7MODULE 5:

HUMAN RELATIONSHIP IN AFRICAN TRADITIONAL

RELIGION IN BOTSWANA AND CHRISTIANITY
FAMILY: A family is a group of people living together who are related
by blood, marriage, adoption and assimilation.
TYPES OF FAMILY STRUCTURES
CHRISTIANITY
-Nuclear family: It considered the most ideal family structure.
-It is made up of both parents: husband, wife and their children only.
AFRICAN TRADITIONAL RELIGION IN BOTSWANA
-Extended family: It is the most ideal family structure.
-It is made up of parents, children and other relatives such as
grandparents, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces and cousins.
-The extended family structure is made up of several generations from a
common ancestor.
TYPES OF EXTENDED FAMILY IN AFRICAN TRADITIONAL
RELIGION IN BOTSWANA
1. Matrilineal family: is the family structure in which property and status
are inherited through the father’s line. (Paternal line)
-It is the most common type of extended family in Africa.
-The father is the head of the family
-The headship is not a joint headship; authority is not shared but belongs
to the father.

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-The wife in a patrineal family has influence and power particularly in
matters of teaching traditional values to children.

2. Matrilineal family: It is the family structure in which property and

status is inherited through the mother’s line (maternal line).
-It is the least common type of extended family in Africa.
-There seems to be more equality in marriage than in patrilineal.
IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS IN AFRICAN
TRADITIONAL RELIGION IN BOTSWANA
1. Emotional support: Members of the family are always there for
each other during good and bad times, for example: in ATR in
Botswana family members comfort each other during bereavement
by staying with the bereaved family for some time.

Benefits
-The bereaved will feel that they are loved and cared for.
-Help the bereaved cope with the stressful situation, for example:
through counseling and messages of condolences
-Sense of belonging as the family members provides a shoulder to
lean on in times of need or feel that they are not abandoned.
Gives them strength and courage to move on with life challenges.

However
-Some family members may fail to provide emotional support as
they may not be conversant with issues related to counseling, for
example: some may be judgmental about the cause of death.
-Conflict may arise as a result of attributing the cause of death on
some family members or community members (witchcraft)

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 2. Material support: Members provide for others when they are in
need. In ATR in Botswana,Tswana family members or Batswana
provide for those who are poor for example: through mafisa

Socialization: In ATR in Botswana grandparents and members of the

older generation introduced young children to their religious beliefs
(belief in modimo, religious duties and expectations)and practices(patlo
and guidance and counseling) and basic values of the society. The child
is taught to obey and serve all the adults in the community, if an
individual became a misfit it was seen as a failure of that particular
family. There are some proverbs in ATR in Botswana which shows the
importance of socializing children in the family: LORE LO OJWA LE
SA LE METSI or LE SA LEGALE.This emphasizes the importance of
teaching children good behavior while they are still young so that they
do not embarrass their families.
BENEFITS
*good family relations, children will grow in loving and comfortable
environment.
*makes children aware of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
*mutual respect for each other resulting in harmonious relationships.
HOWEVER
*some family members are bad role models and can influence children
in a bad way.
*due to personal interest children may decide not to adhere to basic
values, religious teachings and values passed by parents being
disadvantage on socialization.

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IMPORTANCE OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS IN
CHRISTIANITY
1. Material support: In Christian churches e.g. Seventh Day Adventist,
ZCC (KGANYA which is monetary contributions to aid the bereaved)
they may donate basic needs such as food, clothing to the less privileged
family members.
BENEFITS
*Offerings donated by these Christian churches maybe used for burial
purposes (e, g, chairs and tents)
HOWEVER
*People may not look after the chairs and tents loaned by the churches
which may be damaged.
2. Emotional support: In Christianity e.g. different Christian churches
(UCCSA, RARA) comfort the bereaved families by conducting morning
and evening prayers at the deceased family. They recite verses from the
Bible which help to give them hope.
*They also visit the sick at hospitals as a way of offering emotional
support.
3. Norms and Values: Parents spend most of their time teaching children
about their religion. In Christian denominations such as SDA,
MEMBERS ARE TAUGHT THE CHRITIAN NORMS AND VALUES
E.G they are taught that members ought to praise and worship God
hence there are blessings associated.
BENEFITS
*INSTIL MORAL DISCIPLINE IN CHILDERN
*Christian values fortify or strengthens relationship e.g. faithfulness,
loyalty, love, respect resulting in less conflict and misunderstandings.
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HOWEVER (similar to socialization in ATR)

WAYS OF STRENGTHINING FAMILY TIES IN CHISTIANITY

1. Worship: family members get together for prayer meetings.e.g
families in Assemblies of God has daily scripture reading in order for
them to have the same understanding and to follow the biblical
teachings.
BENEFITS
*Binds them together and brings the family closer to God hence
blessings associated with pleasing God.
HOWEVER

 Devotion may take up people’s time to do other things

 Worship can create conflicts within family being a hindrance as it
clashes with people’s interests.
 Stereotypic thinking i.e. obsessed with their religion
 Restricts freewill or freedom of choice
2. Collective responsibility; it is the responsibility of both parents to
raise and support children as the Biblical teaching emphasizes that
parents must bring up children in the discipline and instruction of the
Lord (Ephesians 6:4)
BENEFITS

 CHILDREN BECOME SOCIALLY relevant or sociable

 Encourages moral discipline i.e. they have focus and are not easily
persuaded or influenced.
HOWEVER

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  Parents may fail to be collectively responsible for upbringing their
children because of different religious affiliations or convictions
due to this conflicts may be generated.
 Parents can have different personalities because of these
personalities, the child may not know what is right and wrong and
the child might hate one of the parents as they don’t know who to
listen to and may rely on the parent who is lenient but not the one
who is harsh leading to dilemma in children.
STRENGTHENING FAMILY TIES IN ATR IN BOTSWANA
1. Family rituals: family members come together to celebrate occasions
such as Mantsho a ngwana, marriage ceremony and rituals amongst
others. Rituals such as ‘go phekola or go pasha dikgaba’ are performed
by family members when one is not well. This is meant to talk to
Badimo and ask them to ask Modimo on their behalf to make the person
well. Purification rituals are performed when one member is said to have
bad omen (senyama). This strengthens family ties as all members are
expected to attend and support each other.
BENEFITS
*Brings family together due to feasting which brings them together.
*they establish bonds during the ceremony
*through botsetse they celebrate an additional member into the family
and brings happiness as child bearing is highly appreciated in ATR.
*purification rituals also bring people together hence relationships are
somehow fortified.
*rival groups are brought together and work together.

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*differences are set aside and bring people together to celebrate the
establishment of new bond. Ceremonies are recognition of family in
ATR. People come together to give each other support.
HOWEVER

 Some individuals may take this as an advantage to disrupt the

marriage or wedding ceremony.
3. Collective responsibility: Family members shared responsibility in the
household e.g. in doing household chores: raising children, teaching
them norms and values of the family. It was the responsibility of
different family members to socialize children e.g. grandparents,
parents, uncles and aunts have different roles in socializing children.
BENEFITS

 This strengthens family ties as all members are involved in raising

up children
 Furthermore a child was placed under the care of different family
members so that he or she can learn to live with any family
members so that in cases of death of parents the child may not
have difficulties of staying with them.
 This strengthened family ties because a child belonged to all
family members. A child grew up knowing that any member of the
family is his or her parent.
HOWEVER

 Some family members may fail to take care of children under their
custody and conflicts may occur and misunderstanding because of
ill treatment (abused, not fed or being over worked) of children and
family ties may not be strengthened.
 It is emotionally traumatizing to be placed under custody of family
relatives for the child as the child may not be used to the relatives
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 leading to the child being stressed leading to ruining parents’
relations.
 Family relatives may abuse children placed under their
custody(sexually or emotional abuse)
MARRIAGE
It is a legal union between a man and a woman as husband wife.
TYPES OF MARRIAGE
*Monogamy: when a man is married to only on wife.
* Polygamy: When a man is allowed to marry more than one wife.
*Polyandry: when a woman marries more than one husband.
TYPES OF MARRIAGE IN CHRISTIANITY

 Emphasis is on Monogamous marriage as it is regarded as a gift

from GOD and covenant of love between a man and a woman.
TYPES OF MARRIAGE IN ATR IN BOTSWANA

 Both monogamy and polygamy are allowed.

VALUE OF MARRIAGE IN CHRISTIANITY
1. Companionship: Men and women are expected to love one
another. They are expected to help and comfort each other through
life. Eve was created from a rib from the side of Adam, signifying
that she was not to control him as the head, not to be trampled
under his feet as inferior but to stand by his side as an equal to be
loved and protected by him. Thus women should fill the position
which God originally designed for her as her husband’s equal.
BENEFITS
*Comfort
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*support
*care and concern for each other
HOWEVER

 Companionship can be impossible due to issues of

compatibility(unable to get along due to conflicting interest)
 It can be affected by parental interference in marriage

2. Marriage is for life: Marriage is meant to be permanent. Jesus

reaffirmed the permanence of marriage and said that husbands and wives
should help each other to grow as persons by their faithful love. He
taught that God gives power to love unselfishly and faithfully. God has
provided humanity with a model of the perfect marriage partner as they
view him in relationships to his bride i.e. the church. Throughout the
pages of the scripture, God is presented as a loving spouse who shows
care and love, exhibits tender with regard for the feelings of his partner,
treats her with dignity and respect, allows freedom of choice. Through
all difficulties of the relationship, he keeps his covenant and makes great
personal sacrifices to maintain their union.
BENEFITS
*Where there is love there is mutual respect.
HOWEVER
*Marriage cannot be permanent as people mature or grow, values can
change. Marriage suffers a great tragedy at the fall of humanity’s sins,
therefore tendencies to exploit or dominate suffering into the lives of
marriage partners. Marriage is not for everyone. Though marriage is
God’s plan, many members of the society are single due to marriage or
inability to find suitable partners because marriage brings discomfort. To

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some individuals, the mention of marriage brings discomfort due to their
experience in marriage or their point of comfort with others.
VALUES OF MARRIAGE IN ATR IN BOTSWANA
1. Unites families and communities: Marriage concert the relationship
between two families rather than between two individuals. Marriage is
not a private affair but it affects the whole community. Furthermore,
marriage is an alliance as it brings hostile or rival groups together or
brings people together. Family members of the bride and the groom will
meet to discuss issues of marriage. Sometimes there are exchanges of
gifts to symbolize the beginning of a lifelong relationship between
families and communities.
BENEFITS
*Strengthens family bonds and relations which will in turn enable
members to cooperate and relate well with each other, show love foe
each other and concern for one another, share each other’s burdens and
deal with challenges as a group and support each other.
HOWEVER
*It also gives rival groups the opportunity to carry out evil acts against
them or bewitch the family/families because they have been brought
close to the family/families.
* Negotiations can sometimes be lengthy due to involvement of many
people with different opinions or view points and may result in conflicts
and misunderstandings which negate the idea of unity.
2. Procreation: Husband and wife have/had a responsibility of bearing
children and raising them. A childless marriage was seen as a curse
or was looked down upon as a failure (discriminated, lose status
and value). Children are seen as a way of cheating death and a way

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 of storing assets for the future. Furthermore, children extend the
family lineage, they cemented marriage.
HOWEVER
*Child bearing might not be possible in certain families probably due to
ill health or heredity factors resulting in conflicts, misunderstandings
and even divorce.
*Desire to pursue further educational studies may be a problem hence
marriage becomes valueless.
PROCESSES/CUSTOMS OF MARRIAGE IN ATR IN
BOTSWANA
1. Engagement/Peo letlhokwa: Both the groom and the bride’s
parents engage in some discussions whereby usually they choose a
bride with some desired behaviors and some avoided issues such as
disability, witchcraft and others. If the two parents agree then the
boy’s parents give the girl’s parents a gift in the form of a cow or
sheep.
2. Patlo: This is a long discussion between the girl’s parents (uncles
and aunts) and the boy’s parents (uncles and aunts) to negotiate the
bride price. The bride price is mostly in the form of cattle which
will help the girl’s parents to sustain their lives as their daughter
will no longer be living with them.
3. Counseling (go laya): During this session, the bride to be is
counseled by married women since they have experience in
marriage. She will be taught about how to behave herself in her
new status. The groom is also counseled by the married men.
4. Wedding celebration: The bride wears a veil (lomipi) from a
slaughtered cow and she is taken to the groom’s home.

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However
-The fact that the parents’childen are the ones negotiating on behalf of
their children, it could pose as a threat to the newly married couple
since the issue of compatibility in the family would be impossible
hence leading to the marriage being unstable due to continuous
conflicts and misunderstandings.
-Sometimes, some families may demand too much in terms of
payment of bogadi which could lead to the groom(husband) abusing
the bride(wife) because he would feel more powerful since he has
paid a lot of cattle hence leading to unstable marriage.
MARRIAGE PROCESSES/CUSTOMS IN CHRISTIANITY
1. Dating and courtship: In Christianity, children are free to choose
whoever they want to get married to and the parents will always
advice them to choose someone who is also a Christian and upholds
the Christian principles/values. After one has found a perfect match
then they will get into courtship.
2. Counseling: During this process of counseling, the pastor/minister
of the church gives some advice to the couple. There is pre counseling
session which is done before marriage as a way to prepare the couple
for commitment of marriage. There is also post counseling session
which is also done by the pastor or minister to ensure sustainability of
the marriage between the couple. They emphasis on the Christian
teachings/values during the counseling session.
3. Wedding celebration: The bride normally puts/wears a white dress
as a way to signify that she is pure and the groom puts on an elegant
suit. Then they exchange the wedding rings and vows as a sign of
commitment to their marriage. The pastor then blesses the couple in
front of the witnesses and pronounces them as husband and wife.

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Benefit
-This will help in curbing issues which could pose a threat of the
marriage.
-Prepares the couple to be committed to each other.
-Enhances the sustainability of the marriage.
However
-It is not always a guarantee that the couples though they are
Christians, they will put in place the Christian principles/values; some
may decide to live their own life outside Christianity.
- Some pastors during counseling sessions may tend to become bias
in terms of dealing with some issues concerning the married couple.
- Since in Christianity they emphasis on ‘No sex before marriage’, it
may turn out to be a disadvantage to the couple in case they will fail
to bear children within their marriage.
CHALLENGES FACING MARRIAGE IN ATR IN
BOTSWANA
1. Infertility/bareness: This is a situation whereby one of the spouses
is unable to bear children. In ATR, they believe that in most cases
a woman was the one who can be infertile.

Challenges
- In ATR a childless marriage was seen as a curse therefore it was
not recognized as a complete marriage
- Can lead to conflicts/misunderstandings in the family as the
couple would be accusing one another.
- Can lead to the husband deserting his wife or even having extra
marital affairs.
- Can lead to polygamous marriage
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 Benefit
- Can give parents/couple an allowance to bond freely
- Gives the couple an opportunity to even further their studies or
to explore the world
- The couple would be economically stable since they would not
be having a large family.
- Gives an opportunity to children who do not have parents to be
adopted by his couple.

2. Economical challenges on polygamous marriage: This is where a

man marries more than one wife (polygamy). It was done mostly in
ATR as a way to curb infertility.
Challenges
- Can lead to a compromised way of raising children especially if
there is only one breadwinner in the family.
- Can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings especially among
the women in the family.
Benefit
- Shared responsibilities were easy and work was easily done
within a short period of time.
- Extends lineage/family name
- A sign of status in the society
- Curb infertility which could lead to divorce.
CHALLENGES FACING MARRIAGE IN CHRISTIANITY
1. Infertility(same in ATR)
2. Secularization: These are the changes/challenges brought in by
modernization which affects marriage life in Christianity such as

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 homosexuality, prostitution, abortion which undermines the
Christian marriage.
Challenges
- The value of Christian marriage is undermined because of
modernization, that is: people choose not to get married to the
people of the opposite sex but to the same sex marriage,
therefore does not serve the purpose of marriage in Christianity
which is ‘Be fruitful and multiply’.
- High divorce cases due to people de valuing marriage.
Benefit
- Gives people the opportunity to explore themselves as they have
been given the chance by God (choice).
- To some people life is not about being married therefore they
can even have a sigh of status outside marriage.
WAYS OF SUSTAINING MARRIAGE IN ATR IN BOTSWANA
1. Child bearing: Fortifies the marriage because it cements the bond
between the husband and wife.
Benefit
- Chores can easily be carried out
- Source of pride and status as a childless family was stigmatized
and labeled in ATR(recognition and confidence)
- Ensures continuity/family lineage/legacy(family name
continues)
However
- Expensive to raise children
- Too demanding
- Some children may bring shame to the family due to their
conduct
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 2. Polygamy: Also assisted in sustaining the marriage relationship
especially if the first wife was barren, polygamy was the kindest
solution.
Benefit (same as child bearing)
3. Spiritual fortification: Involves traditional doctors/healers which
were consulted and fortified family marriages.

Benefit
- Protected the family from witches/wizards
- Consulted to provide healing services
However
- Some traditional doctors may claim to be knowledgeable whilst
they are not but to enrich themselves.
CHRISTIANITY
1. Marriage counselors: There is pre and post marriage counseling, for
example: Christian denominations such as the Roman Catholic
Church, there are trained counselors who advice couples on
challenges facing marriage, for example: financial problems,
conflicts and misunderstandings, parental interference.
Benefit
- Reconciliation
- Forgiveness
- Alternatives offered
However
- Advice given/offered may not be a remedy to the problem
- Lack of confidentiality

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 2. Consultation/dialogue: Couples must be open to each other. They
must share ideas and easily or openly communicate with each other
regarding all the matters.
Benefit
- Builds trust
- Fortifies/strengthens bonds
However
- Not easy to disclose everything
- Some secrets when revealed bring disharmony and disunity
ROLES OF MEN IN ATR
1. Heads of families: They provide for the family, provision can
either be in terms of food, security, shelter. ‘Monna ke tlhogo ya
lelwapa’.
Benefit
- Accountability: accountable for daily activities of the family,
anything happening in the family unit.
- Plan activities in the home
- Makes decisions
- Guide and discipline children especially boys (impact skills and
knowledge to boys regarding their male duties).
However
- Because the man makes decisions in the family, he may make
decisions without consulting the wife which can lead to
conflicts and misunderstandings thus may lead to
exploitation/abuse since decisions are made by one individual.
- Not all men are good role models. Some men are bad role
models thus making it for them to fail to guide their children.
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ROLES OF WOMEN IN ATR
1. Expected to socialize girls: to teach girls’ women’s responsilities,
girls care, love related matters, traditions, norms and values which
are done through teachings.

Benefit
- If these children uphold all those teachings, there would be
mutual trust, cooperation and tolerance.
However
- It is not always guaranteed that the old woman’s
teachings/experiences may be relevant to the contemporary
society all the time.
- Some women can be bad role models because what they teach
might not be what they practice. They may teach that a man’s
authority should not be questioned and yet them portraying a
different behavior thus thereby leading to confusion resulting in
delinquency or children may not be well mannered due to the
behavior portrayed by parents.

CHANGING ROLES OF MEN AND WOMEN IN THE MODERN

SOCIETY
 Men are no longer the primary breadwinners for the family –
women nowadays are working and are breadwinners.

Benefits
- Promotes equality
- Share responsibility

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 However
- Women may abuse men
- Men may abuse women if the women are working, and the men is
unemployed.
- Responsibility may not always be shared equally

 Men nowadays do household chores e.g., men are now chefs

 Women can make decision in the family e.g., family planning,

financial planning

 Women can now chiefs, engaged in politics, work for the

government (ministers )

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