How To Have A Healthy Relationship in Your 20's

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How to Have a Healthy Relationship in your 20’s


by Sabria Sparrow | Feb 9, 2020 | Relationships | 42 comments

Relationships are one of Human’s most desired forms of intimacy. To have

someone to love, share your dreams and aspirations, and ultimately call a life

partner, is something most of us consider a blessing.

However, that’s not all it is; Relationships, even in their easiest forms, are hard

work. Especially when you’re young, and still trying to gure things out.

That’s why, in honor of Valentines Day, I’ve put together a blog post with some

things I’ve learned about being in a relationship during the past 3 ½ years. I
believe if you have these things, you can foster a healthy relationship that’s
not only ful lling, but completely worth it.
The Foundation

1. Mutual Trust and Respect


Before anything else, trust and respect are the most important aspects of a

relationship because they determine how you will respond to each other.
You want to be in a relationship where you feel heard and understood, where

you know your partner is going to take you into consideration, and where you
can assume best intentions.

When you have these things, you know you can come to each other with

compassion and understanding, because you trust that your partner always

has your best interest at heart.

You should always, at the very least, feel reassured in your relationship, and

should work hard to make sure that your partner is reassured as well.

2. Similar Values
Something else that I feel has worked well for me and Myles, is having the

same values when it comes to our views and outlooks on the world.

This is not to say you should have the same exact opinions on everything,

however, your core ethics and morals should be in alignment.

Otherwise you may nd that they think certain things are okay that you do not,
and vice versa, and this can cause a strain on your perception of them,

and/or the overall relationship.

Being on the same page when it comes to things will make your relationship

that much more smooth sailing, especially when it comes to making decisions

based on values.
3. Friendship
I think the fact that me and Myles were good friends before getting into a

relationship, makes the relationship that much more rich. He is literally my

best friend, and I nd that the most successful relationships operate this way.

Of course, it’s not pivotal that your relationship begins as a friendship,

however, I think it’s an important aspect to incorporate before anything else.

This way, you don’t see your partner as this perfect person that you have to be

on your best behavior around at all times, but someone that you’re

comfortable with, knows you and all of your quirks and aws, and loves you
anyway.

The Upkeep

4. Talk About Everything


Communicating is talking about any, and everything, including the things that
you’re afraid too, are embarrassed about or think might even make you sound

crazy.

When me and Myles rst got together, we were just 19, and our perspectives

on things have changed massively since then. In addition, things have been

thrown our way that we never experienced before and have had to tackle it in
a whole new way.
While every relationship will have their fair share of resentment or things left

unsaid after being together for some time, it’s so important to communicate

as you move forward so you can set boundaries, and gure out together what
the next steps should be.

So even if you are being crazy or unreasonable about something, it’s

something you can resolve together, and gure out what it is that’s making

you feel that way. This way, at least you’ve talked about it, and are minimizing

chances for resentment in the future.

5. Have a Life Outside of Eachother


No matter how much you love each other, your life should never revolve around

one single person for the sake of sanity. Sometimes you just need some time

for yourself, your own personal hobbies or goals, or your friends and that is
completely okay.

Being your own person outside of your relationship is healthy for yourself and

your relationship because it keeps you from being solely dependent on one

another.

Your relationship should never be a distraction from the other things you value

in life, but otherwise an asset/extension of it.


6. Do What Works Best For Your Relationship
With social media, it seems today that everyone has an opinion on how

relationships should and should not operate. However, it’s so important to

remember that that’s just what they are: opinions. Your relationship is your

relationship and it should operate in ways that work best for you and your

partner.

You guys are in charge of coming to an agreement and setting your own

boundaries because it’s you guys that has to deal with the repercussions

when boundaries are not set.

Twitter would ip out if they knew some of the things me and Myles have
agreed on as okay or not okay for our relationship, but they are things that are

healthy and bene cial for us, and that’s really all that matters.

7. Understand Each Other’s Love Language


It’s so important to constantly learn about your partner so you can minimize
uncertainties, communicate better, and better serve each other in the

relationship.

For example, me and Myles are extreme opposites in the sense that he’s

extremely quiet, and I’m extremely talkative.

So when he’s being extra quiet, I have to remind myself that’s how he is.
Oppositely, he works hard to give me more animated reactions because he
knows sometimes that’s what I need.
When you understand each other’s love language, and work hard to

accommodate them, it enhances the relationship, and makes for better overall
interactions.

8. Be Each Other’s Biggest Fan


When you are in a relationship, you become each other’s primary support
system. You might have friends and family, but your partner is who you are in

constant communication with.

That’s why it’s so important to be each other’s moral support, and to work
toward building up your dreams together.

Me and Myle’s are literally each other’s biggest fans and because of that, we
feed o of each other’s energy and allow it to push us further in the directions

we want to go.

Let your partner know, both through actions and emotional support that you

have eachothers back. It feels good to know that you have someone on your
team rooting you, and it makes your bond that much stronger knowing that

you’re in this together.

9. Do Your Part
Like I’ve mentioned, relationships are hard work and it de nitely takes both
sides holding up their end of the bargain to see success.

With that being said, give as much as you take, and make sure to always do
your part in the relationship.

That means being there for your partner, ful lling their needs, and making
sure they are getting as much satisfaction out of the union than you are.

Of course, it won’t be 50/50 every single day, but, going back to my rst point,
when both parties give equal e ort, you feel more ful lled in your relationship

knowing your partner is trying as hard as you are, because the focus equally
becomes satisfying each other, than just satisfying yourself.

10. Never Stop Trying to Make it Work


Anyone who’s in a relationship knows that they bring out the best and the
worst parts of yourself. It’s natural and healthy to not love every single thing

about each other. Nobody’s relationship is perfect.

You will disagree, have uncomfortable conversations, and have days where it
just feels like you and your partner just aren’t on the same wavelength.

However, the right one re ects back to you things about yourself, and you will
constantly have to work on the relationship, by working on yourself.
So periodically check in with your partner, ask them if they’re still happy, be

grateful and appreciative of even the small things, and remember that it is a
joint e ort to keep this thing going.

It’s when both parties put their best foot forward and refrain from giving up in
tough times, that they can maintain a healthy and successful relationship.

With that being said, a healthy relationship is about having someone to laugh

and share memories with, to build with, and to know you’re not alone. But it’s
also about sharing yourself with another person, learning to compromise,

learning things not just about them, but yourself, and putting your pride aside
to make it work.

When both of you are trying your best, the ups and down are worth it.

Happy Valentines Day!

With love,

Sabria Sparrow

Follow me on instagram

sabriasparrow

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