one there.
    What followed after some of my happiest times in years hasn’t left yet. A year of second guessing, a
    year of swollen eyes, a year of replaying the ‘almost.’ August made me hate you, I was raged but my
    heart was never built to hate you. I wonder if the thing I call hate is what you felt when we laughed.
    My heart was up on a roller coaster disguised in a carousel.
    Maybe it was something I did or maybe you just did not feel what I felt or maybe it was the timing’…
    so many maybes left unanswered. I like to imagine you looking back at our laughter, our cute little
    meets, our soft seven minutes in heaven and your classic shy smile appearing.
    We are worlds apart but I somehow continually search for you wishing to find you. The dream I had a
    week back occupies the space, I assumed, had left. For a moment, I stopped wishing and breaking my
    own heart but I hate commitments and lack consistency. I think no matter where I go I will always
    forage for you and your heart.
    I want to forget everything, I want my mind to be quiet and not stress over someone miles away but I
    don’t want to end our story.
    Please don’t tell me how much of you I am allowed to love. I remember telling my friend that ‘love’
    is a very big word for me but now when I think about it, isn’t this love or almost love?
    I am left with nothing but fragments of almost somethings. My heart is heavy. My mind clouded. My
    thoughts scattered and sometimes the loneliest place is to be in love. Don’t let me fade away like a
    polaroid. The biggest unanswered puzzle left to figure out is whether I meant everything or nothing at
    all.

    “And if we never talk again, I want you to know that I miss most of all— and every time the sun goes
    down, I think of all the things I wish I could tell you.”

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