Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Relationship
INTIMACY, LOVE, ATTACHMENT, COMMITMENT and RESPONSIBILITY
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
1. Secure
will grow up with a more secure and
attachment stable relationship
Attachments when the primary caregiver is cold and detached,
and even unresponsive to a child's needs.
2. Avoidant
the future.
The posibility of isolation is real for people who have
attac hment
Three Stages of Falling InLove
by Helen Fisher
Pheromones – an odorless chemical found in urine and sweat can be detected by the nose, are
involved in the assessment of a future mate, an indication of a person’s immune system.
Women are also attracted to men who smell similar to their father.
Preference of individuals to marry somebody who resembles one or both of their parents.
The Rozenberg Quarterly Several theories
related to attraction and liking:
Our past relationships can therefore affect our The more we are liked by someone we equally like, the more
we behave in ways that promote mutual feelings of liking.
current interactions with people.
5. Physical attractiveness
Physical attractiveness connotes positive health and
2. Propinquity Effect reproductive fitness, which are both essential to human survival.
Love is a feeling of deep affection, passion, or strong liking for a person or thing
(http://www.yourdictionary.com/love)
1C or.
1. Intimacy
“That lovely moment when someone understands and validates us.” – Reis, Clark, and Holmes
(2004) and Reis and Shaver (1998)
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of
his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring,
human being.” John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love”
Being open and vulnerable to that person whom we deeply trust, who we feel connected with,
and who values us with unconditional positive regard – Rogers
Is an act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with another
person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect serve as a guide to
one’s behavior and thinking.
Commitment is saying YES, you are into this relationship and will stick to it for as long as
possible.
Is the intense state of being that drives and
3. Passion consumes a person to pursue an interest, a
vision, or a person.
2. Temptation of alternativepartners
the presence of possible alternatives for another partner can rock the relationship and
destabilize the commitment of a couple.
1. Criticism
there is the absence of unconditional positive regard for each other in a relationship
3. Contempt
Someone who looks down on the party as inferior does not give unconditional positive regard,
and aggravates the situation by expressing superiority over the other.
“ultimate expression of disillusionment and highly predictive of “divorce” or separation.
Responsibilities in a Relationship
1.Be responsible for what you think and say to the other
person.
2.Be responsible for what you promise to do or not to do.
3.Ensure the relationship is mutually beneficial.
4.Respect the other party or parties involved.
5.Be ready to provide support when needed.
Thank you!
That InAll Things God May Be
Glorified!
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