Episode 1 Theme: Team Fortress 2

Scene 1: [Camera 1] opens on PROTAGONISTs face. He is lying face up, seemingly in a therapists office. The therapist is off camera, but his voice is still heard. [Camera 2] Shows PROTAGONIST laying face up. The crossed legs of the therapist are visible, but his torso and upper body are not. PROTAGONIST: [With a weary look] [Camera 1] I dont know. I just feel like like theyre just wearing me down. Like theyre grinding me away, you know? I mean, theyre great guys in their own way, but sometimes I think that theyre a bit too eccentric? THERAPIST: [Voice from off camera] Mhmm. And you said you met them through similar interests? PROTAGONIST: [Takes a moment to reflect] [Camera 1] Yeah. We played some D&D when we first started hanging out and it eventually grew into playing videogames and hanging out some more. But I think somewhere along the way things got a little out of hand. THERAPIST: [Deeply inhales before speaking] [Camera 2] Mhmm. Mhmm. And could you perhaps elaborate a bit more on that statement? PROTAGONIST: [Camera 1] Like they are really into their hobbies. I enjoy playing games as much as the next guy, but not quite to their extent. THERAPIST: Well some people are just a little bit more interested in certain activities. It isnt uncommon for people in your age group to become invested in such things. I cant say theres much of a problem with that. [Pauses as if observing the PROTAGONISTs face] [PROTAGONIST is visibly disagreeing.] Or is there something youd care to share? PROTAGONIST: [PROTAGONIST takes a long inhale and sighs deeply] [Immediate cut. End Scene 1.]

Scene 2: [Camera 1 opens to PROTAGONIST and his GIRLFRIEND rounding a corner, as if fleeing.] [Camera 2 will consist of inside car footage] GIRLFRIEND: [Running. Shouting.] What is that? PROTAGONIST: [Running. Shouting.] Keep going! Run! Were almost- [PROTAGONISTs voice is cut off by a figure dressed as PYRO, his screams muffled by a gas mask. He is brandishing an axe and in hot pursuit.] [PROTAGONIST and GIRLFRIEND both hastily enter the car, slam their doors shut, and lock the car.] [Camera 2: PYRO reaches the car and begins to raise his axe for a downward swing] [Camera 2: PROTAGONIST and GIRLFRIEND both scream in terror, but are interrupted by a FRIEND 1 in the backseat, turn to confront the figure] FRIEND 1: [Camera 2: He is sitting in the middle backseat eating out of a bag of chips, dressed casually] [Calmly reaching into bag of chips, un-phased and staring ahead] Hes been doing this for hours. [Eats a chip] [Camera 2: PROTAGONIST and GIRLFRIEND look at each other in confusion and both look forward] [Camera 1: PYRO has finished emptying a can of clear liquid out of gasoline container. He lights a lighter] [End Scene 2.] Scene 3: [Back in THERAPISTs office. Cameras 1 and 2 back in same positions as in Scene 1] THERAPIST: [Camera 2: Therapist is taking notes] [In agreement] Huh. That does sound a bit eccentric. PROTAGONIST: [Camera 1 Visibly shaken. Turns to look up at THERAPIST] Yeah. It has led to some of the most harrowing moments of my life. Not to mention that it has begun to affect my professional life. They keep jerking me around with fake jobs. [End Scene 3]

Scene 4: [Camera opens to FRIEND 2 playing games from couch as PROTAGONIST and GIRLFRIEND walk in the door with groceries.] FRIEND 2: [Looks up from game and reaches out hand to stop the PROTAGONIST as GIRLFRIEND continues off camera] Oh hey, PROTAGONIST! GIRLFRIEND told me that youre still looking for a new job. My buddy just told me about an opening at his place. He said that he can hook you up with an interview for tomorrow. Should I tell him you can make it? PROTAGONIST: [Elated and thankful] Yeah! That would be great. Hey thanks, man. Text me the details. [FRIEND 2 shoots him a signal of confirmation. PROTAGONIST smiles and continues off camera, following GIRLFRIEND] [End Scene 4]

Scene 5: [Camera 1 opens to PROTAGONIST pulls up to alleyway. He checks the note that the address has written on it] PROTAGONIST: [Suspicion on his face, but with an accepting voice] Alright [Camera shows PROTAGONIST entering an office. The interviewers chair is turned away from PROTAGONIST] PROTAGONIST: [Polite and hestitant] Umm. Hello, Mr. Soledare? Im PROTAGONIST. Im here for the interview? INTERVIEWER: [Back still turned] [Clears throat] Please take a seat. [PROTAGONIST sits and straightens out his suit] PROTAGONIST: [Leaning forward to extend a file of papers, smugly] Heres my resume. I think that youll find it more than pleasing- [INTERVIEWERs chair spins around to reveal SOLDIER/FRIEND 2] SOLDIER: [Slamming down trench shovel on desk] Shut up, maggot! PROTAGONIST: [Startled] Dude, what?

SOLDIER: [Ever playing the drill sergeant] Take your lumps like a man, Private Twinkletoes. PROTAGONIST: [Angered] What the flip, dude? I thought you were setting me up with a SOLDIER: Shut up, maggot! This is my world. You are not welcome in my world. You are the sorriest excuse for a soldier I have ever seen! I run on blood! I take jobs from American vampires, maggot! Maggot! Maggot! Maggot! [End Scene 5]

Scene 6: [Back in therapist office] PROTAGONIST: [Camera 1] [Shaking his head. Lower lip clenched] I cant even go on a nice date with my girlfriend anymore. [End Scene 6]

Scene 7: [Camera 1 opens to a romantically lit dinner arrangement with PROTAGONIST and GIRLFRIEND placed on opposite sides of a table] PROTAGONIST: [As if finishing a joke] And then I said, Thats what the beef is for! [PROTAGONIST and GIRLFRIEND share a laugh] [Laughter is interrupted by a nerf dart hitting something nearby PROTAGONIST. He is confused and picks up the dart for inspection] [Camera 2 shows SNIPER in a tree.] SNIPER: Wanker! Camera 1 shows protagonist suddenly pelted with more darts until one knocks over a glass of water into PROTAGONISTs lap.] SNIPER: [Satisfied. He lowers his rifle and tilts the front of his hat up with his index finger] Boom. Headshot. [End Scene 7]

Scene 8 [Back in THERAPISTs office. Camera 2 shows PROTAGONIST still lying on couch, face up. The legs of THERAPIST are seen moving behind a desk or something as his unconscious body is dragged into hiding.] PROTAGONIST: [Still talking as THERAPIST is moved and bottom half of MEDIC is seen hurrying to THERAPISTs seat] I know I should just distance myself from these guys, but my girlfriend keeps insisting that I should give them another chance. [With meaningfulness] I dont think I would be able to do much without her. MEDIC: [Camera 1 Clears throat] A touching sentiment. PROTAGONIST: Yeah. Shes pretty gr- [PROTAGONIST sits up and turns to look at MEDIC] What?! How did you? What? What did you do with the doctor? MEDIC: [As if he doesnt understand] I am ze doctor. PROTAGONIST: Shut up! No youre not! What the hell, man? MEDIC: [Consoling] Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting. PROTAGONIST: [Bewildered] What? Why do you guys keep doing this? [Pauses. Matter of factly] Know what? Im leaving. Just. Just. BLECH! [Stands up to leave] MEDIC: [As if admitting] Eh vell, ze healing also leaves little time for ze hurting [Camera 2 shows PROTAGONIST walking out of door] [Camera 3 shows PROTAGONIST walking out of the other side of the door. PYRO is lying in wait in the corner, hugging his axe to his chest] [PROTAGONIST screams and runs as PYRO gives chase] [End Scene 8]

Credits Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah [Credits end] Aftercredits [PROTAGONIST closes front door, tosses coat, and turns to pause staring at the kitchen.] [HEAVY is standing in the kitchen, ingredients and groceries strewn about the countertop, eating a sanvich] [PROTAGONIST stares, turns head slightly in direction of his walk path, then continues toward down the hall to his bedroom] [End aftercredits]