THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF HUMAN RELATIONS 1. Speak to people. There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word of greeting. 2. Smile at people.

It takes seventy-two muscles to frown, and only fourteen to smile. 3. Call people by name. The sweetest music to most mens ears is the sound of their own name. 4. Be friendly and helpful. If you would have friends, be friendly. 5. Be cordial. Speak and act as if everything you do is genuinely a pleasure; make it a pleasure to do so. 6. Be genuinely interested in people. You can like almost anybody if you try. 7. Be generous with praisecautious with criticism. 8. Be considerate with the feelings of others. Walk a mile in their shoes; their pain is real, though it may seem trivial to you.. 9. Be alert to give service. What counts most in life is what we do for others. 10. Add to this a good sense of humor; a big dose of patience, and plenty of humility, and you will be rewarded many-fold.

Culture is defined as our overall way of life, including language, customs, beliefs, and the use of material things. This definition includes something called "material culture." Because of instantaneous global communications, especially television, a global culture is developing. Just as French was once the language of trade, English is now becoming the language of the information age. Western customs are spreading to other cultures around the world. This can easily be seen in the western style clothes that are worn almost universally. What is less well known and more subtle is the fact that Fijian women are now dieting. (In traditional Fijian culture, it was considered fashionable for women to weigh 200 or more pounds. However, since TV has come to the Fiji Islands, women now see that the rest of the world equates slimness with attractiveness, and they've joined the dieting craze.) For several decades, it has been accepted that there is a single global economic system. That, too, is part of culture. Years ago, some societies experimented with centrally planned socialist systems. Although socialist systems still exist, they exist within a free-market environment. A free market system is, by nature, capitalistic. The expansion of the G-7 (the countries with the largest economic systems) has recently expanded to the G-20. And, there are many economies that want to join the group. Insecurity about the national debt of Greece caused a near panic last week in Wall Street when the stock market crashed by 1000 points in just a few minutes. The same concern exists for Italy, Spain, and even the United States. We are tied together in a global system. Finally, food is part of a culture. Today, it is virtually impossible to travel to any economically developed country and NOT find a McDonald's. Fifty years ago, tiny villages in places like the Philippines or Honduras had a goodly supply of Coca Cola. Many people fear that the growth of a global culture will result in a single world government. However, there has been no evidence of that ever happening. .

Differences in Cultures

Increasingly, managers must deal with multiple ethnic groups with very different cultures. Thanks to globalization, you are likely to work with Japanese, French, Chinese, German and all sorts of other nationalities. It is important to recognize that people from different cultures have are different in a variety of ways, including

different ways of looking at things different ways of dressing different ways of expressing personality/goodness In an ideal world ...

the policemen would be English the car mechanics would be German the cooks would be French the innkeepers would be Swiss, and the lovers would be Italian

In a living hell ...

the policemen would be German the car mechanics would be French the cooks would be English the innkeepers would be Italian and the lovers would be Swiss

These differences can cause problems interpreting what the other person is doing. Some simple examples:

In the US, a firm, short handshake indicates self-confidence and (heterosexual) masculinity. A limp handshake by a man can be interpreted (usually wrongly) as a sign of homosexuality or wimpiness. But in most parts of Africa, a limp handshake is the correct way to do it. Furthermore, it is common in Africa for the handshake to last several minutes, while in the US a handshake that is even a few seconds too long is interpreted as familiarity, warmth and possibly sexual attraction.

In Britain, men do not look at women on the streets. The French do. Recently, a French public figure mentioned in a speech that the Brits are all gay -- the evidence was their lack of overt interest in women.

Some dimensions along which cultures vary: High Context vs Low Context A low context culture is one in which things are fully (though concisely) spelled out. Things are made explicit, and there is considerable dependence on what is actually said or written. A high context culture is one in which the communicators assume a great deal of commonality of knowledge and views, so that less is spelled out explicitly and much more is implicit or communicated in indirect ways. In a low context culture, more responsibility is placed on the listener to keep up their knowledge base and remain plugged into informal networks. Low context cultures include Anglos, Germanics and Scandinavians. High context cultures include Japanese, Arabs and French. Implications

Interactions between high and low context peoples can be problematic. o Japanese can find Westerners to be offensively blunt. Westerners can find Japanese to be secretive, devious and bafflingly unforthcoming with information o French can feel that Germans insult their intelligence by explaining the obvious, while Germans can feel that French managers provide no direction Low context cultures are vulnerable to communication breakdowns when they assume more shared understanding than there really is. This is especially true in an age of diversity. Low context cultures are not known for their ability to tolerate or understand diversity, and tend to be more insular.

Monochronic vs Polychronic Monochronic cultures like to do just one thing at a time. They value a certain orderliness and sense of there being an appropriate time and place for everything. They do not value interruptions. Polychronic cultures like to do multiple things at

the same time. A manager's office in a polychronic culture typically has an open door, a ringing phone and a meeting all going on at the same time. Polychronic cultures include the French and the Americans. The Germans tend to be monochronic. Implications

Interactions between types can be problematic. German businessman cannot understand why the person he is meeting is so interruptible by phone calls and people stopping by. Is it meant to insult him? When do they get down to business? Similarly, the American employee of a German company is disturbed by all the closed doors -- it seems cold and unfriendly.

Future vs Present vs Past Orientation Past-oriented societies are concerned with traditional values and ways of doing things. They tend to be conservative in management and slow to change those things that are tied to the past. Past-oriented societies include China, Britain, Japan and most spanish-speaking Latin American countries. Present-oriented societies include the rest of the spanish-speaking Latin American countries. They see the past as passed and the future as uncertain. They prefer short-term benefits. Future-oriented societies have a great deal of optimism about the future. They think they understand it and can shape it through their actions. They view management as a matter of planning, doing and controlling (as opposed to going with the flow, letting things happen). The United States and, increasingly, Brazil, are examples of future-oriented societies. Quantity of Time In some cultures, time is seen as being a limited resource which is constantly being used up. It's like having a bathtub full of water which can never be replaced, and which is running down the drain. You have to use it as it runs down the drain or it's wasted. In other cultures, time is more plentiful, if not infinite. In old agricultural societies, time was often seen as circular, renewing itself each year. Implications

In societies where time is limited, punctuality becomes a virtue. It is insulting to waste someone's time, and the ability to do that and get away with it is an indication of superiority/status. Time is money. In cultures where time is plentiful, like India or Latin American, there is no problem with making people wait all day, and then tell them to come back the next day. Time-plentiful cultures tend to rely on trust to do business. Time-limited cultures don't have time to develop trust and so create other mechanisms to replace trust (such as strong rule-by-law).

Power Distance The extent to which people accept differences in power and allow this to shape many aspects of life. Is the boss always right because he is the boss, or only when he gets it right? Implications

In high power distance countries (most agrarian countries), bypassing a superior is unsubordination. In low power distance countries (US, northern europeans, Israel), bypassing is not usually a big deal. In the US, superiors and subordinates often interact socially as equals. An outsider watching a party of professors and graduate students typically cannot tell them apart.

Individualism vs Collectivism In individualist cultures, individual uniqueness, self-determination is valued. A person is all the more admirable if they are a "self-made man" or "makes up their own mind" or show initiative or work well independently. Collectivist cultures expect people to identify with and work well in groups which protect them in exchange for loyalty and compliance. Paradoxically, individualist cultures tend to believe that there are universal values that should be shared by all, while collectivist cultures tend to accept that different groups have different values. Many of the asian cultures are collectivist, while anglo cultures tend to be individualist. Implications

A market research firm conducted a survey of tourist agencies around the world. The questionnaires came back from most countries in less than a month. But the agencies in the asian countries took months to do it. After many telexes, it was finally done. The reason was that, for example, American tourist agencies assigned the work to one person, while the Filipinos delegated the work to the entire department, which took longer. The researchers also noticed that the telexes from the Philippines always came from a different person.

Problems Caused by Cultural Differences

You greet your Austrian client. This is the sixth time you have met over the last 4 months. He calls you Herr Smith. You think of him as a standoffish sort of guy who doesn't want to get really friendly. That might be true in America, where calling someone Mr. Smith after the 6th meeting would probably mean something -- it is marked usage of language -- like "we're not hitting it off". But in Austria, it is normal. A Canadian conducting business in Kuwait is surprised when his meeting with a high-ranking official is not held in a closed office and is constantly interrupted. He starts wondering if the official is as important as he had been led to believe, and he starts to doubt how seriously his business is being taken A British boss asked a new, young American employee if he would like to have an early lunch at 11 am each day. The employee said 'Yeah, that would be great!' The boss immediately said "With that kind of attitude, you may as well forget about lunch!" The employee and the boss were both baffled by what went wrong. [In England, saying "yeah" in that context is seen as rude and disrespectful.] A Japanese businessman wants to tell his Norwegian client that he is uninterested in a particular sale. So he says "That will be very difficult." The Norwegian eagerly asks how he can help. The Japanese is mystified. To him, saying that something is difficult is a polite way of saying "No way in hell!". Dave Barry tells the story of being on a trip to Japan and working with a Japanese airline clerk on taking a flight from one city to another. On being asked about it, the clerk said "Perhaps you would prefer to take the train." So he said "NO, I want to fly." So she said "There are many other ways to go."

He said "yes, but I think it would be best to fly." She said "It would very difficult". Eventually, it came out that there were no flights between those cities.

Three basic kinds of problems: interpreting others comments and actions, predicting behavior, and conflicting behavior.

Some Perceptions of Americans Europe & especially England. "Americans are stupid and unsubtle. And they are fat and bad dressers." Finland. "Americans always want to say your name: 'That's a nice tie, Mikko. Hi Mikko, how are you Mikko' Indian. "Americans are always in a hurry. Just watch the way they walk down the street." Kenyan. "Americans are distant. They are not really close to other people -- even other Americans." Turkey. "Once we were out in a rural area in the middle of nowhere and saw an American come to a stop sign. Though he could see in both directions for miles, and there was no traffic, he still stopped!" Colombia. "In the United States, they think that life is only work." Indonesia. "In the United States everything has to be talked about and analyzed. Even the littlest thing has to be 'Why, why why?'." Ethiopia. "The American is very explicit. He wants a 'yes' or 'no'. If someone tries to speak figuratively, the American is confused." Iran. "The first time my American professor told me 'I don't know, I will have to look it up', I was shocked. I asked myself 'Why is he teaching me?'"

Essential Bonds You can pick your friends, but you cant pick your coworkers. Yet you need these guys in more ways than one. First, you need their goodwill and cooperation in order to perform your own job well. Second, studies find that disagreements with coworkers and bad interoffice relationships deflate morale and impair performance even more than rumors of layoffs. And third, if youre like most people, you spend more waking hours at work than anywhere else. Reaching out to your colleagues or extending an olive branch, if need be can make your work environment a much nicer place in which to spend eight (or 10 or 12 or 14) hours a day even as it increases your job security. (In the event of a layoff, chances are the office loner or grouch is among the first to go.) You dont have to be friends with your coworkers, but you do need to be friendly. Read on for fresh ways to make work a kinder, gentler place. 1. Give a happy Hello! in the morning. Do you plod into the office, eyes down, shoulders slumped, and immediately start work? If so, youre likely to find that coworkers ignore you (at best) or avoid you (at worst). Get into the habit of smiling and greeting your colleagues as you arrive in the morning or begin your shift. Its really amazing how fast this little courtesy can thaw chilly workplace relations. 2. Learn the art of small talk. Ask your coworkers about their interests their favorite music, movies, and books, as well as their hobbies, suggests Larina Kase, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Center for Treatment and Study of Anxiety at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Showing a genuine interest in them will make them feel comfortable around you, she says. Once you know what floats their boat, clip items from newspapers or magazines to help start conversations. John, I saw this article about that singer you like, or, Mary, you like to knit, dont you? I found this great new knitting store not too far from here, and thought of you right away. 3. Join the office bowling or softball team. Many offices have them, and theyre a great way to get some exercise while you get to know your coworkers in an informal setting. 4. Accept good-natured teasing. Other workers sometimes play jokes and tease to test what kind of person you are. So if they poke fun at your new shoes or mischievously put a racy screensaver on your computer, dont get angry. Let them know that you love a good joke even if its sometimes on you. Of course, if the teasing is personal (about your weight or ethnicity, for example), makes it difficult for you to do your job, or makes you feel uncomfortable because of its sexual implications, you may need to take up the matter with your supervisor. 5. Ask what they think. People love to be asked their opinion, so go out of your way to ask, What do you think belongs in this report? or, How do you think I should handle this situation with client X? Then give the advice giver a sincere thank-you, even if the ideas are less than helpful. 6. Sidestep the gossip mill. You dont want anyone talking about you behind your back, right? So return the favor. When a coworker sidles up to you bearing a juicy tidbit of gossip about Bettys office romance

or Bills impending firing, respond with, Really? and then change the subject or get back to work. If you dont respond, the gossiper will move on and youll retain the trust and respect of your colleagues.

7. When dealing with a difficult coworker, pretend your kids are watching. This neat little visualization will help you keep a cool head. After all, youve taught your children to be mannerly. With them watching you, it will be difficult to stoop to the level of your infuriating colleague. 8. Ladle out the compliments. Did Tom fix the office copier again? Has the quiet secretary in the cubicle behind you lost 25 pounds? By all means, compliment your coworkers on their achievements personal or professional. Too often, we focus on what people are doing wrong. 9. Spread your good cheer. You dont have to be a Pollyanna, but try to perform one act of kindness a week, choosing a different coworker each time. For example, one week you might bring in doughnuts for no reason. Another week, it might be a card for a colleague maybe a thank-you note for helping you out last week, or a light, humorous card for a colleague who seems down. It can be fun and rewarding to see a colleagues face light up for no other reason than you picked them out of the crowd for a special kindness. 10. Return calls and e-mails promptly. To win friends at work, start with good office etiquette. Theres nothing more frustrating to busy coworkers than to have their emails and phone messages ignored. Your silence doesnt just make their jobs harder; it also conveys an unpleasant message: Youre unimportant to me. 11. Give credit where credit is due. Dont withhold credit from deserving coworkers. Youll alienate them, and they wont be there for you when you need them (or when they all go out for lunch). Embrace the attitude that we all win together, and let others know when a colleague has done something above and beyond on a project. Also, if someone incorrectly gives you credit and praise, acknowledge the coworker who deserves the accolades. 12. Heres one for the boss: Always work at least as hard as anyone working with or for you.Make it clear that you would never ask anyone to do a level of work you wouldnt be willing to take on yourself. 13. Always be on time to show you respect other peoples time. 14. Express your good ideas in a way that makes it clear they are not the only good ideas, but that others may have equally good insights to add. 15. Talk about your life outside the office when its appropriate. This will remind the people you work with that youre a person first, not just an employee or employer. 16. Assume the positive about what you dont know. Funny how a team of workers always think theyre working harder than those yahoos down the hall, and that the bosses are clueless. Dont subscribe to that kind of toxic thinking, even if its rampant. Its a negative attitude that makes work become miserable. Instead, assume that everyone else is working hard and doing their best, even if you dont know what their work is. You should believe both in the work youre doing and the organization youre doing it for. If you cant, perhaps its time to move on.