Nurture

Personal
Relationships
Objectives:
At the end of this module, you will be able to:
1. Discuss an understanding of how to nurture
relationships.
2. Express your ways of maintain a healthy
relationship; and
3. Identify ways to become responsible in making
decisions in a relationship.
4. Distinguish the various roles of different individuals
in society and how they can influence people
through their leadership or followership.
Reading: NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Connect with your family
One of the biggest challenges for families to stay connected is the busy pace
of life. But Blue Zones research states that the healthiest, longest-living people
in the world all have something in common: they put their families first. Family
support can provide comfort, support, and even influence better health
outcomes while you are sick. Relationships and family author Mimi Doe
recommends connecting with family by letting little grievances go, spending
time together, and expressing love and compassion to one another.

Of course, the same practices apply to close friends as well. This is especially
important if you don’t have living family, or have experienced difficult
circumstances, such as abuse, that would make it difficult for you to connect
with your relatives.
NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS:
Practice gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most accessible positive emotions, and its effects can
strengthen friendships and intimate relationships. One 2010 study found that expressing
gratitude toward a partner can strengthen the relationship, and this positive boost is
felt by both parties—the one who expresses gratitude and the one who receives it.
Remembering to say “thank you” when a friend listens or your spouse brings you a cup
of coffee can set off an upward spiral of trust, closeness, and affection.

Learn to forgive
It’s normal for disagreements or betrayal to arise in relationships, but your choice
about how to handle the hurt can have a powerful effect on the healing
process. Choosing to forgive can bring about a variety of benefits, both physical
and emotional. Fred Luskin, head of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, says it’s
easier to let go of the anger or hurt feelings associated with a circumstance if
you remind yourself that much of your distress is really coming from the thoughts
and feelings you are having right now while remembering the event—not the
event itself. Don’t be afraid to clearly articulate why you are upset, but once the
other party has listened, be willing to lay down your anger and move on.
Be compassionate
Compassion is the willingness to be open to yourself and others, even in painful times,
with a gentle, nonjudgmental attitude. When you feel compassionate toward
another person—whether a romantic partner, friend, relative, or colleague— you
open the gates for better communication and a stronger bond. This doesn’t mean
taking on the suffering of others, or absorbing their emotions. Rather, compassion is
the practice of recognizing when someone else is unhappy or whose needs aren’t
being met and feeling motivated to help them. We are an imitative species: when
compassion is shown to us, we return it.
Accept others
It is also important to be accepting of the other person in the relationship.
Obviously, this does not apply in situations of abuse or unhealthy control, where you
need foremost to protect yourself. But otherwise, try to understand where the person
is coming from rather than judge them. As you do for yourself, have a realistic
acceptance of the other's strengths and weaknesses and remember that change
occurs over time.
Create
Create rituals together
• With busy schedules and the presence of online social media
that offer the façade of real contact, it’s very easy to drift from
friends. In order to nurture the closeness and support of
friendships, you have to make an effort to connect. Gallup
researcher Tom Rath has found that people who deliberately
make time for gatherings or trips enjoy stronger relationships
and more positive energy. An easy way to do this is to create a
standing ritual that you can share and that doesn’t create more
stress—talking on the telephone on Fridays, for example, or
sharing a walkduring lunch breaks, are ways to keep in contact
with the ones you care about the most.
• Spend the right amount of time together
• Gallup researchers Jim Harter and Raksha Arora found
that people who spend 6-7 hours per day socializing
(which could mean hanging out with friends, sharing
meals with family, or even emailing a colleague) tend to
be the happiest. In contrast, those who have zero
interactions (or an exhausting overload of social time) feel
more stressed. Knowing when to give your time to others
and when to take some time for yourself can be crucial in
maintaining balanced, healthy relationships as well as
emotional well being.
 READING: TEN RULES FOR FINDING
LOVE AND CREATING LONGLASTING
AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS
1. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which all others
are formed. Loving yourself is a prerequisite to creating a successful and
authentic union with another
2. PARTNERING IS A CHOICE MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR
IT TO THRIVE
The choice to be in a relationship is up to you. You have the ability to attract
your beloved and cause the relationship you desire to happen.
3. CREATING LOVE IS A PROCESS
Moving from “I” to “we” requires a shift in perspective and energy. Being
an authentic couple is an evolution.
 READING: TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING
LONGLASTING
AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS
4. RELATIONSHIPS PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW
Your relationship will serve as an unofficial “lifeshop” in which
you will learn about yourself and how you can grow on your
personal path.
5. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL
The open exchange of thoughts and feelings is the
lifeblood of your relationship.
6. NEGOTIATION WILL BE REQUIRED
There will be times when you and your partner must work through
impasses. If you do this consciously and with respect, you will learn to
create win-win outcomes.
 READING: TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING LONGLASTING
AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS

7. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CHALLENGED BY CHANGE

Life will present turns in the road. How you maneuver those twists and turns
determines the success of your relationship. .

8. YOU MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP For IT TO THRIVE

Treasure your beloved and your relationship will flourish.
9. RENEWAL IS THE KEY TO LONGEVITY
Happily ever after means the ability to keep the relationship fresh and vital.
10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS THE MOMENT YOU FALL IN LOVE
You know all these rules inherently. The challenge is to remember them
when you fall under the enchanting spell of love.

Source: http://angellovecards.com/assets/luminaries/drcherrieLOVEposter.pdf
 ACTIVITY: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ITEMS SET
ASESSMENT
1. What should you consider when making decisions
around sex and sexual limits?
a. Your values c. Your family
b. Your friends d. All of the above
2. What is the best style of communication to use when making
decisions about sexual limits and boundaries?
a. Assertive
c. Aggressive
b. Passive

3. Name three important qualities of a healthy relationship.

4. Which of the following is NOT an element of a
healthy relationship?
A. Trust one another C. Respect one another
B. One person makes all the D. Open and honest
decisions communication
5. Name a reason why you may NOT make healthy choices
when it comes to sex.
6. Name three resources you can turn to if you are worried
about abuse in your relationship.
7. Name three characteristics of an unhealthy relationship.
8. What skills do you need to make healthy decisions in a
relationship?
a. Intelligence, memory, ability to do public speaking
B. Assertive communication, active listening, and negotiation skills
C. Ability to persuade others, love
D. passive communication
E. None of the above
9. Why would you choose abstinence? Give 3 reasons.
10. Which of the following are signs that you may be in an
abusive relationship?
A. Bruises, scratches and other C. Apologizing for your partner`s
signs of injuries behavior
B. Avoiding friends D. All of the above
 ASSIGNMENT
• Processing Questions:
• 1. What were your thoughts and feelings while answering the activity?
• 2. What did you discover about yourself after doing the activity?
• 3. With previous activities, how would you describe your relationship with your
parents? Siblings? Possible or current romantic relationship? Friends?
• 4. Which relationship is most important to you? Why?
• 5. In what ways do you express your feelings, whether positive or negative?
• 6. If your relationship is not doing very well, what can you do about it?
 KEEPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

• Good relationships are fun and make you feel good

about yourself. The relationships that you make in
your youth years will be a special part of your life
and will teach you some of the most important
lessons about who you are. Truly good relationships
take time and energy to develop. All relationships
should be based on respect and honesty, and this is
especially important when you decide to date
someone.
Reading: KEEPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Good relationships are fun and make you feel
good about yourself. The relationships that you
make in your youth years will be a special part of
your life and will teach you some of the most
important lessons about who you are. Truly good
relationships take time and energy to develop.
All relationships should be based on respect and
honesty, and this is especially important when
you decide to date
someone.
In a healthy relationship, both partners:
Are treated with kindness and respect
Are honest with each other
Like to spend time together
Take an interest in things that are important to
each other
Respect one another’s emotional, physical and
sexual limits
Can speak honestly about their feelings
•Love should never hurt
• Dating relationships can be wonderful! But
while it’s important that dating partners care
for each other, it’s just as important that you
take care of yourself! About 10% of high
school students say they have suffered
violence from someone they date. This
includes physical abuse where someone
causes physical pain or injury to another
person. This can involve hitting, slapping, or
kicking.
•Sexual abuse is also a type of violence, and involves
any kind of unwanted sexual advance. It can include
everything from unwelcome sexual comments to kissing
to intercourse. But abuse doesn’t always mean that
someone hits or hurts your body.
• Emotional abuse is anything that harms your self-
esteem or causes shame. This includes saying things
that hurt your feelings, make you feel that you aren’t
worthwhile, or trying to control who you see or where
you go. Remember, you deserve healthy, happy
relationships. Abuse of any type is never okay.
• ABUSE AND ASSAULT
• Love should never hurt. But sometimes it does:
• 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in
their lifetime
• 1.5 million women are sexually assaulted or otherwise
physically abused by their partners each year.
• Over 800,000 males are sexually or physically abused by
partners.
• Abuse can occur in any type of relationship--gay and
straight, casual and long-term, young and old.
• About 10% of high school students say that have suffered
violence from someone they date.
• If you are – or have been – in a relationship
where you were mistreated, it’s very easy to
blame yourself. The problem is with the abuser,
though, not you. It’s not your fault! Anyone can
be abused – boys and girls, men and women, gay
or straight, young and old – and anyone can
become an abuser.
•Break the Silence: Stop the
Violence
• It may shock you to know that one out
of every eleven teens reports being hit or
physically hurt by a boyfriend or
girlfriend in the past twelve months. But
why is that, and how can we change it?
In "Break The Silence: Stop the Violence,"
parents talk with teens about
developing healthy, respectful
relationships before they start dating.
 •READING ACTIVITY

HOW TO COMMUNICATE
• So what's to talk about?
• Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs): This is actually an issue
that all teenagers and adults must be aware of. Anybody who
engages in sexual activity is prone to have this one.
• Possibility of Pregnancy: Females who engage in sex have a high
percentage of putting themselves in this kind of situation.
• Right time for sex: You can consider your current status as a
student if it is really high time to be involved in this kind of activity.
Will this make or break your future?
• Boundaries: Making the decision to set your limits in a
relationship shows your maturity to assert your priorities and
respecting yourself.
 MAKING THE DECISION: DECIDING WHETHER OR NOT TO
HAVE SEX (LOVE OR LUST?)
The decision of whether or not to have sex is up to you, and you
alone. Therefore don’t be afraid to say "no" if that’s how you feel.
Having sex for the first time can be a huge emotional event. There are many
questions and feelings that you may want to sort out before you actually get
"in the heat of the moment." Ask yourself:
Am I really ready to have sex?

Am I doing this for the right reasons?

How am I going to feel after I having sex?
How do I plan to protect myself/my partner from sexually transmitted
infections or pregnancy?
How am I going to feel about my partner afterwards?
• The best way to prepare for the decision to have sex is to become
comfortable with communicating about your needs. If you don’t feel right
about something, say so! Anyone who challenges your choices about
whether or not to have sex is not giving you the respect that you deserve.
Pay attention to your feelings, and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for
making decisions that are right for you.
There are countless nonsexual ways to show someone you love
them. You can show a person you care for them by spending time
with them. Go to the movies. Or just hang out and talk. If you are
with someone you really like, then anything can be fun. There are
also ways to feel physically close without having sex. These include
everything from kissing and hugging to touching each other. Just
remember that if you're not careful these activities can lead to sex.
Plan beforehand just how far you want to go, and stick to your
limits. It can be difficult to say "No" and mean it when things get hot
and heavy.
 MAKING THE DECISION: DECIDING WHETHER
OR NOT TO HAVE SEX
TALKING TO YOUR PARENTS
You probably think that talking to your parents about sex is impossible.
You’re not alone; 83 percent of kids your age are afraid to ask their
parents about sex. Yet 51 percent of teens actually do. So... kids are not
only talking to their parents about sex, they're also benefiting from
conversations they were afraid to have in the first place! Lucky them,
right? The truth is that most parents want to help their kids make smart
decisions about sex. They know it's vital for teens to have accurate
information and sound advice to aid the decision-making process.
Peer pressure is always tough to deal with, especially when it comes to sex. Some
teenagers decide to have sexual relationships because their friends think sex is
cool. Others feel pressured by the person they are dating. Still others find it easier
to give in and have sex than to try to explain why not. Some teenagers get
caught up in the romantic feelings and believe having sex is the best way they
can prove their love.
• But remember: Not every person your age is having sex.
Even if sometimes it feels like everyone is "doing it," it is
important to realize that this is not true. People often talk
about sex in a casual manner, but this doesn't mean they
are actually having sex.
• Knowing how you feel about yourself is the first big step in
handling peer pressure. It's OK to want to enjoy your teen
years and all the fun times that can be had.
• It's OK to respect yourself enough to say, "No, I'm not ready
to have sex."
How to avoid peer or date pressure
If you're worried about being pressured or you are currently experiencing it,
know that you are not alone and there is something you can do about it.
Hang out with friends who also believe that it's OK to not be ready for sex yet.

Go out with a group of friends rather than only your date.

Introduce your friends to your parents.
Invite your friends to your home.
Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure
you.
Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel
uncomfortable.
Be ready to call your mom, dad or a friend to pick you up if you need to
leave a date.
Never feel obligated to "pay someone back" with sex in return for a date or
gift.
Say "no" and mean "no" if that's how you feel.
 DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
• In a survey of young people ages 15-24 by the Kaiser Family
Foundation, 9 out of 10 people surveyed reported that their peers use
alcohol or illegal drugs before sex at least some of the time. Seven out
of 10 also reported that condoms are not always used when alcohol
and drugs are involved. Twenty-nine percent of those teens and
young adults surveyed said that they've "done more" sexually while
under the influence of drugs or alcohol than they normally would
have when sober

The effects of drugs and alcohol can make it hard to think clearly, let
alone make the best possible decisions about sex. While you're under the
influence of drugs or alcohol it is easy to make a decision you'll regret
later--decisions that can lead to a sexually transmitted infection or an
unwanted pregnancy. Even worse, there are some people who will use
the effects of alcohol and other drugs to force you into having sex with
them.
 BASIC RIGHTS IN A RELATIONSHIP
• The right to emotional support
• The right to be heard by the other and to respond
• The right to have your own point of view, even if this differs
from your partner's
• The right to have your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real
• The right to live free from accusation and blame
• The right to live free from criticism and judgment
• The right to live free from emotional and physical threat
• The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage
• The right to be respectfully asked, rather than ordered
IN ADDITION TO THESE BASIC RELATIONSHIPS RIGHTS, CONSIDER
HOW YOU CAN DEVELOP PATIENCE, HONESTY, KINDNESS, AND
RESPECT. PATIENCE

• Patience: Patience is essential to a healthy relationship.

There are times when others will respond to us in a way that
is disappointing. When this occurs, it important to
communicate our disappointment, but also to give the other
person space. Be willing to give the person some time to
reflect, indicating that you are ready to talk when they are
ready. If the person is never ready to discuss the situation,
you may need professional help to resolve the issue, or ask
yourself whether or not you want to continue the relationship
Honesty: Honesty is another essential quality in
healthy relationships. To build honesty in a
relationship, you should communicate your feelings
openly, and expect the other person to do the same.
Over time, this builds trust.

Kindness: Kindness is extremely important to maintaining

healthy relationships. You need to be considerate of others'
feelings and other people need to be considerate of yours. Be
kind when you communicate. Kindness will nurture your
relationships. Note that being kind does not necessarily mean
being nice.
Respect: Respect is a cornerstone of all
healthy relationships. If you don't have respect
for another person, it will have a negative
impact on all of your interactions. Think of a
time when you encountered someone who
didn't respect you. How did it feel? What are
some ways that you show respect to others?

Key take aways:

“There are some people who live in a dream world,
and there are some who face reality; and then there
are those who turn one into the other.”
Daphne Emmett
•Portfolio Output: Poster on Basic
Rights in Relationships
•On a piece of 1/8 illustration board,
sketch, draw, or design a poster which
shows one’s basic rights in a relationship.
END OF LESSON 9
 Social
Relationships in
Middle and Late
Adolescence
 BIG QUESTION:

•How does understanding group

membership and leadership
improve social relationships?
• Objectives:
• At the end of this module, learners will be able to:
• 1. distinguish the various roles of different individuals in society
and how they can influence people through their leadership or
followership,
• 2. compare their self-perception and how others see them,
and
• 3. conduct a mini-survey on Filipino relationships (family, school,
and community).
READINGS
 READING: HOW CULTURE SHAPES MANY ASPECTS OF ADOLESCENT
DEVELOPMENT
• As you have known by now, the relationships adolescents have with
their peers, family, and members of their social sphere play a vital role
in their development. Adolescence is a crucial period in social
development, as adolescents can be easily swayed by their close
relationships. Research shows there are four main types of
relationships that influence an adolescent: parents, peers, community,
and society.
In this part of the module, we will focus on Community, Society,
and Culture.
There are certain characteristics of adolescent development that
are more rooted in culture than in human biology or cognitive
structures. Culture is learned and socially shared, and it affects
all aspects of an individual's life. Social responsibilities, sexual
expression, and belief-system development, for instance, are all
likely to vary based on culture. Furthermore, many
distinguishing characteristics of an individual (such as dress,
employment, recreation, and language) are all products of
culture.
• Many factors that shape adolescent development vary by
culture. For instance, the degree to which adolescents are
perceived as autonomous, or independent, beings varies widely
in different cultures, as do the behaviors that represent this
emerging autonomy. The lifestyle of an adolescent in a given
culture is also profoundly shaped by the roles and
responsibilities he or she is expected to assume. The extent to
which an adolescent is expected to share family
responsibilities, for example, is one large determining factor in
normative adolescent behavior: adolescents in certain cultures
are expected to contribute significantly to household chores
and responsibilities, while others are given more freedom or
come from families with more privilege where responsibilities
are fewer. Differences between families in the distribution of
financial responsibilities or provision of allowance may reflect
various socioeconomic backgrounds, which are further
influenced by cultural norms and values.
• Adolescents begin to develop unique belief systems
through their interaction with social, familial, and cultural
environments. These belief systems encompass
everything from religion and spirituality to gender,
sexuality, work ethics, and politics. The range of attitudes
that a culture embraces on a particular topic affects the
beliefs, lifestyles, and perceptions of its adolescents, and
can have both positive and negative impacts on their
development. As an example, early-maturing girls may
suffer teasing or sexual harassment related to their
developing bodies, contributing to a higher risk of
depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders.
 READING: TEENAGERS WHO JOIN YOUTH GROUPS AND OTHER CLUBS ARE HAPPIER AND LESS
LIKELY TO DRINK
• Teenagers who belong to youth groups and other clubs lead
happier lives and are less likely to drink or smoke, a research
shows. Although they may be exposed to more peer pressure,
researchers found they were also more socially able and likely
to be physically active. And the benefits increased the more
groups that they joined, the findings show.
Teens should be encouraged to join clubs, international
researchers, including a group from the University of
Hertfordshire, advise. The findings show that they were a fifth
less likely to smoke and to ever have been drunk than other
teenagers their age. They were also a fifth more likely to eat
fruit and vegetables regularly
• The study also found taking part in club activities increased
the youngsters' happiness levels. Those who rated their
lives as highly satisfactory were 51 per cent more likely to
belong to a sports club than those who were less happy.

The study looked at 15-year-olds across six countries –

England, Canada, Belgium, Italy, Poland and Romania.
However, the study suggests that not all clubs for young
people offered the same health benefits. Youngsters were
two thirds more likely to smoke if were members of political
organisations or youth clubs than if they joined no clubs at
all.
• “The present findings support the notion that
encouraging participation in a range of
associations is a useful and beneficial policy
goal especially for young people, increasing
their facility to access and become part of
wide-ranging networks,” the authors report in
their findings, published in the Journal of
Epidemiology and Community Health.
 READING: COMMUNITY ACTIVITY:
GET INVOLVED
• Getting involved in local community activities or
volunteering can boost your confidence and self-
esteem and help you build new skills. You can get
started by finding activities that interest you.
Community activities and civic responsibility
Community activity is part of ‘civic responsibility’. It’s
about doing things in our community because we want
to or feel we should, rather than because we have to
by law.
You can take civic responsibility and be active in your
community by:
joining a Youth Club, a scouting group or a local environmental or clean-up group
helping with a primary school play, or coordinating or coaching junior sport
setting up an arts space for the community or getting involved in youth radio

being part of a youth advisory group through the local council

promoting causes – for example, clean environment, recycling, get
active in sports

You might be interested in online civic or community activities – for example, an

online campaign to save a local area of wildlife. Online community involvement
can motivate you to get involved in face-to-face community activities.
 WHAT YOU CAN GET FROM BEING
INVOLVED IN COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES
• It doesn’t matter what you do. Any involvement is good!
When you get involved in community activities, you get a lot
of personal rewards and feelings of achievement
Role models
By getting involved with community activities, you can come into contact with like-
minded peers and positive adult role models other than your parents. Interacting and
cooperating with other adults encourages you to see the world in different ways. It
puts your own family experiences and values into a wider context. For example, your
family might have certain religious or spiritual beliefs – or none at all – but when you
come into contact with others who believe different things, perhaps through some
charity work, you might see some new ways of putting beliefs into action for the good
of others.
 IDENTITY AND CONNECTION
• Young people are busy working out who they are and where
they fit in the world. They try out different identities,
experiment with different styles of dress and might try out a
range of different activities and hobbies.
• Being involved in community activities can give you a positive
way of understanding who you are. As a result, you might
come to see yourself as helpful, generous, political or just a
‘good’ person in general. Being involved in community
activities can also help create a sense of being connected to
your local community and the wider world.
SKILLS
• Community activities give you the chance to apply the skills you already
have. For example, you could use the cooking skills you have learned at
home at a community feeding program or at a school fund-raising project.
Voluntary work and community activities are also great opportunities to
show initiative and develop skills to get a job. For example, the school
fund-raising project could give you experience in speaking to customers
and handling cash. Volunteering for the community feeding project might
help you prepare for getting a part-time job as a waiter. For those who are
interested in being a vet, helping out at an animal shelter or washing and
walking local dogs is a good way to demonstrate commitment and get a
reference.
• Being able to manage free time while balancing leisure, work and study
is an important life skill. Being part of community activities could motivate
you to get more organized and start to manage your own time.
SELF-CONFIDENCE, MENTAL HEALTH AND
WELLBEING
• Community activities can boost one’s self-confidence. You can
learn to deal with challenges, communicate with different people
and build up your life skills and abilities in a supportive
environment. This is also good for your self-esteem. It’s also a
great foundation for general and mental health and wellbeing. It
can be very positive psychologically for you to have something
that gets you involved, where others expect you to turn up and
take part, and where you’re supported to achieve something as
part of a group. These positive feelings can help protect you from
sadness and depression. Being involved in some kind of
community activity can also reduce the likelihood of substance
abuse, mental illness and criminal activity.
PORTFOLIO OUTPUT NO. 20: DESCRIPTION OF
MY SOCIAL GROUP

•Write about one of your social

groups, it’s nature, activities, and
benefits. Include a photo of
yourself with the group
 READING: LESSONS ON
LEADERSHIP AND MEMBERSHIP
FROM FABLES
• Can you identify the lesson being taught by each
story?
• What is a true leader?
• How do we know that a leader is a true leader?
• How do we know that the person we are following
is worth our trust and loyalty?
 1. THE FARMER AND THE STORK

• A Farmer placed nets on his newly sown plough lands, and caught a
quantity of Cranes, which came to pick up his seed. With them he
trapped a Stork also. The Stork having his leg fractured by the net,
earnestly besought the Farmer to spare his life. “Pray, save me,
Master,” he said, “and let me go free this once. My broken limb
should excite your pity. Besides, I am no Crane, I am a Stork, a bird
of excellent character; and see how I love and slave for my father
and mother. Look too, at my feathers, they are not the least like to
those of a Crane.” The Farmer laughed aloud, and said, “It may be
all as you say; I only know this, I have taken you with these robbers,
the Cranes, and you must die in their company.”
 2. THE HUNTER AND THE WOODSMAN

A hunter, not very bold, was searching for the tracks of

a Lion. He asked a man felling oaks in the forest if he
had seen any marks of his footsteps or knew where
his lair was. “I will,” said the man, “at once show you
the Lion himself.” The Hunter, turning very pale and
chattering with his teeth from fear, replied, “No, thank
you. I did not ask that; it is his track only I am in search
of, not the Lion himself.”
 3. BEAR AND MAN LYING DOWN
Two men were traveling together, when a bear suddenly met
them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree,
and concealed himself in the branches. The other, seeing that
he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear
came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he
held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much
as he could. The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not
touch a dead body. When he was quite gone, the other traveler
descended from the tree, and accosting his friend, jocularly
inquired “what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear?” he
replied, “He gave me this advice: Never travel with a friend
who deserts you at the approach of danger.”
 4. GOATHERD AND THE WILD GOATS
A Goatherd, driving his flock from their pasture at eventide, found some Wild
Goats mingled among them, and shut them up together with his own for the
night. The next day it snowed very hard, so that he could not take the herd to
their usual feeding places, but was obliged to keep them in the fold. He gave
his own goats just sufficient food to keep them alive, but fed the strangers
more abundantly in the hope of enticing them to stay with him and of making
them his own. When the thaw set in, he led them all out to feed, and the Wild
Goats scampered away as fast as they could to the mountains. The
Goatherd scolded them for their ingratitude in leaving him, when during the
storm he had taken more care of them than of his own herd. One of them,
turning about, said to him: “That is the very reason why we are so cautious;
for if you yesterday treated us better than the Goats you have had so long, it
is plain also that if others came after us, you would in the same manner
prefer them to ourselves.”
 5. THE GNAT AND THE BULL

• A Gnat settled on the horn of a Bull, and sat

there a long time. Just as he was about to fly
off, he made a buzzing noise, and inquired of
the Bull if he would like him to go. The Bull
replied, “I did not know you had come, and I
shall not miss you when you go away.”
 6. THE MAN AND THE LITTLE CAT
• One day, an old man was having a stroll in the forest when he
suddenly saw a little cat stuck in a hole. The poor animal was
struggling to get out. So, he gave him his hand to get him out.
But the cat scratched his hand with fear. The man pulled his
hand screaming with pain. But he did not stop; he tried to give
a hand to the cat again and again. Another man was watching
the scene, screamed with surprise, “Stop helping this cat!
He’s going to get himself out of there”. The other man did not
care about him, he just continued saving that animal until he
finally succeeded, and then he walked to that man and said,
“Son, it is cat’s Instincts that makes him scratch and to hurt,
and it is my job to love and care”.
 READING: SERVANT LEADERSHIP
• While the idea of servant leadership goes back at least two thousand
years, the modern servant leadership movement was launched by
Robert K. Greenleaf in 1970 with the publication of his classic essay,
The Servant as Leader. It was in that essay that he coined the
words "servant-leader" and "servant leadership." Greenleaf defined the
servant-leader as follows:
• "The servant-leader is servant first... It begins with the natural
feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice
brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one
who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual
power drive or to acquire material possessions...The leader-first and the
servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings
and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature."
• If there is a single characteristic of the servant-
leader that stands out in Greenleaf's essay, it is the
desire to serve. A walk through The Servant as
Leader provides a fairly long list of additional
characteristics that Greenleaf considered important.
They include listening and understanding;
acceptance and empathy; foresight; awareness and
perception; persuasion; conceptualization; self-
healing; and rebuilding community.
Greenleaf described a philosophy, not a theory. However, based on the views of a
number of scholars, the elements that are most unique to servant leadership
compared with other theories are:

(1) the moral component, not only in terms of the personal morality
and integrity of the servant-leader, but also in terms of the way in
which a servant-leader encourages enhanced moral reasoning
among his or her followers, who can therefore test the moral basis of
the servant-leader's visions and organizational goals;

(2) the focus on serving followers for their own good, not just the good
of the organization, and forming long-term relationships with
followers, encouraging their growth and development so that over
time they may reach their fullest potential;
• (3) concern with the success of all
stakeholders, broadly defined—employees,
• customers, business partners, communities,
and society as a whole—including those
• who are the least privileged; and
• (4) self-reflection, as a counter to the leader's
hubris.
 SERVANT LEADERSHIP
SERVANT LEADERSHIP IS NOT ABOUT “I”,
NOR IS IT ABOUT “WE”.
• Portfolio output: IT IS ABOUT “THEM”.

• A poster or slogan on the things you learned about a

• leader that fits in the description “servant leader.”?
•
END