DBT dialetical

FLASH
behavior theraphy

CARDS MINDFULNESS

MINDFULNESS DISTRESS TOLERANCE

DISTRESS TOLERANCE INTERPERSONAL

INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS EFFECTIVENESS

EMOTIONAL REGULATION EMOTIONAL REGULATION

DBT CHEAT SHEET

WHAT IS DBT? MINDFULNESS
THE ‘WHAT’ SKILL
uses facts
emotional THE ‘WISE MIND’
draws on past
Observe - sensing or THE ‘HOW’ SKILL

DBT stands for Dialectical behaviour therapy.

experiences intuitive anxious

The balance experiencing.

balanced
RATIONAL WISE EMOTIONAL
MIND MIND
mindful
MIND between the rational Describe - putting words Non-Judgmental,
thinks statistics rational sadness reactive
and the emotional on what you observe. One-Mindful and

The main goals are to teach people how to

logically

knowledgeable stressed mind. The place of Participate -Let yourself Effective.

inner wisdom. get involved in the
moment.

live peacefully in the moment, develop

DISTRESS TOLERANCE EMOTIONAL REGULATION
healthy coping strategies to deal with stress, EMOTIONS HAVE A FUNCTION
THE GUIDE TO HEALTHY
regulate their emotions, and improve RELATIONSHIPS STOP
Stop, take a breath, observe, proceed

relationships with others.

ACCEPTS
Activities, contributing comparisons, OPPOSITE REACTION
emotions, pushing away, thoughts, sensa- Choosing to do exactly the opposite of
tions what your emotions tell you to do

SELF-SOOTHE WITH YOUR 5 SENSES

The term “dialectical” comes from the idea
ABC PLEASE
Vision, hearing, smell, feel and taste Accumulate positive experiences, build
Mastery, cope ahead - positive self talk

that integrating two opposites -- acceptance

PROS/CONS
Make a list of the pros and cons of acting VITALS TO SUCCESS
on your urges. Validate yourself, imagine, take small steps,
and change, will generate better results than TIPP
applaud yourself, lighten theload, sweeten
the pot
Tip the temperature, intense exercise,
either one alone. Paced breathing, paired muscle relax-
ation
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
BUILD AND MAINTAIN POSITIVE
RELATIONSHIPS
IMPROVE
Imagery, meaning, prayer, relaxing ac- DEAR MAN

There are four skills taught in DBT:

tions, one thing in the moment, vacation, Describe, express, assert, reinforce, stay
self encouragement and rethinking mindful, appear confident, negotiate

- Mindfulness, Distress tolerance, RADICAL ACCEPTANCE

Stop fighting reality and accept it for
GIVE
Be gentle, act interested, validate, use easy
what it is
Interpersonal effectiveness and Emotional
manner

PROBLEM SOLVING FAST

regulation.
Figure out if there is a way to change the Fair, apologies, sticking to your values, and
situation truthful.

BOUNDARY BUILDING SKILL

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 MINDFULNESS
MINDFULNESS
wise mind ‘WHAT’ SKILL
The balance between reason and emotion

Observe - sensing or experiencing.

uses facts
emotional
Observe your emotion or thought
draws on past intuitive
experiences
balanced
anxious without judging it.
RATIONAL WISE EMOTIONAL
MIND MIND MIND
thinks
logically statistics
mindful
reactive
Describe - putting words on what
rational sadness

knowledgeable stressed
you observe. Use descriptive words
to explain your internal experience.

OBSERVE DESCRIBE PARTICIPATE

Participate -Let yourself get
involved in the moment.
Your bodies What you observe Engage fully
sensations and are feeling in the moment Stay in the ‘NOW’.

MINDFULNESS
MINDFULNESS
‘how’ SKILL
Mindfulness simply means
Non-Judgmental - Take a non-
focusing your mind to the present
judgmental stance. Observing your
moment and recognizing when it
thoughts and emotions objectively.
is wondering off or being caught
up in another thought and
One-Mindful - Focus on one thing at
bringing it back to your present
a time. By engaging in a task
experience.
mindfully, you strengthen your ability
to engage in one practice at a time.
Applying mindfulness in DBT can
help with emotional dysregulation
Effective - applying your mindful
by helping to relinquish the
concepts, learning, and sharpening
struggle with painful emotions.
your practice.

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 Close your eyes and imagine you Imagine you are about to blow
are a turtle swimming through a whistle.
the ocean.
Breathe in slowly through your
Breathe in slowly and fill your nose as you fill up your belly with air.
belly with as much air as you can.
Breathe out slowly through your
Blow out slowly through your mouth and imagine the sound
mouth and watch the bubbles coming out of the whistle.
float through the water.

full body stretch

Stand up straight.
Place both feet shoulder width apart.

Find your balance.

Slowly stretch your arms up high,
imagine you are trying to touch the sky.
RAINBOW
GROUNDING TECHNIQUE
Stretch so high that you have to stand
on your tiptoes. Take a deep breath and identify
all of these colours in order.
Wriggle your fingertips and feel the
stretch in your toes, calves, back,
shoulders, arms and fingers.

Relax for 10 seconds.

Repeat 10 times or until you feel calm
Have a look around.
How many items could you find?
again.

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 ACCEPT dbt skill senses
Work through your distress with Shift the focus from your mind onto
this activity something entirely different

a ctivities
Participate in hobbies that you enjoy,
for example watch a movie or play
cards.
vision
Stimulate your eyes. Go for a walk through
the park. Cut out some interesting pictures
from a magazine. Look at some art.

c ontributing
Contribute to society, do volunteer
work or offer to do something nice
for a friend. HEARING
Go outside and listen to the birds, the wind or
even the waves at the beach. Listen to your
favourite music or play an instrument.

c omparisons
Compare yourself to others less
fortunate than you, or to others who
are coping the same or less well than you.
SMELL
Light some candles or smell some essential
oils. Cook your favourite meal. Go outside

e
and smell the flowers or the fresh air.
Watch an inspirational movie, book or
motions music that create a better emotion or
feeling.
Eat something yummy. Take your time and
try to focus on tasting every little bit of
taste
p Ask yourself these questions. Can I do flavour. Feel the different textures in your
ushing away anything about this right now? mouth.
Is it a good time to work on this?

Feel your favourite blanket and piece of

t touch
Distract your thoughts by fabric. Pat your cat or dog, go outside and
houghts engaging in some mindfulness pick up different objects from the tree and
activities. feel all the different textures.

DISTRESS TOLERANCE DBT SKILLS

PROS AND CONS

Tolerating vs. not tolerating distress
T.I.P.P
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS BY CHANGING YOUR BODY CHEMISTRY

TIP THE TEMPERATURE

When you examine the pros and cons, you Hold your breath and place your face in a
are looking at the consequences of the t bowl of cold water. Alternatively you could
try holding an ice pack on your cheeks for
potential actions. 30 seconds.

INTENSE EXERCISE
Focus on long term goals. Work up a sweat. Use your energy by doing

PROS cons
I a cardio workout, such as running, lifting
weights, or playing a physically demanding
sport.

DOING A PACED BREATHING

CONTROL YOUR BREATHING. Breathe in
PROBLEM
BEHAVIOUR p deeply through your nose for four seconds
and then breathe out through your mouth
for six seconds.

not DOING A PAIRED MUSCLE RELAXATION

PROBLEM
BEHAVIOUR
p While your focusing on your breathing, Try
to tense the muscles in your body. Focus on
how your tension feels.

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 DISTRESS TOLERANCE SKILL DISTRESS TOLERANCE

I.M.P.R.O.V.E ACCEPTANCE MINDSET

IMAGERY FOCUSING ON ACCEPTING THE
i Imagine your safe place that has everything that you need in
the one spot. or imagine yourself coping successfully in the
difficult situation that you are in right now.
THE PAST PRESENT

I DON’T THINK THIS IS HOW

MEANING I CAN DO IT IT HAS TO BE

m Try and find meaning in the moment, look at your values

and purpose. focus on the things that are important to you.
THE PAIN OF THE I CAN’T CHANGE
PAST IS TOO MUCH WHAT HAS
PRAYER

p
TO HANDLE ALREADY HAPPENED
Prayer can mean different things to everybody. It may be to
pray to the higher god, or maybe it means praying to find
strength within yourself in that moment. I WISH I COULD
THE PRESENT IS THE
ONLY MOMENT
CHANGE WHAT HAS
RELAXING ACTIONS I HAVE CONTROL
HAPPENED

r
OVER
Do something relaxing for yourself to try and find peace and
calm. Read a book, have a bath, listen to music or go for a
walk.
MY PAST I CAN SURVIVE
HAUNTS ME THE PRESENT
ONE THING IN THE MOMENT
o Mindfully focus on the moment, try and keep your attention
on the task you are doing.
MOVING I DON’T HAVE
FORWARD IS TOO CONTROL OVER
HARD THE PAST
VACATION
v Give yourself a short vacation. switch off your phone, give
yourself a mini break that you know you deserve.
I ALWAYS MAKE
THIS MOMENT IS
THE RESULT OF
MISTAKES OVER A MILLION
OVER DECISIONS
SELF ENCOURAGEMENT AND RETHINKING
e Practice positive self talk. Say things such as “ I am braver
than I think”, or “I can do this”.

RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
DISTRESS TOLERANCE
COPING statements DBT PROBLEM SOLVING WORKSHEET

DEFINE THE PROBLEM IN DETAIL. WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY AND HOW.

THIS IS HOW IT HAS TO BE

I CAN’T CHANGE WHAT HAS WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE?

ALREADY HAPPENED

THE PRESENT IS THE ONLY

MOMENT I HAVE CONTROL OVER WHAT SOLUTION DID YOU USE AND WAS IT EFFECTIVE. IF SO, HOW?

I CAN SURVIVE THE PRESENT, EVEN

IF I DON’T LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING HOW WAS YOUR SOLUTION NOT EFFECTIVE? WHY?

I DON’T HAVE CONTROL

OVER THE PAST
HOW COULD YOU HANDLE THE PROBLEM BETTER NEXT TIME?

THIS MOMENT IS THE RESULT OF

OVER A MILLION OTHER DECISIONS

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 RADICAL ACCEPTANCE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
COPING STATEMENTS WORKSHEET
FIGHTING THE PAST ONLY BLINDS MY PRESENT What happened? What led up to the situation?
What’s the situation?
I CAN HANDLE WHAT IS IN FRONT OF ME AS IT IS
LIFE IS WORTH LIVING, EVEN IF I AM IN PAIN
EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST,
HAS LEDUP TO THIS POINT NOW
I CAN LIVE IN THE PRESENT, DESPITE THE PAIN
I AM EXPERIENCING
I CAN HAVE PAIN WITHOUT IT TURNING INTO SUFFERING. What was your role, and what role What do you and don’t you have
did other people play? control over?
1 CAN SURVIVE THE PRESENT, EVEN IF I AM UNHAPPY
WITH WHAT IS HAPPENING
THE PRESENT IS THE RESULT OF SO MANY THINGS
THAT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED
1 CAN’T CHANGE WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST
I CAN LEARN FROM THE PAST TO SOLVE MY PRESENT
What was your response to the How can you use radical acceptance
AND FUTURE PROBLEMS
situation and how did it make you to respond differently in the future?
ACCEPTANCE ALLOWS ME TO BE FREE FROM THE feel?

SHACKLES OF DENIAL
MY PAST DOES NOT DEFINE MY FUTURE
HOW I REACT IN THIS MOMENT IS ALL I HAVE CONTROL OVER
I SEE THE PRESENT MOMENT FOR WHAT IT IS

THINGS THAT CAN TRIGGER YOUR WINDOW OF TOLERANCE

TRAUMA
The Window of Tolerance, is referred to as the ‘optimal zone’ of
arousal in which a person is able to function most effectively and
emotions can be processed in a healthy way.

HYPERAROUSAL
- Feelings of extreme anxiousness with
Sounds People Thoughts possible panic attacks.
- Feel overwhelmed and out of control.
- Want to fight or run away.

DYSREGULATION
Hearing certain music or Being around people Certain memories or - Feelings of frustration and agitation
sounds that remind you that are linked to or thoughts can bring back increase.
of past trauma have similarities related old trauma - Uncomfortable feelings start to increase
to your trauma but still in control.

WINDOW OF TOLERANCE
- Feel present, calm and safe.
Situations Feelings Smells -Stress
- In total control. -Mindfulness
THINGS THINGS - Grounding
- Things that
THAT THAT exercises
trigger trauma
SHRINK CAN EXPAND -Gratitude
- Anxiety
YOUR YOUR - Positive self
-Rejection
WINDOW
-Abandonment WINDOW talk
Being in a situation Just feeling pain Certain smells are -Deep breathing
that makes you feel unrelated to your trau- strongly linked to
unsafe ma can be enough to re our memories
trigger your trauma

DYSREGULATION
- Getting close to the stage of shutting down.
Places Death Media - Uncomfortable feelings start to increase
butstill in control.

Places that have The death of Seeing something on HYPERAROUSAL

similarities to anyone involved in social media, movie - Feel physically numb and frozen.
where the trauma the trauma can re scenes or news reports - Feel disconnected and zoned out.
took place trigger pain that are similar to your - Lethargic and no energy
trauma

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 DISTRESS TOLERANCE SKILL
OPPOSITE REACTION
S.T.O.P DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOUR
EMOTIONS TELL YOU TO DO
WHAT HAPPENED? IDENTIFY YOUR IDENTIFY YOUR
STOP EMOTIONS NATURAL URGE

S Interrupt your negative thinking with the

command STOP! and pause with what you
were doing.

TAKE A BREATH
t Practice some deep breathing techniques to
slow your heart rate down.
SHOULD I FOLLOW
MY URGE?

NATURAL ACTION/URGE OPPOSITE ACTION/URGE

OBSERVE

o
Observe your thoughts, feelings and behav-
ior. How does your body feel?

OUTCOME

Did i notice a decrease in my emotions? Did i notice a decrease in my emotions?

PROCEED
p Purposefully and mindfully proceed with
your next activity, one step at a time. Would i act the same way next time? Would i act the same way next time?

EMOTIONAL REGULATION DISTRESS TOLERANCE SKILL

ABC PLEASE V.I.T.A.L.S

What are some nice things that you can do right now?
TO SUCCESS

a v
VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS
“ I feel sad and angry”
ACCUMULATE What changes can you make in your life so that positive events will happen
POSITIVE more often in the future.

EMOTIONS
IMAGINE
i Imagine yourself doing it peacefully and
productively.
What things can you do to feel competent and effective
to combat helplessness and hopelessness.

b t TAKE SMALL STEPS

Break it down into small steps
What activities can you do today, next week and in a months time?
BUILD
MASTERY

a APPLAUD YOURSELF
Give yourself a pat on the back for your efforts

Make a plan ahead of time so that you are prepared

to cope with emotional situations.

c l LIGHTEN THE LOAD

Reduce your stressful feelings

COPE AHEAD OF
TIME WITH
EMOTIONAL
SITUATIONS s SWEETEN THE POT
Reward your efforts

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS SKILL INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS SKILL

D.E.A.R M.A.N
DECRIBE
G.I.V.E
d Describe the situation simply. stick to the facts by avoiding
opinion and interpretation.
GENTLE
Be more gentle and treat the other person

EXPRESS
G with respect. Don’t threaten, attack or
express judgment during your interactions
e Express how you are feeling by using an “I” statement.
Don’t assume that the other person knows how you feel.
with other people.

ASSERT
a INTERESTED

I
Say what you need. don’t beat around the bush. be firm
Listen and look interested in the other
and clear.
person. Show interest in other people’s point
of view by listening without interrupting.
REINFORCE
r Reward people who respond well, and explain the positive
effects of getting what you want or need.
VALIDATE
Show other people that you understand by

m
MINDFUL
Maintain your position and keep your mind on your goals.
Don’t steer off from the objective of the interaction.
V validating their thoughts and feelings. Try
to recognise when you are demanding, and
respect their opinions.

APPEAR
a Use a confident voice, body language and make good eye
contact, this will help you appear confident. EASY MANNER

NEGOTIATE
E Be light hearted, smile and show an easy
manner by using a little humour. leave your

n Remember that you aren’t demanding anything, you are

asking for something. be open to negotiation.
attitude at the door.

INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS SKILL INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

F.A.S.T BOUNDARIES TYPES OF BOUNDARIES

FAIR
Be more fair to yourself and to others.
f validate your own feelings and wishes, as
well as the feelings and wishes of other
PSYCHOLOGICAL BOUNDARIES

Whether or not you choose to

share information about yourself,
EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES

Refers to how much you let other

people affect you and manipulate
EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES

Refers to your body, privacy, and

personal space. Do you allow
people. such as your personal values,
views, opinions, thoughts and
your thinking. For example, is it
easy for other people to make you
people to touch you or show public
affection. What is your comfort
beliefs. feel guilty about a situation? with people getting close to you?

APOLOGIES BEING MINDFUL OF THE SITUATION

a STOP making unnecessary apologies, you
do not need to apologize for having an
opinion, or disagreeing. Refers to the idea is that you can choose to open up your boundaries to the people that
also trust you with theirs. Try to be mindful of the extent to which you are flexible with your
boundaries, they should be at a level that you feel comfortable and safe with.

STICK TO YOUR VALUES NEGOTIATING BOUNDARIES

Be clear on what you believe is the moral
s or valued way of thinking and acting. Don’t
change your values just to be liked. Stand up
Boundaries can always be changed and negotiated, they do not need to be fixed.
Some people might influence your to open up your boundaries to allow them to get closer
to you, whilst other oeople might have the opposite affect on you which will force your
for what you believe in. boundaries to become more closed off.

TEA
CHE
FRIENDS R
ICE
POL
TRUTH
t
AUNTIE
S SIBLINGS

Avoid dishonesty. Be truthful by avoiding DAD ME MUM

exaggerations, excuses, and lies. MEN

TOR

NEIGHBOUR

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
DIALECTICAL THINKING UNHELPFUL
- WHERE TWO OPPOSITES CAN CO-EXIST THINKING STYLES
I AM TRYING I STILL WANT
MY BEST TO DO BETTER MENTAL FILTER JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS EMOTIONAL REASONING
Focusing on your failures while Assuming that you know what other Believing that just because you feel
avoiding to see your success, or people are thinking. Making negative a certain way then justifying that
focusing only on the negatives of a predictions about the future your thoughts must then be true.
situation whilst filtering out the or what others think about you. Thus, you base your view of situa-
positives. tions, yourself, or others, on the way
I MISS SEEING I NEED MY you are feeling.

YOU SPACE

I CARE ABOUT I AM FOCUSING LABELLING BLAMING CATASTROPHIZING

OTHERS ON MYSELF Defining yourself and others based
on a single event or behavior, such
Placing the blame on other people
instead of owning up to your mis-
Only seeing the worst possible out-
come of an event or situation and
as reducing yourself or other people takes or sharing the responsibility. then deciding that if this outcome
to a single, negative, characteristic Taking on the victim mentality. does happen, the results will be a
or descriptor, like “crazy” or “stupid.” disaster. Worries become escalated

I CAN and thoughts become exaggerated.

I AM FEELING
OVERCOME
ANXIOUS
THESE FEELINGS

OVERGENERALIZING BLACK AND WHITE SHOULD STATEMENTS

I ACCEPT I AM GOING The process of concluding that just Seeing things as either good or bad, Believing that things should be a
because something happened to right or wrong or all or nothing. It certain way. Using ‘should’, ‘must’
THINGS TO MAKE CHANGES you once before, it will occur over fails to see the whole picture and or ‘ought’ statements directed at
and over again. It is negative by only seeing black or white you yourself. For example: “I should
thinking based on only 1 or 2 experi- ignore the middle ground, possible have arrived to the meeting earlier,”
ences. The words “always” or “never” the more reasonable ground. or, “I must lose weight to be more
appear frequently. attractive.”

THEY ARE THEY STILL

UPSET WITH ME LOVE ME

PERSONALIZATION FALLACY OF CHANGE FALLACY OF FAIRNESS

I WANT TO SPEND I STILL NEED

Taking things personally and think- You expect that other people will This cognitive distortion refers to
ing that what other people do is a change to suit you if you just pres- measuring every behavior and

TIME WITH YOU TIME ALONE

result of your own actions. You may sure or manipulate them enough. situation on a scale of
blame yourself for things that This distortion is usually accompa- fairness. Individuals believe that
were totally out of your control. nied by a belief that your happiness things should be fair, and if they
For example, you blame yourself for and success rests on other people, aren’t, it’s not your fault.
your child’s bad grade at school. leading you to believe that forcing
those around us to change is the
only way to get what you want.

Things I can NOT control

- SO I CAN LET GO OF THESE THINGS
non-DIALECTICAL
THINKING
What other The
people past
Wha
think t ot
peop her
le
belie
Other people’s ve

+ =
actions

What
Things I can The

control
er
other’s weath
post
online

SO I CAN LET GO OF THESE THINGS

Who I spend My goals
time with
My values My values and Death
beliefs
and My honesty
beliefs My thoughts
My
Boundaries

DIALECTICAL THINKING
tions What I post My
My ac
online age
What I say
How people about
react to my other people How i spend my
boundaries What I spare time
say Other
people’s
opinions
The

+ =
future
The results
Predicting of a
what sports
will happen match

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 PROS AND CONS BOUNDARY RESPONSES
DISTRESS TOLERANCE SKILL THAT YOU CAN USE
The Pros and Cons skill can help individuals respond to difficult situa-
tions and feelings in a more effective way. Naturally, many people use
pros and cons to assess situations and behavior, such as whether or not “LET ME CHECK MY DIARY AND GET BACK TO YOU.”
they should choose to proceed with something. However, the DBT pros “I DON’T LIKE THAT, CAN WE TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT.”
and cons is a little different as this skill also assess the pros and cons of
tolerating vs not tolerating distress (coping vs not coping). For example, “I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO COME, BUT I HAVE ALREADY
imagine that your natural urge or behavior was to verbally speak up COMMITTED MYSELF TO SOMETHING ELSE AT THAT TIME.”
and give your friend a piece of your mind because they said something
“I CAN ONLY STAY FOR A LITTLE BIT.”
that was very upsetting to you. The comment said, made you upset
and hurtful experiences and feelings from your past were re triggered. “I REALLY CAN’T TALK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. IT ISN’T
Of course, you could yell and scream as you normally would, or you
THE RIGHT TIME”.
could sit with the uncomfortable feeling, ride the feeling wave and talk
yourself through some effective coping skills. Thinking about the con- “I AM SORRY YOU ARE HAVING SUCH A TOUGH TIME.
sequences of tolerating versus not tolerating this distress can help you HOWEVER, RIGHT NOW I AM NOT IN A PLACE TO TAKE IN
make more positive choices that align with your long term goals.
ALL OF THIS INFORMATION.”
“I’M HAPPY TO LEND YOU MY DRESS, BUT I’LL NEED IT

1. WHAT IS THE URGE OR BEHAVIOR THAT YOU BACK IN 2 DAYS”

ARE TRYING TO AVOID?
“I CAN’T LEND YOU MY CAR, AS IT IS ONLY INSURED
FOR ME”

EXAMINE THE PROS AND CONS OF ACTING ON THE

“WE CAN NOT GIVE YOU MONEY, BUT MAYBE THERE IS
URGE/BEHAVIOR VS NOT ACTING ON IT. CONSIDER ANOTHER WAY THAT I CAN HELP YOU?”
2. WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST WHEN YOU ACTED
ON YOUR URGE. “I CAN’T COME THIS WEEKEND, I HAVE ALREADY
COMMITTED TO SOMETHING ELSE”
“I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW AS I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF
LOOK AT THE ADVANTAGES & DISADVANTAGES (OR
3. PROS AND CONS) FOR EACH OPTION. CONSIDER YOUR SOMETHING, CAN I CALL YOU IN AN HOUR?”
VALUES AND LONG TERM GOALS.

BOUNDARY AFFIRMATIONS
SETTING BOUNDARIES IS ABOUT LOVING MYSELF
IT IS NOT UP TO ME TO FIX OTHERS
IT IS OK TO SAY NO
I DO NOT NEED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHERS

Setting
OTHERS DON’T HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME, AND THAT IS OK
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS
I DO NOT NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING ME
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES ARE NOT WALLS
BOUNDARIES ARE MY GATES THAT I GET TO OPEN AND
boundaries is
CLOSE WHEN I CHOOSE TO
IT’S OK TO MAKE PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR about loving
myself
ACTIONS
SETTING BOUNDARIES WILL HELP ME NOT BECOME,
ANGRY, BITTER OR RESENTFUL
I DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY MY BOUNDARIES TO ANYONE
BOUNDARIES ALLOW ME TO PARTICIPATE, BUT TO ALSO
LEAVE
I NEED TO HAVE BOUNDARIES SO THAT I DON’T FEEL
MISTREATED OR USED

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 FINDING THE SWEET SPOT
By now, you are familiar with the concept of boundaries, the imaginary line that
separates you from others. However, finding the right balance with personal
boundaries can be difficult and a work in progress for many people.

Personal limits of boundaries can be divided into three different categories, rigid
(hard), porous (soft) and healthy (the right balance between the other 2).
Individuals with porous boundaries find it hard to say no to people and often
feel mistreated and taken advantage of. On the other hand, individuals that
constantly have a wall up and don’t allow people to get close to them have hard,
rigid boundaries.

Understanding your own boundaries is important as it allows you to be assertive,

It’s ok to put
protects you from being mistreated and helps you develop meaningful relation-
ships. If you are able to recognize your boundaries as either soft or rigid, you can
adjust them and move them in the right direction to find the right balance that
works for you.

RIGID POROUS HEALTHY

myself
- DOESN’T ASK FOR
HELP
- FINDS IT DIFFICULT
TO SAY “NO”
- VALUES THEIR OWN
OPINIONS
first
- AVOIDS CLOSE - OVERSHARES TOO - DOESN’T COMPRO-
RELATIONSHIPS MUCH PERSONAL MISE THEIR OWN
- CLOSED OFF INFORMATION VALUES FOR
- SEEMS DETACHED - TOO INVOLVED OTHERS
FROM IN OTHER PEOPLES - SHARES PERSONAL
OTHERS PROBLEMS INFORMATION
- PROTECTIVE OF - ACCEPTS DISRE- APPROPRIATELY
THEMSELVES AND SPECT - IS COMFORTABLE IN
PERSONAL - DEPENDENT ON SAYING “NO” AND
INFORMATION OTHER PEOPLES ACCEPTS “NO” FROM
- HAS ONLY A FEW OPINIONS OTHERS
CLOSE - FEELS RESPONSIBLE
RELATIONSHIPS FOR OTHER PEOPLES
HAPPINESS

BOUNDARY THE DBT HOUSE

STATEMENTS
STAGE 4: CAPACITY
INCOMPLETENESS
EXPANDED FOR JOY AND
FREEDOM
AWARENESS
- Seek out opportunities that make
you happy and full-filled
- Change of perspective
- Learn to experience both pain and joy
THANKS FOR CAN YOU PLEASE I THINK WE MAY together
THINKING ABOUT ME, EXPLAIN WHAT YOU NEED TO AGREE
BUT I’M OK FOR MEAN, SO THAT WE TO DISAGREE ON
NOW. CAN SORT IT OUT. THIS ONE.
PROBLEMS IN
STAGE 3: GETTING A LIFE
DEALING WITH
LIVING TARGETS ORDINARY
HAPPINESS
- Identify values AND
- Help solve daily problems and issues UNHAPPINESS
- Work on the behaviors that interfere with
quality of life

QUIET STAGE 2: GETTING IN TOUCH

PERHAPS A LITTLE
SPACE WILL HELP US IN NO. I DON’T THINK I’M
THE BEST PERSON TO DESPERATION
EMOTIONAL
EXPERIENCING
THIS MOMENT. TALK TO ABOUT THIS TARGETS
MATTER. - Focus on recovering from trauma or PTSD
- Increase emotional awareness
- Replace negative thinking patterns

SEVERE
DESTRUCTIVE STAGE 1: GETTING IN CONTROL GAIN
CONTROL
BEHAVIORS
TARGETS OVER
BEHAVIORS
- Identify the behaviors that you are trying
to gain control over
LET’S TALK ABOUT I KNOW I’M PUTTING CAN WE PLEASE
THIS WHEN WE ARE MYSELF FIRST, BUT DISCUSS THIS IN - Reduce life threatening behaviours such as
FEELING CALM. THAT’S WHAT I NEED. PRIVATE RATHER THAN self harm, addiction, suicide
IN FRONT OF OTHER
PROBLEMS GOALS
PEOPLE.

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa
 Thank you for shopping at my store and
supporting my business.
It is very much appreciated.

Remember you can now access 40% off.

Use code THANKYOU at the check out with

your next purchase.

Thank you.

©PRINTABLEWITHLisa