What Is This Module About?

How do you feel today? Are you happy? Like most people, you sometimes feel
happy but there are also times when you feel sad. How we feel is important because
this helps us assess situations and make decisions too. For example, if you got a
perfect score in an exam, how would you feel? Would you celebrate? If your pet dog
died, how would you feel? When something nice happens, we usually feel happy. If
something bad or terrible happens, we feel angry, sad or frustrated. These feelings and
emotions can then affect our behavior.
There are times when we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations such as
during an argument or a job interview. Everybody experiences negative feelings such
as anger, anxiety, frustration and loneliness as a result of these situations. None of us
would like to be in these situations. What can you do to help yourself get over these
uncomfortable feelings?
Dealing with your own feelings can help you become more aware of yourself as
as well as become more pleasant in dealing with other people. Feeling good can help
you establish good relationships with others.
In this module, you will learn how to identify negative feelings and the situations
that cause them. It will also guide you in discovering different ways to manage
negative feelings.
This module is divided into two lessons:
Lesson 1 – Why We Have Negative Feelings
Lesson 2 – Personalize Your Coping Strategies
You do not need special skills to be able to complete this module. All you need is
a pen, a little time and the willingness to learn.
By the end of this module, you should have a fresh and positive outlook toward
yourself and your life. You will also acquire new skills which can make your life more
pleasant.

1
 What Will You Learn From This Module?

After studying this module, you should be able to:

♦ define what negative feelings are;
♦ describe situations that cause negative feelings;
♦ identify personal experiences that have something to do with negative
feelings;
♦ identify different coping strategies; and
♦ select and apply coping strategies that will help you cope with negative
feelings.

Let’s See What You Already Know

Before you start studying this module, take this simple test first to find out how
much you already know about the topics in this module.
Read the sentences below and choose the best answer from the choices provided
by encircling the letter of your choice.
1. A negative feeling is __________.
a. not the opposite of a positive feeling
b. only caused by conflict
c. an emotion of discomfort
d. only experienced by some people
2. Which of the following is a basic negative feeling?
a. irritation
b. anger
c. anxiety
d. loneliness
3. Which of the following causes negative feelings?
a. conflicts
b. daily life events
c. problems
d. all of the above

2
4. Maria just graduated from grade school. She is having difficulty deciding
whether to go to high school or not. On the one hand, she would like to stay
home and help her mother but on the other she would like to get an
education. She cannot do both. What is this an example of?
a. trauma
b. bereavement
c. conflict
d. guilt
5. Negative feelings must be dealt with because __________.
a. we could not live otherwise
b. they are a threat to our sanity
c. we should never have to experience them
d. we cannot appreciate good feelings if we harbor such feelings
6. What is the difference between problem-focused and emotion-focused
coping?
a. The first focuses on the source of the negative feelings while the other
focuses on the negative feelings themselves
b. the first uses aggression while the other does not
c. they see the source of the problem differently
d. there is no difference
7. Praying is an example of a __________ coping strategy?
a. problem-focused
b. emotion-focused
c. positive
d. negative
8. Finding a new job immediately after losing your old job is a __________
coping strategy. What coping strategy are you using?
a. problem-focused
b. emotion-focused
c. anxiety-focused
d. thought-focused
9. Which of the following is not a coping resource?
a. going to the movies
b. going out with friends
c. spending more time at work
d. becoming depressed

3
 10. Joan was very anxious about her pregnancy because she is scared of giving
birth. What would be the best way for her to cope?
a. taking a vacation
b. relaxing
c. fighting with her husband
d. exercising

Well, how was it? Do you think you fared well? Compare your answers with those
in the Answer Key on page 28 to find out.
If all your answers are correct, very good. This shows that you already know
much about the topics in this module. You may still study the module to review what
you already know. Who knows, you might learn a few more new things as well.
If you got a low score, don’t feel bad. It means that this module is for you. It will
help you understand some important concepts that you can apply in your daily life. If
you study this module carefully, you will learn the answers to all the items in the test
and a lot more! Are you ready?
You may go to the next page to begin Lesson 1.

4
 LESSON 1

Why We Have Negative Feelings

Human beings are very lucky because they can experience different kinds of
feelings. These feelings give “color” to their lives and make them unique. When we
are happy, everything seems beautiful. But there are times when our feelings can make
the world seem dull and even cruel.
Now, it would help if we know the causes of our negative feelings so we can
avoid them. It is important for us to be able to manage negative feelings otherwise we
would not be able to appreciate the beautiful things in life. We cannot appreciate good
feelings when we are feeling down.
In this lesson, you will find out what situations cause negative feelings and what a
negative feeling is. Are you ready?

Let’s Try This

1. Classify the following feelings as either positive or negative in the space

provided before each word.
________________ frustration
________________ depression
________________ happiness
________________ fear
________________ pride
________________ joy
________________ anger
________________ worry
________________ grief
________________ excitement
________________ regret
________________ surprise
________________ helplessness
________________ shame
________________ interest

5
 2. Among the feelings you classified as negative, write reasons why you think
they are negative.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
3. Then put check marks in the boxes on their right if you have experienced
these feelings before.

To check your answers for the first question, turn to the Answer Key on pages 28
and 29. Your answers to questions 2 and 3 may vary because these are subjective
questions.

Let’s Think About This

How did you deal with the negative feelings that you checked for question
number 3 in the previous activity? Can you remember what caused you to have these
negative feelings? Would you like to learn better ways of dealing with negative
feelings in the future? Read on and find out.

Let’s Learn

A negative feeling occurs when something bad happens. It could be any feeling
that simply causes personal discomfort, unpleasantness or distress. Negative feelings
are known as “not nice” or “bad” feelings. Examples of these include irritation,
loneliness, jealousy, anger and depression.
These feelings can be caused by many factors. Each person is unique. We all have
different lifestyles, environments and ways of responding to things that happen to us.
We differ in our feelings and emotions. But we all go through tough times when we
feel “bad.”
It is important to look at the context or situation that is happening at the time a
negative feeling is experienced to know its source or cause. In general, the causes of
negative feelings can be grouped into six categories. Look at each category in detail
on the next page.

6
Trauma — a sudden event that
shatters your sense of safety
Examples: car accidents, hold-ups,
public humiliation
You may experience negative
feelings such as fear, shame,
depression, helplessness and
frustration because of trauma.

Conflict — making difficult

choices or disagreeing with others
Examples: giving up your studies
because you have to work,
arguing with friends because of
differences in opinion

You may feel anger, regret, irritation,

frustration and anxiety because of
conflicts.

Life events — uncontrollable things

that happen which can change a
person’ life
Examples: imprisonment, losing
your job, breaking up with your
boyfriend/girlfriend, illnesses such
as cancer

You may feel anger, fear, frustration

and depression because of these.

Bereavement — losing a loved one

Example: death, migration
You may feel grief, loneliness,
disbelief and depression because of
these.

7
Continuing problems — problems that
happen again and again
Examples: fighting with family members
or your boss, discrimination, living in a
dangerous environment, not liking your
job

You may feel fear, frustration, anger and

helplessness because of these.

Daily annoyances — minor problems that

cause annoyances or irritation
Examples: traffic, doing your daily
chores, having your electricity cut off, not
having water, bad weather
You may feel irritation, frustration and
anger because of these.

Notice that almost anything can provoke negative feelings. Problems can arise
anytime. Can you relate your experiences to some of these examples?
It is important to understand how we feel at all times. This way, we are always
ready to cope with them. Coping strategies are ways which help us handle or face
our problems. For example, a person who feels unhappy may watch a movie. Others
may choose to just stay home and rest. People cope with problems differently.
Knowing how we feel can allow us to use the most effective strategies.

Let’s Think About This

Try to recall the times you experienced the negative feelings you checked in Let’s
Try This on page 6. What were some of the causes of these negative feelings? Quickly
jot down your answers on the lines below.
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

8
 Let’s Learn

The negative feelings people feel are quite similar to each other. This is because
we have the so-called “base” or “basic” feelings from where all other feelings are
derived. For example: worry and anxiousness both come from the basic feeling of
fear.
In this module we shall cover three basic feelings, namely:
Anger — a violent and strong displeasure as a result of opposition or
maltreatment. Derived feelings: jealousy, hatred and disgust
Fear — a feeling of anxiety caused by the presence of danger, evil or pain,
anxious feelings, dread or uneasiness about something. Derived feelings:
anxiety, worry and depression
Frustration — felt when you are kept from doing or achieving something;
defeated efforts, hopes or plans. Derived feelings: irritation, regret and
helplessness

Let’s Review

1. a. Think of the last time you felt angry. What was happening in your life at that
time?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

b. What other negative feelings did you also experience?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

c. What was the cause of your anger?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

9
2. a. Think of the last time you felt afraid. What was happening in your life at that
time?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

b. What other negative feelings did you also experience?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

c. What was the cause of your fear?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

3. a. Think of the last time you felt frustrated. What was happening in your life at
that time?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

b. What other negative feelings did you also experience?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

c. What was the cause of your frustration?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Of course, all your answers are correct because they are your personal
experiences. Be sure to check that the causes match with the definitions given in the
lesson though.

10
 Let’s View This

Watch the video supplement of this module entitled, “When the Going Gets
Tough . . .” The video is divided into two parts. After the first part of the video you
will be asked to analyze what you have just seen by answering some questions.
If you do not have access to a video cassette player or VCD player, a copy of the
script is found in the Appendix on pages 38 to 44. Just read part 1 of the video script
and analyze its contents.
Now, play the tape/VCD.
Have you finished watching the first part of the video? Then answer the following
questions.
1. What are Marco’s negative feelings?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

2. What are their causes?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

3. What is Marco’s basic feeling?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

4. What do you think should Marco do to cope with his negative feelings?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 29. Did you get all
the correct answers? After checking your answers, continue reading the module.

11
 Let’s See What You Have Learned

Imagine you are a policeman/policewoman. You and your partner are chasing
thieves who also have guns. In the chase, your partner was shot by one of the thieves.
You did not catch the thieves and you brought your partner to the hospital.
Unfortunately, your partner died at the hospital.
Answer the following questions briefly.
1. What negative feelings are you likely to experience?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

2. Underline words or phrases that may have caused these feelings in the given
passage.
3. Check the boxes of possible causes of your negative feelings in this case.
traumas
conflicts
life events
bereavement
continuing problems
daily hassles

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 29. If you have
similar answers, you have done a good job of understanding the lesson. If your
answers are different, don’t worry. Go over the parts of the lesson that you did not
fully understand. You’ll do better the second time round.

Let’s Remember

♦ Negative feelings are uncomfortable, unpleasant or personally distressing

feelings.
♦ Negative feelings can be caused by traumas, conflicts, life events,
bereavement, continuing problems or daily hassles.
♦ Everyone undergoes negative feelings sometimes.
♦ Negative feelings can come from three basic feelings—anger, fear and frustration.

12
 LESSON 2

Personalize Your Coping Strategies

Recall your activity about the policeman/policewoman who witnessed the killing
of his/her partner. It must be awful to go through an experience like that—dealing with
all three basic negative feelings at the same time. How well do you think you could
deal with something like that? What if you don’t have any idea what to do about that,
what would happen then?
This part of the module will teach you how to look at your situation in order to
overcome your negative feelings. It will also allow you to look at yourself and help
you decide how to deal with your feelings. You will learn about the two types of ways
of coping.
This lesson will tell you the difference between the two types of coping
strategies as well as give you examples on how to cope with negative feelings. Shall
we get started?

Let’s Learn

Being able to cope means successfully removing negative feelings. Coping

refers to what you “think” and “do” to manage the uncomfortable feelings you
experience. These are the ways that help you deal with your negative feelings.
Different people have different ways of coping with negative feelings. These, of
course, depend upon the seriousness of your problem. In general, the strategies or
ways of coping can be grouped into two major kinds: problem-focused and emotion-
focused. Both use distinctly different strategies but they have the same result, that is,
being able to cope effectively with negative feelings.
Problem-focused Coping—refers to responses aimed at reducing or removing
the sources of negative feelings, the problems. Whenever we are in situations that
lead to having negative feelings, our first reaction is to make the feeling stop. We
react as human beings in one of two ways. We either avoid the problem or do
everything to address it.
Examples:
1. Traffic angers you and so you take a different route to avoid traffic.

13
 2. Feeling hot makes you very irritable so you turn on the electric fan to cool
down.

3. You had an argument with your friend and you feel sorry so you go and make
up with him/her.
4. Your TV got busted and you are frustrated because you will not be able to
watch your favorite programs so buy another TV.
5. You live in a dangerous area and you constantly worry for your safety so you
decide to move to a new and safer area.

Emotion-focused Coping—responses aimed at reducing the emotional distress

caused by problems. In this strategy, we put emphasis on the bad feelings that result
from unfavorable situations. We do other things to lessen the amount or intensity of
the negative feelings we are experiencing.
Examples:
1. Your wallet was stolen and you know that you’ll never get it back so you go
out with friends to cheer you up.
2. Your beloved mother died and you know you can’t bring her back so you pray
to God to help you cope with your grief.
3. You cannot afford to quit your job even if you hate it so you exercise a lot to
relieve yourself of your frustrations and negative feelings.
4. You were asked to perform in front of a large group of people and you’re
very nervous so you do some breathing exercises to feel relaxed and calm.
5. A car accident traumatized you so you consulted a doctor and he gave you
some medication to help you relax and to reduce your feelings of fear.

14
 6. You didn’t get the job you applied for because you did badly in the aptitude
and screening tests so you make yourself feel better by eating your favorite
food and doing the things you enjoy most.

To review, problem-focused strategies are used when you wish to “fight” and we
stop the source or cause a bad feeling. An example of an emotional-focused strategy
is when we look for ways to calm ourselves down, make the negative feelings less
uncomfortable or turn them into positive feelings. Simple, isn’t it?
You might ask, but which one do I use? This will depend on the situation. We will
discuss the guidelines later on. For now, see if you have mastered the difference
between the two orientations by doing the following activity.

Let’s Try This

Indicate whether each coping strategy belongs to the problem-focused

orientation by writing PF or the emotion-focused orientation by writing EF in the
blank.
________ 1. Finding another job immediately after losing your job
________ 2. Praying a lot
________ 3. Exercising more than usual
________ 4. Asking others to help you make friends with your rivals or
enemies
________ 5. Socializing more when feeling sad
________ 6. Spending more leisure time

15
 Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 30. I’m sure you
did very well but if you made mistakes, the explanations in the Answer Key will help
you better understand the lesson.

Let’s Think About This

Think of other creative ways to manage stress and write them down in the space
provided below.
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

Are they more problem-focused or emotion-focused? Which ones have you tried
doing before?
Keep these strategies in mind because they will help you in doing your
assignment.
Let’s move on to the more important questions of when to use which orientation
or strategy for your problem. Are you ready?

Let’s Learn

When faced with negative feelings, you often ask yourself, “What do I do now?”
Well, maybe these guidelines will help you decide:
1. First of all, you should identify the negative feeling/s you are experiencing.
♦ Saying, “This is how I feel!” gives you a sense of ownership on your
feelings. This indicates taking responsibility and helps you act for your
own good.
2. Secondly, assess the situation or look closely at what is going on at that
time then identify the source of your negative feelings.
♦ Remember the six possible causes of negative feeling discussed in
Lesson 1. You may go back and review them if you like.

16
 3. Then ask yourself if it is possible to address the source of the problem.
Sometimes this is easy to do, therefore, it is best to use problem-focused
strategies.
♦ For example, if you do not like the way the conversation is going
between you and a group of people, you simply excuse yourself.
♦ If the situation you are in is uncomfortable, for example, being in a very
crowded restaurant, leaving or going somewhere else effectively
removes you from that situation.
4. Generally, it is advisable to use problem-focused strategies first than
emotion-focused ones. But there are times when this is not possible.
♦ For example, someone close to you just died. You are grieving and
feeling very unhappy. You know for a fact that a person cannot
come back to life anymore. In this case, it is better to focus your
attention toward reducing your feeling of unhappiness by keeping
yourself busy with something else.
♦ The strategy that should be used is emotion-focused because you aim
to reduce the feeling or lessen its intensity.

Look at the example on the next page on how these guidelines can be used. This
will help serve as your guide in dealing with your own situations.

Roland was waiting for a jeep when he was robbed. He did not even notice that his
wallet had been stolen until after the thief had gone.
First, he admitted to himself that he was angry because he lost his wallet and had
no more money. He was angry that he did not even notice he was being robbed. He was
angry because he was not able to do anything about it. He was angry because he had to
walk home instead. He was experiencing these negative feelings and understood that
they affected him negatively.
Second, he knew that the cause of his anger was the fact that his wallet was
stolen. His problem can be categorized as a daily annoyance.
Third, he considered looking for the thief. He remembered what the man looked
like and to what direction he went. So he went to look for the thief but after some time
decided it was hopeless.
Fourth, he then had to calm himself down because anger would not do him any
good. He then decided to use emotion-focused coping strategies. He played basketball
to release his anger. After the game, he felt calm and can then deal with the loss of his
wallet better.

17
 Here’s a quick reminder of the guidelines:
♦ Know what negative feelings you are experiencing.
♦ Find the cause or the problem.
♦ See first if the cause can be directly addressed—use problem-focused
strategies.
♦ If the problem is difficult or impossible to solve, use emotion-focused
coping strategies.

Let’s Review

Imagine that you are in the same boat as our friend Manny. He is taking the NFE
A&E exam in order to acquire a secondary education certificate. He really wants to
pass and studied really hard. On the day of the test, he was so nervous. He was so
scared that he will not remember anything. He tried to relax by taking deep breaths. In
the end he was able to take the test.
Answer the following questions briefly.
1. His nervousness is a negative feeling derived from what basic feeling?
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
2. What is the source or the cause of his nervousness?
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

18
 3. Under what orientation (problem-focused or emotion-focused) does the
strategy deep breathing belong?
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
4. Why do you think Manny chose this strategy over another method?
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 30. Did you get all
the correct answers? If yes, very good! You can already decide whether a particular
strategy is appropriate for a situation. If not, review the test.

Let’s Think About This

If you were in Manny’s place, would you have done the same thing? Are there
some other methods you could have used to manage your feeling of nervousness?
Write down three possible alternative methods you would have used to reduce your
nervousness before the NFE A&E examination?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________

Remember that you are different from Manny. You have other available
resources. This is also true for other people. For example, some people can afford to
go shopping whenever they feel sad or frustrated. However, not everybody can do that.
You have to make do with what you have most of the time, as long as you know how to
make use of those properly. If you want to learn more about resources, read on.

Let’s Learn

You may be wondering what we mean by resource. A resource is basically what

you have at present that can help you cope with your problems. This varies from
person to person depending on one’s lifestyle.
Manny regularly does breathing exercises as an athlete. We can say that his being
an athlete is a resource because his athletic skills can help him cope with his negative
feelings.

19
 The resources a person can use in coping with negative feelings can be classified
into:
♦ Friends — they can help you solve your problems or can support you
emotionally.

Manny could have asked some friends to come with him to the testing
center. They could have provided him with some encouragement by saying,
“Good luck, you can do it!” or tell jokes to make him relax.
♦ Environment — some environments may provide comfort. Some
surroundings can make us feel secure whenever we feel bad. A change of
environment may be good for someone who has a problem. Spending some
time in the province where the surroundings are peaceful, for example, can
help you cope with your problems.
Manny could have gone to a cafe or a restaurant while waiting for the exam
to start. This way, he will be surrounded by happy people thereby making him
feel more relaxed before the exam.
♦ Personality — some people have strong personalities thereby handling their
emotions well. Some people are also very flexible letting them easily adjust
to any situation. Some are very persevering and do not easily give up. Traits
like these can help a person solve problems or get rid of negative feelings
more easily.
Manny can be described as stable. He is able to manage negative feelings. He
is also very determined. These traits helped him get through the exam.
♦ Health — a healthy and strong body can enable you to handle intense
negative feelings. Exercise and good habits can also help you release
negative emotions.

20
 Manny exercises regularly, hence, he is healthy. He has the ability to handle
his nervousness without affecting his health.

♦ Thoughts — having a positive outlook can help you deal with bad situations
better. Being positive allows you to think of creative ways to deal with bad
emotions.
As Manny prepares for the exam, for example, he can tell himself over and
over, “I know I will do well, I do not need to worry, I can get a high score in
this exam.”
♦ Groups — being a member of a social group is an advantage because your
group mates can help you by giving you support and advice. Such groups
could be in school, in church, in the workplace, etc.

21
 Manny joined a prayer group and they gave him spiritual support for his
exam. Prayer can reduce his nervousness.

These are only some of the possible resources a person can have. Take note that
all of these resources can be used for both problem-focused and emotion-focused
coping strategies.

Let’s Try This

Make a list of the available resources you have at the moment that can help you
cope with your negative feelings and their causes.
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

There are no right or wrong answers to this so don’t worry. Just be honest!

Let’s View This

Play the tape again for the second part of the video. After the video, you will be
asked to analyze what you have just seen by answering a few questions.
If you do not have access to a video cassette player or a VCD player, a copy of
the script can be found in the Appendix on pages 32 to 43. Just read Part 2 of the
video script and analyze its contents.
Play the tape/VCD.
Have you finished watching the first part of the video? Then answer the following
questions.

1. Which of Marco’s problems need a problem-focused strategy?

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

22
 2. Which of Marco’s problems need an emotion-focused strategy?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
3. Was Marco able to use the appropriate strategy for his problems? Explain
your answer.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
4. What served as Marco’s resources to help him ease his frustrations?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
5. What other things have you learned about dealing with negative feelings
from Marco’s situation?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 30. Did you get all
the correct answers? If you did not quite understand the video, try watching it again.
I’m sure you will understand it better the second time. You may also discuss your
answers with your Instructional Manager, co-learners, friends or family members for
additional feedback.

Let’s Remember

♦ Problem-focused coping strategies aim to reduce or get rid of the

sources of negative feelings.
♦ Emotion-focused coping strategies are used when the problem cannot be
eliminated. They aim to reduce the intensity of the negative feelings.
♦ In choosing which coping strategy to use, first, acknowledge that you have a
negative feeling. Then find its source or cause. Try a problem-focused
coping strategy first. If it is not effective, use an emotion-focused coping
strategy.
♦ Coping resources can be anything in your life that you can use to help you
cope with problems or negative feelings.

23
 Well, this is the end of the module! Congratulations for finishing it. Did you like
it? Did you learn anything useful from it? A summary of its main points is given below
to help you remember them better.

Let’s Sum Up

This module tells us that:

♦ Negative feelings are uncomfortable, unpleasant or personally distressing
feelings.
♦ Negative feelings can be caused by traumas, conflicts, life events,
bereavement, continuing problems or daily hassles.
♦ We all go through negative feelings sometimes.
♦ Negative feelings can come from three basic feelings—anger, fear and
frustration.
♦ Problem-focused coping strategies aim to reduce or get rid of the
sources of negative feelings.
♦ Emotion-focused coping strategies are used when the problem cannot be
eliminated. They aim to reduce the intensity of the negative feelings.
♦ In choosing which coping strategy to use, first, identify the negative feeling
then find its source or cause. Try using problem-focused strategies first, if
the problem persists, use emotion-focused strategies.
♦ Coping resources can be anything in your life that can help you cope with
your problems or your negative feelings.

24
 What Have You Learned?

Read the passage below then answer the questions that follow.
Good luck, take your time in answering and remember what you have learned in
the module. I’m sure you will do very well.
Paul is playing basketball for his team in the inter-barangay championship.
He really wants his team to win the title. Everyone seemed to be watching the
game. Paul was very nervous because he was afraid he would disappoint his team,
his family, his friends and his barangay.

Toward the end of the game, his team was behind by two points and time was
running out. Paul had the ball and tried to shoot but someone from the other team
kicked his leg. Paul was very angry and frustrated because he was not able to
shoot the ball. Paul was given two free throws but he missed one. He was irritated
with himself for that.

25
 Paul’s team lost the game. Paul was very disappointed.

But even if they lost, Paul and his teammates still went out to celebrate for
being in second place. They started telling jokes while eating. Before the evening
ended, they were already laughing and no longer felt bad about losing the
championship.

1. Identify the basic feelings Paul experienced.

________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
2. Identify the derived feelings that Paul experienced.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

26
 3. What makes these feelings negative?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
4. Underline words or phrases that caused Paul’s negative feelings in the
passage.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
5. What did Paul do after the game in order to deal with his negative feelings?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
6. Review your answer to question number 5. Is this a problem-focused or an
emotion-focused coping strategy?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
7. What resources did Paul use to cope with his negative feelings?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
8. Suggest other resources that could also have helped Paul deal with his
negative feelings.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 31. How well did
you do?

27
 Answer Key

A. Let’s See What You Already Know (pages 2–4 )

1. (c) is the correct answer. All the other answers are not always true.
2. (b) is the correct answer. The other feelings are derived from other
basic feelings.
3. (d) is the correct answer. All the statements can cause negative
feelings, therefore, they are all true.
4. (c) is the correct answer. The other answers do not fully capture the
problem and its consequences.
5. (d) is the correct answer. The other answers are possible answers too
but are only applicable in some cases.
6. (a) is the correct answer. This is the correct definition of the two
kinds of coping strategies.
7. (b) is the correct answer. All the other answers are wrong.
8. (a) is the correct answer. This is a clear example of dealing with a
problem. All the other answers can be classified as emotion-focused
coping strategies.
9. (d) is the correct answer. It is not a way of dealing with a negative
feeling, it is simply a negative feeling.
10. (b) is the correct answer. All the others are possible answers but they
do not fully capture the problem and its consequences.

B. Lesson 1
Let’s Try This (pages 5–6 )
1. negative — frustration
negative — depression
positive — happiness
negative — fear
positive — pride
positive — joy
negative — anger
negative — worry

28
 negative — grief
positive — excitement
negative — regret
positive — surprise
negative — helplessness
negative — shame
positive — interest
2–3.The answers to these may vary.
Let’s View This (page 11)
1. Marco felt depressed and frustrated.
2. Marco felt depressed because of his mother’s death. He also felt
frustrated because he and his siblings have to be separated. In addition
to that, he also has to stop going to school.
3. Marco’s basic feeling is frustration.
4. Marco should act on the problems which he can do something about.
He should likewise accept the events which he can’t do anything about.

Let’s See What You Have Learned (page 12)

1. Basic: anger, fear, frustration
Derived: grief, helplessness, hatred
Other negative feelings not in the list are also acceptable as long
as they are derived from the three basic feelings.
2. Chasing thieves; your partner was shot. You did not catch the thieves;
your partner died.
3. Check the following: traumas, conflicts, life events, bereavement.

29
C. Lesson 2
Let’s Try This (page 15)
1. (PF) Your main problem is being unemployed. By getting another job,
you will be able to address your main problem.
2. (EF) Praying does not help you get rid of the problem but it helps you
ease whatever negative feelings you have.
3. (EF) Exercising is one way of getting rid of negative feelings such as
anger and frustration. It helps reduce the intensity of your emotions.
4. (PF) Your main problem is having a rival or an enemy. If you make
friends with him/her, you will be able to eliminate the source of your
negative feelings.
5. (PF) Going out and meeting new friends will lighten your mood and
unload you of your fears, anger or frustrations.
6. (EF) Relaxing does not help you solve your problems but it keeps you
healthy in order to manage your negative feelings.

Let’s Review (page 18)

1. Fear
2. His desire to pass despite his doubts
3. Emotion-focused coping strategy
4. Manny may have chosen this strategy over another method because he
cannot avoid taking the exam. He has to take the exam no matter what.

Let’s View This (pages 22–23)

1. His separation with his siblings and the fact that he has to
stop schooling.
2. His mother’s death.
3. Yes. Marco accepted that he and his siblings had to separate. He made
himself comfortable with the idea of just visiting them. He likewise
decided to pursue his studies through the nonformal education
program.
Marco also learned to accept his mother’s death and just moved on.
4. Jay and Tiyo Tony’s support; joining the basketball league.
5. Marco’s story showed that no matter how big the problem is, there
is always a way to deal with it.

30
 D. What Have You Learned? (pages 25–27)
1. Basic feelings — anger, fear and frustration
2. Derived feelings — nervousness, irritation, disappointment, hatred
and regret
3. They are negative because they cause Paul personal discomfort.
4. He really wants his team to win, everyone seemed to be watching
the game, he was afraid he would disappoint his team, time was
running out, someone from the other team kicked his leg, he was
not able to shoot, he missed one, He was irritated with himself,
they lost
5. Paul went out with his teammates.
6. An emotion-focused strategy
7. Support from friends
8. Learning to look at the bright side of things, a change of scenery
and more practice coupled with self-discipline

References

North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service. (1994). Families Taking

Charge: Accepting Your Feelings. http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/drought/dro-
43.html. April 19, 2001, date accessed.
Clarus Center, Inc. (2000). What Is Psychotherapy? http://claruscenter.com/
therapy.htm. April 19, 2001, date accessed.

31
 Appendix

Title: When the Going Gets Tough . . .

Marco’s mother just died. This left him and his younger brother and sisters to
fend for themselves. So, his Tiya Gina and Tiyo Tony decided to take them under their
care . . .

Tiya Gina: Now that your mother has passed away, your Tiyo Tony and I have
decided that we will be the ones to take care of you. Marco, I will not be
able to provide for the four of you, so . . . (suspended)
Tiyo Tony: (quickly followed) So your Tiya Gina and I have decided that Marie,
Melay and Mark will live with Gina and you, Marco, will stay with me. I hope
you understand.
Marco: Yes, Tiyo Tony.

32
 Tiyo Tony: I know that you don’t want to get separated from each other but this is
the only way we can provide for all of you.

Even though Marco does not want to get separated from his brother and sisters he
had no choice.
Tiya Gina: Children, are you finished packing your things?
Marie: Yes, Tiya Gina.

Marco’s brother and sisters will be kept under the care of Tiya Gina while Marco
with Tiyo Tony.

Marco: Marie, take care of Melay and Mark, okay?

Marie: (nods)
Marco: (looking at the three) Be good. Obey Tiya Gina.
Marie: Yes, Kuya.
(Crying . . .)
Tiyo Andoy: Ahh, I think we have to go, it’s getting late. Marco, your Tiyo Tony
will fetch you here tomorrow. Be ready in the morning.
Marco: Yes, Tiyo Andoy.
The day after his brother and sisters left, Marco also left their home to live with
Tiyo Tony. Along the way, he met his friend Jay . . .

Jay: Are you leaving now?

Marco: Yes, I’m going to live with Tiyo Tony in Santa Fe.

33
 Jay: We’ll miss you, Marco.
Marco: I’ll visit you from time to time.
Jay: Goodbye, Pare.
Tiyo Tony: Let’s go, Marco, the tricycle is here.
Leaving their place was hard for Marco. He grew up there. But he had no choice.
Nobody will support them anymore. As if his mother’s death and his separation with
his brother and sisters were not enough, Tiyo Tony had to break another bad news to
Marco.

Tiyo Tony: Feel at home, just tell me or your Auntie Hanna if you need anything.
(pause) By the way, Marco, I’d like to talk to you about your studies. You
see, as much as I want to send you to school, it will be very hard.
Marco: Tiyo Tony, please allow me to continue my studies. I have dreams not
only for myself but for my future family as well. I don’t want to end up being
an out-of-school youth. I don’t want to be a farmer forever. Now that mother
died I feel that I have the responsibility to provide for my younger sisters
and brother. Tiyo Tony, the only way I can do that is if I finish my studies.
Tiyo Tony: Marco, I admire you for having an ambition. But I’m afraid right now,
it is not possible for me to send you to school. I hope you understand, I also
have to send your four cousins to school. I’m sorry.
Marco: Had Mama been alive, she would not let me stop my schooling.
Tiyo Tony: I’m sure she wouldn’t. Marco, if you help me in the farm, then
maybe, we can save some money and eventually, you may be able to continue
your studies. I think that’s more practical.
Marco: (looks down)

34
 Meanwhile, at Tiya Gina’s house, Marco’s brother and sisters already miss him.

Marie: Tiya Gina, will we be able to continue our studies?

Tiya Gina: Oh, yes.
Marie: How about Kuya Marco?
Tiya Gina: Your Tiyo Tony and I have talked about that and Marco will have to
stop his schooling. We simply cannot afford it.
Marie: I’m sure Kuya Marco will feel very sad. He doesn’t want to stop his
schooling.
Tiya Gina: I know but it’s not that easy.
(Sound fades)

One day, Marco came back to their old house to get some of their other things.
Along the way, he met Jay . . .

35
 Jay: Marco! (approaches) How are you?
Marco: I’m okay. I’m here to get some of my other things.
Jay: Our classmates have been asking about you.
Marco: (sighs) Pare, you won’t see me in school anymore.
Jay: Why? Are you transferring to another school?
Marco: No, I have to stop my schooling.
Jay: What?
Marco: I don’t know what’s happening to us, Jay. Mother’s death was so sudden,
we weren’t prepared for it. Now I am separated from my brother and sisters,
on top of that, I will have to stop schooling and work with Tiyo Tony in the
farm.
Jay: The barkada will miss you.
Marco: If I had a choice, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be away from you
guys. If I don’t finish school, what kind of future will I have? I really feel
frustrated, Jay.
Jay: Life’s like that, Marco. Sometimes it’s okay, sometimes it’s not.
Marco: You mean life’s unfair. Life’s cruel. Come on, let’s have a drink.
Jay: A drink, are you sure?
Marco: Yeah.
Jay: Will that be okay with your Tiyo Tony?
Marco: Come on, he won’t see us anyway.

Marco is very frustrated, he feels that he has so many problems. Marco decided
that he should drink to forget about his frustrations, at least for a moment. The next
day however . . .

36
 Tiyo Tony: Marco! Marco!
Marco: Tiyo Tony.
Tiyo Tony: Have you finished threshing the grains?
Marco: Not yet, Tiyo Tony.
Tiyo Tony: How can you finish that if you’re sleeping.
Marco: I’m sorry, Tiyo Tony, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry.
Tiyo Tony: You came home drunk last night.
Marco: (looks down)
Tiyo Tony: Marco, I understand this is hard for you but drinking will not help. It
will not ease your pain or frustrations. It will not help you go back to school.
I told you, help me and eventually we will be able to save some money for
your studies.
End of Part 1, go back to the module.
Marco was very sad that his Tiyo Tony got mad at him. Auntie Hanna, Tiyo Tony’s
wife, noticed this . . .

Auntie Hanna: Marco, you look sad again.

Marco: (smiles)
Auntie Hanna: Do you remember your mother?
Marco: (nods) Tiyo Tony got mad at me. It was my fault, I went home drunk last
night.

37
Auntie Hanna: You know, Marco, you should not try to cope with your mother’s
death by drinking. We can’t do anything about it now. Just think of it this
way, she’s already resting, she won’t experience any more hardships, she’s
okay wherever she is now. You should remember her in your prayers but you
have to move on.
Marco: It’s not just mother’s death, Auntie Hanna. Now, I am separated from
Mark, Melay and Marie. I stopped my schooling and I’m away from my
friends. It’s hard, Auntie Hanna. I feel so frustrated.
Auntie Hanna: Now you can do something about that. It’s not like you’re
hopeless. You can visit your brother and sisters and they can visit you. You
can also visit your friends from time to time if you want. I’m sure your Tiyo
Tony won’t mind. With regard to your studies, we’ll save some money for it
and I promise you, once we have enough, you’ll go back to school.
Marco: I think you’re right, Auntie Hanna. I should accept the problems that I
can’t really do anything about like Mother’s death. And I should act on the
problems which I can do something about.
Auntie Hanna: Right! That’s the spirit!
Marco: (smiles)
Auntie Hanna: At least you have admitted your feelings and frustrations. Aside
from that, you know and fully understand the causes of your frustrations.
That’s a good sign that you are recovering and that you can cope with
whatever problems and frustrations you have. I can see that you are a strong
person. For a young boy like you, you handle emotions well.
Marco: I guess I just need time, Auntie Hanna.
Auntie Hanna: Just bear in mind that there are many other things to look
forward to.
Marco: (nods)
Auntie Hanna: It’s getting late, why don’t you get some sleep?
Marco: I’ll just follow, Auntie Hanna.
Auntie Hanna: Okay.

38
 Marco thought that maybe Auntie Hannah was right. Days passed. One day, Jay
and Marco met again.

Marco: Oh, Jay! What are you doing here?

Jay: I’m going to fetch my sister, she went to visit one of her friends here. What
about you?
Marco: Tiyo Tony asked me to bring this to one of his friends here.
Jay: Hey, did your Tiyo Tony get mad when you went home drunk?
Marco: Yes.
Jay: I’m sorry, Marco. You know, we should not have done that. It won’t really
solve anything anyway.
Marco: I’ve been thinking about that too.
Jay: Just think of the positive things, Marco. If you come to think of it, a change
of environment may actually do you some good. I mean, at least you won’t
think as much about your mother’s death now that you live with your Tiyo
Tony.
Marco: (nods)
Jay: Marco, there’s a new basketball competition starting at the barangay hall
every Sunday afternoon. There’s still a spare position in my team. Are you
interested? I know you’re a good player.
Marco: Sure, why not? It will be good to let off some steam and it will help me
to keep in shape. It’s been a long time since I last played though.

39
 Marco played for the basketball team. This helped Marco keep his mind off the
bad things that happened. Marco is starting to feel better and his frustrations are
slowly easing up. One day, Marco’s brother and sisters visited him at Tiyo Tony’s
house.

Marie: Kuya!
Marco: Oh, Marie! How are you doing?
Marie: We’re okay, Kuya. We’re doing fine. How about you?
Marco: I’m okay. How are your studies?
Marie: I get good grades, Kuya, so do Mark and Melay.
Marco: I’m glad to hear that.
Tiyo Tony: Come inside. Let’s all have some snacks. Marco and I have been
working since this morning.
(after a while)
Marco: Tiya Gina, thank you for bringing them here.
Tiya Gina: Don’t mention it, Marco. They miss you and I’m sure you miss them.
Marco: Thank you for taking care of them.
Tiya Gina: (smiles)
Marco: By the way, Tiya Gina, please accept this.
Tiya Gina: What is this for?
Marco: It’s for my brother and sisters, Tiya, a small amount to help.
Tiya Gina: Marco, I’m not requiring you to contribute or give any money. We’re
okay.

40
 Marco: I’m the eldest, Tiya, and I want to be able to help you take care of my
younger siblings.
Tiya Gina: Your mother will be proud of you.
Marco: (smiles)

Marco realized that even if he and his brother and sisters are separated, they can
still see each other from time to time. Marco’s only wish now is to be able to study
again. One day . . .

Tiyo Tony: By the way, Marco, I heard that there’s this new nonformal education
program where you can finish your schooling even if you’re working. It’s
called the NFE A&E Program.
Marco: Study while working?
Tiyo Tony: Yes, it’s a government program. You’ll just go to the NFE Learning
Center probably once or twice a week to get some learning materials and
you can study here at home.
Marco: Really?
Tiyo Tony: Yes, I think it’s not going to be too hard for you to go to town twice a
week. Do you want to enroll in that program?
Marco: Oh, yes, Tiyo Tony, I want to study again so I can graduate and get a high
school certificate.
Tiyo Tony: All right we will inquire tomorrow.

41
 The next day, the two inquired at the NFE Center . . .

Tiyo Tony: Good morning, ma’am.

IM: Good morning, how may I help you?
Tiyo Tony: Ma’am, we would like to inquire about the NFE program which allows
out-of-school people to finish their schooling. Marco here would like to
enroll.
IM: Good! Please sit down. Marco, are you working right now?
Marco: Yes, ma’am. In Tiyo Tony’s farm.
IM: I see. The NFE A&E program will allow you to work while studying. You
will get learning materials from us, just like these, study them at home and
when you are finished, take an exam. These learning materials are written
such that you can study them on your own, they are easy to understand. But if
you experience any problems in understanding the materials, you can come
and see me for help.
Marco: I see.
(Sound fades)

Marco was doing well with the NFE A&E program. The NFE A&E program made
Marco’s wish to study again a reality.

42
 IM: Marco, how are you doing?
Marco: I’m doing fine, ma’am. I’m glad that I’m able to study again.
IM: Aha.
Marco: You see, ma’am, my mother just died. My brother and sisters and I have
to live separately, I have to stop schooling and work with my Tiyo in his
farm. Studying here helped me recover from my mother’s death and greatly
eased my frustration about what happened to our family.
IM: I’m glad to hear that, Marco.

Time passed and Marco continued his studies. Marie, Mark and Melay still lived
with Tiya Gina and Marco got used to this setup. Soon, Marco graduated from the
NFE A&E program.

Tiyo Tony: Congratulations, Marco, you achieved your goal. You are a high school
graduate.
Marco: Thank you, Tiyo Tony. Thank you. (hugs)

End of part 2, go back to the module.

43