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    An Introvert'S Guide To Small Talk

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    Manuel Bouzas
    This document provides tips for introverts to feel more comfortable engaging in small talk. It suggests reducing anxiety by staying positive and focusing on purpose rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. Introverts should channel their natural curiosity by listening attentively in conversations. They can also ask questions to learn about others and keep discussions flowing without being the sole focus. While questions are good, introverts should also share brief but engaging details about themselves to avoid coming across as interrogating others. The tips encourage deepening conversations with open-ended follow up questions to move discussions to more meaningful topics. Introverts should recognize social cues and respond appropriately to signals that a conversation needs adjustment. Most importantly, introverts should be kind to themselves and not dwell

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    An Introvert'S Guide To Small Talk

    Uploaded by

    Manuel Bouzas
    151 views3 pages
    This document provides tips for introverts to feel more comfortable engaging in small talk. It suggests reducing anxiety by staying positive and focusing on purpose rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. Introverts should channel their natural curiosity by listening attentively in conversations. They can also ask questions to learn about others and keep discussions flowing without being the sole focus. While questions are good, introverts should also share brief but engaging details about themselves to avoid coming across as interrogating others. The tips encourage deepening conversations with open-ended follow up questions to move discussions to more meaningful topics. Introverts should recognize social cues and respond appropriately to signals that a conversation needs adjustment. Most importantly, introverts should be kind to themselves and not dwell

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    This document provides tips for introverts to feel more comfortable engaging in small talk. It suggests reducing anxiety by staying positive and focusing on purpose rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. Introverts should channel their natural curiosity by listening attentively in conversations. They can also ask questions to learn about others and keep discussions flowing without being the sole focus. While questions are good, introverts should also share brief but engaging details about themselves to avoid coming across as interrogating others. The tips encourage deepening conversations with open-ended follow up questions to move discussions to more meaningful topics. Introverts should recognize social cues and respond appropriately to signals that a conversation needs adjustment. Most importantly, introverts should be kind to themselves and not dwell

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    151 views3 pages

    An Introvert'S Guide To Small Talk

    Uploaded by

    Manuel Bouzas
    This document provides tips for introverts to feel more comfortable engaging in small talk. It suggests reducing anxiety by staying positive and focusing on purpose rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. Introverts should channel their natural curiosity by listening attentively in conversations. They can also ask questions to learn about others and keep discussions flowing without being the sole focus. While questions are good, introverts should also share brief but engaging details about themselves to avoid coming across as interrogating others. The tips encourage deepening conversations with open-ended follow up questions to move discussions to more meaningful topics. Introverts should recognize social cues and respond appropriately to signals that a conversation needs adjustment. Most importantly, introverts should be kind to themselves and not dwell

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    of 3

    Reading Skills Módulo 4B – Small Talk

    AN INTROVERT'S GUIDE TO SMALL TALK


    1. Reduce anxiety.

    Introverts may approach small talk with anxiety, ranging from slight apprehension to debilitating dread. One introvert told
    me that he hides in the bathroom or fiddles with his phone to avoid idle chitchat. To curb your anxiety, stay rational and
    positive. Tell yourself any of the following (the first four tips are adapted from Alan Garner's excellent book,
    Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness):

    “The anxiety is coming from me and my beliefs, not the situation. I can do this.”

    “What’s the worse that can happen? If they don’t like me, so what?”

    “Just because [XYZ] happened in the past, doesn’t mean it will happen again.”

    "Labels don't define me. I'm an interesting, worthy person with a lot to contribute."

    "Everyone needs someone to talk to at networking events. If I strike up a conversation with that person, he or she will
    probably be glad to have someone to talk to."

    “I will reward myself with a quiet evening on the couch, watching my favorite movie.”

    2. Be purposeful.

    Thoughts tend to be self-fulfilling. If you approach small talk with the belief that it will be dull and pointless, it probably
    will. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts (“I’m awful at this,” “I hate small talk,” or “when can I go home?”), remind
    yourself that small talk isn't superficial. Small talk serves an important purpose - it helps build the foundation for authentic
    conversations and deeper relationships down the road. Think of small talk as the light appetizer before the main course,
    and approach it with renewed purpose.

    3. Channel your curiosity.

    Introverts tend to be curious people. They love digging deep, delving into topics that interest them, and learning what
    makes people tick. Channel your natural curiosity into small talk. When you ask “how are you?” or “how was your
    weekend?”, approach the conversation with genuine interest. Carefully listen to the other person, and provide a thoughtful
    response. If you show true interest, you’ll invite further discussion and set a positive tone for future interactions.
    4. Ask questions.

    Introverts tend to feel uncomfortable in the spotlight. They are often reluctant to disclose too much about themselves,
    especially to new people. So how can you start conversations and keep them flowing? The answer is simple – ask
    questions. By allowing the other person to take center stage initially, you can build your comfort level and test the waters
    before sharing your own thoughts. If you feel uncomfortable or fatigued mid-conversation, ask more questions and
    subtly turn the attention away from yourself. (But do not be tempted to let the other person do all the talking! See tip
    #5.)

    5. Add juicy tidbits.

    If you relentlessly pepper the other person with questions, it will feel like an interrogation. At some point, you must share
    a bit about yourself. Do not provide one-word, closed responses; these cut the conversation short. Instead, embellish
    your responses with juicy tidbits of information. By providing multi-faceted responses, you can provide “hooks” for the
    other person to continue the conversation. For example:

    Question: "How are you?" Short response: "Fine." Better response: "Good, thanks. I'm getting ready for my vacation to
    England. It will be my first time in Europe, and I look forward to trying proper English tea."

    Question: "Where are you from?" Short response: "Seattle." Better response: "I'm from Seattle. It doesn't rain all the
    time, and I enjoyed the amazing seafood and coffee. There are Starbucks on every corner."

    Question: "What did you do this weekend?" Short response: "I went house-hunting." Better response: "I went house-
    hunting. We're considering the city versus the suburbs. We can get more house in the suburbs, but the trade-off is the
    commute."

    6. Deepen the conversation.

    Simple questions tend to elicit a one-word answer. Open-ended questions, on the other hand, can spark longer and
    richer discussions. Start with simple questions. After all, you don’t want to scare the other person away. In
    Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness, Alan Garner suggests
    following up simple questions with open-ended ones. Open-ended questions can nudge the conversation into deeper,
    more authentic territory – where introverts tend to thrive. Here are a few examples:

    "Where are you from?", followed by "What is your hometown like? How is it different than here?"

    "What do you do?", followed by "How did you enter that profession? What brought you to that type of work?"

    "Have you attended events organized by this group before?" followed by "What did you think of today's presentation?"
    7. Recognize cues.

    Introverts are often misunderstood. Other people may interpret the introvert’s reserved nature as snobbish, or they may
    find an introvert’s deep passion for a particular topic to be too intense or serious. As an introvert, you can search for
    cues and learn to respond appropriately. For example, if the other person seems taken aback by your reserved nature,
    be sure to smile and express genuine enthusiasm in the conversation. Or if the other person starts to get fidgety while
    you’re speaking at length on a subject, it’s probably time to switch to another topic or wrap up the conversation.

    8. Be kind to yourself.

    Introverts are typically introspective souls who can concentrate for long periods of time. However, this gift can become
    a curse when introverts dwell on their own perceived faults and failures. If a particular endeavor didn’t go well, introverts
    may replay the episode in their minds and berate themselves for not doing things differently. If you botched up a
    conversation or wish you hadn’t said this or that, take a few minutes to reflect and focus on your “takeaway” lesson for
    next time. Then simply let it go. Everyone makes mistakes. To accomplish anything worthwhile, you must be willing to
    fail many times (and occasionally look silly) before achieving success.

    1
    Fonte: https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinapark/2015/03/30/an-introverts-guide-to-small-talk-eight-painless-tips/?sh=11c0f810574a

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