Radical Compassion:

Learning to Love Yourself

and Your World with the
Practice of RAIN

A Guide for Book Groups

and Personal Exploration

Tara Brach

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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com
 C Part I. How Attention Heals
ompassion is the medicine we most
need as individuals and as a species to
heal suffering and free our spirits. And
while we each have the capacity for love and
CHAPTER 1: RAIN Creates a Clearing
compassion, it is by intentional practice that
1. What are the trancelike “forests” of limiting
we develop a truly wise and caring hearts.
beliefs you habitually get lost in?
Radical Compassion introduces the RAIN
2. How do you know you are in trance? (see
meditation as a powerful spiritual technology
Flags of Trance on page 10) How does getting
for cultivating compassion in the face of
lost in trance impact you in your life - what
difficult emotions, limiting beliefs and
do you forget about yourself when you are in
conflicts with others. Through the acronym
trance?
RAIN (Recognize-Allow-Investigate-
Nurture) we can awaken the qualities of
3. Take a few moments to practice the U-Turn
mature compassion—an embodied, mindful
with the guided reflection below. Bring to
presence, active caring, and all-inclusive
mind one of your standard trances and take
heart.
some time to explore the story behind it.
Then, take a breath and shift your attention
I’m excited to offer this resource to guide you
to your bodily sensations and any emotions
as you explore Radical Compassion, and my
that arise. Notice what happens when you
hope is that these inquiries will enrich your
make this shift. Discuss or journal. Guided
path of healing and awakening!
Reflection: From “If Only” Trance to Open
Hearted Presence
With Loving Blessings,
4. What gets in the way of making this U-Turn
Tara in your daily life? What might help (or has
helped) you to make the U-Turn back to your
present moment experience?

5. What are some instances where you

“touched presence” in your life? What was
your experience of presence? How does it
differ from being in trance?

6. Take a moment to reflect on your deepest

intention as you begin your journey with
Radical Compassion. You might write this
down in your journal or on a post-it (or even
create some art around the theme) and put
it somewhere visible as a reminder. When
you see it, pause and take 30 seconds to
remember and reflect on this aspiration.
Guided Practice: What Does Your Heart Most
Long For?

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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com
 CHAPTER 2: RAIN Says Yes to Life an effort (even if unsuccessful) to meet your
basic needs for safety, approval and love
1. Please share a few ways (physically, (pages 35-36)?
emotionally or behaviorally) that you say “no”
to your inner and/or outer life. 2. Take some time to practice with the Calling
on Your Future Self meditation found on page
2. How has saying “no” perpetuated your 46, or with the guided practice below. What
limiting beliefs? images, feelings and qualities of being arise
in this practice? Guided Practice: Calling on
3. Tara asks you to imagine inviting Mara to Your Future Self
tea when he appears in your life. Explore and
discuss the ways Mara shows up in your life, 3. Do you relate to the idea of a future self
and what it might be like to invite him to tea. as your wisest, kindest self? When and how
have you experienced this part of yourself?
4. Revisit the reflection on page 29, and listen Who are you when you are living from this
to the short talk and guided practice below place? (see “Calling on Your Future Self” on
(11:23 min). What was your experience? What pages 46-47).
might it be like to try this in your daily life?
Short Talk & Guided Reflection: Saying Yes to 4. Use the guided RAIN meditation to
Our Life practice on your own, or together with your
group. Spend some intentional moments
5. Take some moments to Recognize and to notice what you are experiencing “After
Allow right now. As you say “yes” to what is the RAIN”. What, if anything, has shifted or
arising, notice any changes in your body and changed? Pay particular attention to your
any emotions that arise. sense of identity, your sense of who you
really are. Journal or discuss with your group.
CHAPTER 3: RAIN Reveals Your True Guided Meditation: The Practice of RAIN
Self
5. What do you find difficult about doing the
1. What are the strategies and defenses that RAIN meditation? What emotions, thoughts
make up your protective coverings, the “ego or doubts seem challenging? How might you
space suit?” How has your spacesuit been work with them? (pages 47-50).

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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com
 PART II. Bringing RAIN to CHAPTER 5: Freeing Yourself from
Shame
Your Inner Life
1. What are some examples of toxic (“I’m
CHAPTER 4: Releasing Negative Self- bad”) shame and healthy shame (impetus for
Beliefs improvement) in your life?

1. What is your case against yourself, your 2. Reflect on the story of the prodigal son...
argument that you are deficient or flawed? the grasping younger brother, the blaming
How old are these beliefs? What might be the older brother and the nurturing, loving father.
origins of these beliefs? In what ways do you identify (or not) with
each? Which do you identify with most?
2. How is your inner dialogue influenced Why?
by negativity and confirmation biases?
In what ways do these fuel the trance of 3. Reflect on your practice of RAIN. What
unworthiness in your life? challenges do you encounter with the N of
RAIN? What gets in the way of self-nurturing?
3. What stops you from letting go of self-
limiting beliefs? What is frightening about 4. Let’s begin now to build your inner
releasing them? resource of nurturing. Review the Resource
Anchors on pages 79-80 and reflect on what
4. Consider one limiting belief that you feel would help you to access your internal source
holds you back from living and loving fully. of nurturing. What words, images or touch
Take a moment to explore it. Are you certain that might help awaken a sense of safety and
that this belief is actually true? Is it possible love?
that it is “real but not true” (page 61)? Who
would you be if you didn’t believe this about 5. Practice the meditation on Letting in
yourself? Love on page 84-85. What message did
you receive from the heartspace of loving
5. Practice: Spend some time over the next presence? How can you keep that alive in
few days practicing RAIN with 2 or 3 of the your daily life? You might also enjoy the short
limiting beliefs that arise most often in your guided practice below. What most reminds
life. You might use the meditation on pages you of the sacred loving presence that shines
68-69, which emphasizes the Inquiry step through us all? Guided Practice: Blessings of
of RAIN, or try this guided practice: Guided Love
Reflection: The Power of Inquiry

What do you notice when you practice RAIN?

What shifts or changes in your practice and/
or as you move into the other activities in
your day? Journal and/or share in next week’s
group.

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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com
 CHAPTER 6: Awakening from the CHAPTER 7: Discovering Your
Grip of Fear Deepest Longing
1. Reflect on what you are unwilling or afraid 1. How do you experience FOMO in your life?
to feel in your life - it could be related to your How does the fixation on living fully and/
career, a loved one, a concern about how you or pleasure keep you hooked? Discuss your
are living your life, a worry about the world or sense of “if only” and chronic dissatisfaction
the future. Bring a specific situation to mind with life as it is, right now.
and explore how your resistance to exploring
this emotional terrain has impacted your life. 2. Take a few moments to become present
with yourself and notice what is happening
2. How have you experienced “emotional inside. Try on this phrase: “Life is enough
hijack” in your daily life? Identify one or more in this moment. You don’t have to change
particular scenarios that repeatedly trigger things. This is it!” What do you notice? Share
your limbic system and hijack your prefrontal your experience or journal.
cortex.
3. Take a few moments to look back over your
3. Choose one of the situations from life. What are the most critical unmet needs?
Question #2 and take some moments to What has left you feeling “a hole in the soul”?
practice RAIN. When you get to the N of RAIN, How have you coped with these? What is
you might ask “what does this place inside the connection between these attachment
me need most”? Journal or share about what wounds and any addictive behaviors you
you learned. might have (food, alcohol, drugs, social
media, exercise, work, worry). Journal or
4. Review the three meditation pathways discuss what you discover.
on pages 107 - 108. Choose one to practice.
Think back to a recent time when you have 4. Listen to the audio meditation below.
been hijacked by your emotional brain - Describe your experience. What did you
where intense emotions have taken over notice? What would it be like to receive what
and you have felt overwhelmed, unsafe, out your heart most longs for? Guided Practice:
of control. If this is not alive for you in the Bringing RAIN to the Wanting Mind
moment, go through the R-A-I of RAIN to
awaken these emotions. Take some time to
bring to bear your resource of kind presence.
Share or journal about this experience.

For further exploration on strategies for

safety when working with fear and trauma,
download this free guide: Mindfulness
Strategies for Working with Trauma and
Strong Fear

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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com
 PART III: RAIN and Your 6. Thinking of someone you feel some
willingness or intention to forgive (pages 153-
Relationships 154), practice the RAIN of Forgiveness guided
meditation below. Remember that this is
CHAPTER 8: A Forgiving RAIN often a life process, forgiving yourself for any
ideas of falling short, or not achieving perfect
1. In what way do you find in yourself “blame forgiveness. Journal and/or discuss how this
ready to happen”? Are there particular practice impacted you. RAIN on Blame: A
repeat stories that fan this blame - how you Guided Meditation
or someone you love has been treated by
a friend, family member, a work colleague, CHAPTER 9: Seeing the Goodness
a stranger? Or perhaps it comes when you
look at what is happening in the world - to 1. Journal about or discuss the inner gold of
particular people or to the environment. a few people close to you, starting with the
Journal or discuss. line: I see the goodness when... Use this line
repeatedly to draw out your awareness, using
2. Using the reflection on Unreal Other and different evocative situations or events.
Unreal Self (page 146), find an example in your Notice how seeing the goodness in another
life where you have cut off another person or awakens your own heart. Choose one person
group of people. Notice what happens in your who came to mind, and share what you
body when you hone in on this blame. How wrote with them.
have you made this person or these people
“Unreal Other(s)” and diminished yourself to 2. Reflect on how you get caught in the
an “Unreal Self”? What qualities of goodness trance of unworthiness, and how this
are you missing about yourself and others impacts both how you see yourself and
when you do this? others. Choose one recent event that
triggered this trance, something that
3. Using the person or people identified in happened at work, at home, with friends or
Question 2, reflect on what happens when colleagues, with your family or alone. Starting
you consider the idea of letting go of blaming with a body deep sense of these feelings,
them, forgiving them? What is under the practice RAIN or bring to bear the prompts
blame - what would you need to feel if you in the reflection “Recalling your Goodness
stopped blaming them? at Difficult Times” on page 180. Notice any
shifts in consciousness - how did this help
4. Review the misconceptions about you become aware of your goodness or
forgiveness on pages 149 - 152. Discuss how change your perspective?
some or any of these ring true for you and
have gotten in the way of forgiving. 3. Who are the people in your life who have
mirrored your goodness? What have they
5. Looking again to a particular target of your helped you believe about yourself? Take
blame, how do you see yourself as a victim of some time to allow yourself to absorb this
that person or people? How does this keep nurturing and to appreciate the people who
you in the pain of blame? mirrored your gold. Choose one of these
people and, in your journal, write them a
thank you note.

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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com
 **Alternate practice: If you are in a group, find 2. Reflect on the questions posed by Valarie
a partner, and take 2 minutes each to share Kaur that reflect the I-N of RAIN: Whom have
what you love and appreciate about them. we not yet tried to love? Can we wonder about
and tend to their wounds? Who are the people
4. Recall actions you have taken that against whom you’ve hardened your heart?
have helped you to see and feel your own What would it be like to let them in, to think
goodness - perhaps a time when you helped of them as we experience ourselves, a human
someone else out, expressed love or caring, who has lived a life with the same fears,
or appreciated beauty in any of its forms. pains and joys?
Notice how this cracks the shell of your
conditioned ego beliefs about yourself. Who 3. Take some moments to reflect on
are you, really, behind the armoring? Write the difference between empathy and
down a few notes to help you remember compassion, and review the box on page 215.
when you forget. In what areas of your life, if any, do you find
yourself experiencing empathy fatigue? (Past
5. Choose one or two of the Ten Ways to or present…this could include caregiving for
Bring Loving-Kindness Alive in your Daily elderly or ill family members, working with
Life (pages 188-189) to practice over the challenging clients, interacting with your
next week. At the end of the week, journal partner or child, engaging as an activist in
or discuss how this impacted your daily the face of the many injustices in the world,
experience. etc.) How might you apply the RAIN practice
to create more mindfulness, spaciousness
6. Explore the lovingkindness practice and resilience in relating to these situations?
on page 191 or using the short guided Journal or discuss with the group.
meditation below. What happens when you
recognize the secret beauty in others? How 4. Consider how the RAIN process can
does this help you connect to the gold of help us move from pure empathy to the
your own being? What, if anything, shifts or compassionate presence of “After the RAIN”.
changes when you practice? Journal or share When you practice, what do you notice?
with the group. Heart Meditation: Taking in What shifts or changes? If nothing has
the Goodness changed, what might be in the way of resting
in natural, compassionate awareness?
CHAPTER 10: The RAIN of
5. Drawing from an experience that you
Compassion
reflected on in Question 3, practice with the
audio meditation: The RAIN of Compassion,
1. Bearing in mind how our ancestral brains
What is it Like to Be You? As you begin to
perpetuate the idea of the Unreal Other,
widen the circles of compassion, what feels
take some time to practice the reflection
most challenging? What feels easy?
“Bringing Implicit Bias Above the Line” (pages
200 - 201). Laying aside any self-judgement
6. Every day, most of us encounter suffering,
or blame (please!), consider what you learned
in our own lives, our family...even in the
about your hidden or unseen biases. What
news. These are opportunities for practice!
was new or surprising? Discuss with the
Over the next week, try “On the Streets
group or journal about what came up for you.
Compassion”, following the guidelines
on page 220. If you get stuck, remember
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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com
 that self-compassion is at the center of 3. To cultivate, embody, and express
compassion for others. Notice what comes lovingkindness, we must practice turning
up. What, if anything shifts or changes with toward love many times a day. This is the N
the practice. Journal or discuss with your of RAIN...in some way turning toward that
group at the next meeting. which brings nurturing and healing. In the
boxed reflection on page 238, you will find
7. There is much discussion in this chapter many suggestions for Turning Toward Love.
about racism and white privilege. What was Spend some time practicing. Which of these
your experience in reading about racism in resonate for you? How might you personalize
the context of the Unreal Other? Discuss or these to fit your own experience? Journal or
journal about your experience of racism and discuss with the group.
White privilege. If you’d like to take a deeper
dive into this topic, you’ll find helpful talks, Practice: Remembrance: Turning Toward Love
meditations and suggested readings on my (p. 238)
website’s Anti-Racism Resource Page.
4. Resting in Awareness (“After the RAIN”) is
CHAPTER 11: The Four a sweet opportunity to reap the rewards of
RAIN, as it deepens familiarity with loving
Remembrances
awareness as the truth of who you are, more
than any story you tell about yourself. Journal
Take a moment to review the Four
and/or discuss with the group whatever you
Remembrances on page 229, and then:
are discovering about your true essence.
1. Reflect on a recent time when you’ve found
Practice: Rest in Awareness (p. 241)
yourself lost in trance (busyness, distraction,
blame), and not attending to your loved
5. What might you do, in your life, to
ones the way you would like. This is the R of
increasingly bring your practice of wisdom
RAIN. What are specific ways that you might
and compassion to your own heart, and to
remind yourself to take an intentional pause?
the world? How can you widen the circles to
touch the suffering of the earth, non-human
Practice: Remembrance: Pause for Presence
beings and those struggling with poverty,
(p. 231-232)
social injustice, oppression and/or dis-ease?
It can be a big undertaking! Identify one thing
2. Allowing whatever is arising in this moment
that you can do this week to get started.
is at the core of the R-A of RAIN. In the boxed
reflection on page 235, you will find several
suggestions for saying yes to the reality of
each moment. Spend some time practicing.
Which of these resonate for you? What are
other ways that you might say yes to your
inner life? Journal or discuss with the group.

Practice: Remembrance: Say Yes to What is
Here (p. 235)

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Copyright © 2020 by Tara Brach, Ph.D. www.tarabrach.com